lscmichelle
29-08-16, 04:04
I thought I can break out of my extreme anxiety on getting melanoma but then i realised the harder I try to not think about it, the more I find myself worrying to DEATH about it and its still consuming every aspect of my (previously) perfect life and i am 19.
Just stumbled across a video of a young 25 Australian girl who died from melanoma because she used to go to tanning salons but did not have a single clue about the risk she is exposing - That terrifies me to death,can barely even breathe. i have been out in the sun a lot when i was a kid and throughout my high school i used to go to the beach during weekends and i don't remember how many times cause i never counted. My mind is forcing the idea on me that there are many cells that are damaged in my body, and their DNA are going to change one day and cancer will definitely eat me up.
Adding to that, I know it sounds very irrational to all of you but a part of me still believes that the long term exposure to the light from my smartphone (since i often use it in pitch dark on bed which is very harmful i think) has highly increased my risk of eye melanoma. i am planning to visit the ophthalmologist every year, in the hope of finding it early enough to be treated. However this still contributes to a majority of my extreme anxiety.
I have seek help and have told my parents about this paranoia and anxiety/depression that has been dreading me, but they seem helpless and don't know what to do, I don't want to annoy them any further so I have to keep this struggle to myself, which is very tough.
Somedays will be better than others, but once the thought of me definitely dying someday cause of this deadliest form of skin cancer creeps back, I find it very very very hard to brush it off and continue with my life. Not sure will the THOUGHT of getting melanoma kill me first or the actual disease will, but either one will eventually do..
Im posting here to seek some comfort, or in the hope that someone understands what Im going through. :unsure: I feel like i am wasting everybody's time because I have expressed my worries a few times before, im exhausted of worrying, exhausted of the thought of dying spinning in my head, i really have tried so hard to not think the worst but it seems like i just can't control it. im sorry
Just stumbled across a video of a young 25 Australian girl who died from melanoma because she used to go to tanning salons but did not have a single clue about the risk she is exposing - That terrifies me to death,can barely even breathe. i have been out in the sun a lot when i was a kid and throughout my high school i used to go to the beach during weekends and i don't remember how many times cause i never counted. My mind is forcing the idea on me that there are many cells that are damaged in my body, and their DNA are going to change one day and cancer will definitely eat me up.
Adding to that, I know it sounds very irrational to all of you but a part of me still believes that the long term exposure to the light from my smartphone (since i often use it in pitch dark on bed which is very harmful i think) has highly increased my risk of eye melanoma. i am planning to visit the ophthalmologist every year, in the hope of finding it early enough to be treated. However this still contributes to a majority of my extreme anxiety.
I have seek help and have told my parents about this paranoia and anxiety/depression that has been dreading me, but they seem helpless and don't know what to do, I don't want to annoy them any further so I have to keep this struggle to myself, which is very tough.
Somedays will be better than others, but once the thought of me definitely dying someday cause of this deadliest form of skin cancer creeps back, I find it very very very hard to brush it off and continue with my life. Not sure will the THOUGHT of getting melanoma kill me first or the actual disease will, but either one will eventually do..
Im posting here to seek some comfort, or in the hope that someone understands what Im going through. :unsure: I feel like i am wasting everybody's time because I have expressed my worries a few times before, im exhausted of worrying, exhausted of the thought of dying spinning in my head, i really have tried so hard to not think the worst but it seems like i just can't control it. im sorry