Lost My Support (Dog) Fear I'll Go Back to Black

[Haulden]

Long time lurker and first time poser.

I've had in and off depression and anxiety for years. I've been free and OK for the past three years.

A key part of my therapy was walking my dog, talking to him (odd but true) and having that support.

I've got a very supportive family and partner but I've never liked talking about about my struggles with well...humans!

Sadly at 17, my old Retriever had to be out to sleep, aside the normal grief, I'm in a good job, good relationship but I'm terrified that I'll fall back into the lack, so to speak, because I don't have my dog anymore.

I know it sounds crazy but it real,y helped me, I don't want another dog because I can't commit to it but I cannot shake off the fear that I'm going to fail again

[jadedreams]

I am so sorry for your loss, I just lost my cat who was almost 18 years a couple weeks ago and it's rough. I know how much pets can bring to your life, how much support they can provide. It sounds like yours had a good long life (17 is amazing for a larger dog) with you. Please take care of yourself and rely on the people in your life at this time. I am so glad to hear you recovered from anxiety and depression, I am still working on mine and am somewhere in the middle. A fear of it returning is completely normal, you have coping skills you learned in recovery and you can look to those now.

Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you and am sending you hugs.

[Shazamataz]

Losing a pet is so hard! 17 is a really good life for a retriever though so he must have been well loved and cared for. Was he a golden Retriever or a Lab?

I lost my 13.5 year old Golden in November last year and it was very hard. I still miss him alot. I only had him for 2.5 years (saved him from a marriage break up), but that's long enough to fall in love. I still have two other dogs, thankfully, as I am single with no kids and only one family member in the same town.

I am wondering if you could fill the void by offering to walk a rescued dog? Or for someone who can't, like an elderly neighbour? That was you could have dog time without the responsibility.

Otherwise, it sounds like you haven't 'failed' but are just worried about doing so. It won't necessarily happen but will take time to get over the loss and that's very normal.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I'm really sorry to hear that you have lost your dog.

There's nothing wrong with talking to your dog, don't we all in some way? If it helped you feel better, there's nothing wrong with it and your dog was getting loving attention so he would have loved it!

He lived to quite an age and those were years he felt loved. Dogs are so loving, he would have known he was loved and that you took away his pain when the time came.

[Elen]

So sorry for your loss. I can only echo what others have said, that is an execptional age for a retriever, you must have looked after him really well.

Not a thing wrong in talking to your dog, I think we all do it.

There is no reason why you should relapse now. It sounds as though you have gotten yourself to a pretty good place.

As suggested maybe volunteer for a rescue or look at something like the Cinnamon Trust. They are a charity where volunteers help vulnerable people keep their pets by offering support through dog walking etc.

Cats too can be brilliant as they tend to like to snuggle up to you but are less restricting than dogs. Cat Protection League are always struggling to find fosters or permanent homes for cats and kittens.

Once again my sincere condolences for your loss. My dogs are my life and a little piece of me dies every time I lose one.

[Haulden]

Thank you all for your kind words and support.

I guess it's working out what's normal grief and acceptable vs what's the bad stuff.

I'll look into the volunteering aspect, probably a bit too raw to consider right now but certainly down the line. It's just a weird time, I never understood people who got attached to dogs or animals until I did myself. The grief is unexpectedly heavy

[swgrl09]

I am so sorry to read about your dog. We definitely grieve our pets. I know with my pets I really struggled when they passed. I think you feel what you have to feel honestly. It's a tribute to what a great dog you had. :hugs: