Alancja
31-08-16, 21:42
I have been here before but never for this long.
I am usually a pretty anxious person but I have always been excited or passionate about something else which made me sorta forget the anxiety. But this January I had an evening where I was having non-stop panic attacks, alone, during a blizzard...
I feel like, ever since then, my brain has been broken. I am on medication and going to therapy but I still fall asleep and wake up with the same anxiety symptoms. Feeling restless but scared to leave the comfort of my bed.
I am supposed to go to Italy a week from now, for 5 weeks. It is supposed to be beautiful, I will get to see my girlfriend, and I will be doing what I (used to) love. But I am so worried about going and being afraid and miserable the whole time.
I asked my friend how I was supposed to enjoy something when I don't even feel like being alive. He said at least I will feel like that someplace beautiful...
I don't know what I am looking for here. Just wanted to share and hope someone can convince me that this trip will not be a complete disaster. I have the biggest fear that I will end up needing to be hospitalized in a foreign country or I will sink even deeper into depression.
I am usually a pretty anxious person but I have always been excited or passionate about something else which made me sorta forget the anxiety. But this January I had an evening where I was having non-stop panic attacks, alone, during a blizzard...
I feel like, ever since then, my brain has been broken. I am on medication and going to therapy but I still fall asleep and wake up with the same anxiety symptoms. Feeling restless but scared to leave the comfort of my bed.
I am supposed to go to Italy a week from now, for 5 weeks. It is supposed to be beautiful, I will get to see my girlfriend, and I will be doing what I (used to) love. But I am so worried about going and being afraid and miserable the whole time.
I asked my friend how I was supposed to enjoy something when I don't even feel like being alive. He said at least I will feel like that someplace beautiful...
I don't know what I am looking for here. Just wanted to share and hope someone can convince me that this trip will not be a complete disaster. I have the biggest fear that I will end up needing to be hospitalized in a foreign country or I will sink even deeper into depression.