High anxiety all the time

[Alancja]

I have been here before but never for this long.

I am usually a pretty anxious person but I have always been excited or passionate about something else which made me sorta forget the anxiety. But this January I had an evening where I was having non-stop panic attacks, alone, during a blizzard...

I feel like, ever since then, my brain has been broken. I am on medication and going to therapy but I still fall asleep and wake up with the same anxiety symptoms. Feeling restless but scared to leave the comfort of my bed.

I am supposed to go to Italy a week from now, for 5 weeks. It is supposed to be beautiful, I will get to see my girlfriend, and I will be doing what I (used to) love. But I am so worried about going and being afraid and miserable the whole time.

I asked my friend how I was supposed to enjoy something when I don't even feel like being alive. He said at least I will feel like that someplace beautiful...

I don't know what I am looking for here. Just wanted to share and hope someone can convince me that this trip will not be a complete disaster. I have the biggest fear that I will end up needing to be hospitalized in a foreign country or I will sink even deeper into depression.

[swgrl09]

Oh wow, Italy for 5 weeks sounds beautiful! I went for one week and loved it, wish I could have stayed longer. Where are you going to be visiting?

It can be scary to go abroad, especially overseas with anxiety. Have you talked to your therapist about ways to prepare for the trip?

[Alancja]

Yeah, I have talked to my therapist a bit and I think she is good I just haven't had much time with her. Basically trying to teach me to remind myself that I am OK and it will pass but it is hard to believe.

I am going to a small town called Ventimiglia, 20 miles south of Nice, France.

[swgrl09]

Honestly, everybody is different but when I was very depressed I actually found changes of scenery helped my mood. So it's possible it will be a good change for you.

[ana]

I admire your determination in not bailing out on the holiday. I'm someone who's been suffering from panic attacks for 15 years and even though I'm agoraphobic,I find that being indoors makes me worse. It frustrates me and makes me feel trapped. The place I live in is full of bad memories and spending some time somewhere different would benefit me,and I believe the holiday will do you a world of good,too ☺