Do you think its rude to invite people to wedding reception only & not the ceremony?

[GingerFish]

I had my meeting with the wedding venue manager today and was told for no extra price I could invite an extra 20 people at night for the disco and buffet as well as my 25 guests I am inviting to the ceremony and meal.

I know it seems to be quite common to invite some people just to the reception and keep the ceremony and meal for close family and friends but I've always found it a bit rude to be invited to just the one thing but maybe that is just me. I'm debating whether to have the extra guests at night since it is free and I do know a few people I could invite but I don't know

I don't have the money to invite the extra 20 guests I could have at night to the ceremony and meal plus I suffer badly with nerves and panic attacks so want to keep the ceremony and meal quite small as those are two things I will be most nervous about on the day.

[brucealmighty]

I`d try not to worry it used to be important years ago that you invited the extra special people to the ceremony etc and people you didn`t know too well just to the night do but realistically money and your own preference has to take priority.

I got married years back and only one person didn`t show up at the night do because we hadn`t asked them to the day, everyone else was just happy for us

best of luck with everything hope it works out for you

[KeeKee]

No of course it isn't rude. I attended a wedding early this year (my first one) and my friend only had close friends and relatives attend the actual ceremony. More people were there on the evening.

However if you feel anxious with more people there's no harm just leaving it at the 25 guests you will have attending the wedding.

[Magic]

I was about to say the same thing as KeeKee. Good Luck GF x

[Elen]

I used to organise weddings and it is normal practice to have people at the reception only and I am sure that people are used to the idea. As keekee says though if you would be more comfortable without extra guests that is up to you. It's your big day so whatever makes you happy

[Pepperpot]

I got married last year and had 8 people at my ceremony cos I did it on a budget and that's the way it was. I didnt invite a lot of my family, and I rang them up and just told them straight. None of them were bothered and were pleased to be coming to the evening do. If I can give you one piece of advice, it is to sod what you think other people want - it is your day. I wanted a punk rock band - none of my friends/family like that music but I didnt care. I was paying for it, so I wanted it. (I didnt get it cos they cancelled on me 2weeks before and I had to get a totally different type of band but thats not the point lol). Honestly, if you try to please everyone and not yourself you will end up miserable. Oh and one of my bridesmaids also wore converse (as did I), much to the disapprovement of some people - but did I care? Not a bit :)

[Pipkin]

Your wedding, your choice! It's about you and your partner not everyone else so do what suits you.

Anyway, I agree with the others, it's quite normal to invite people to the evening do rather than the full day. We had just the two of us at the wedding and no reception if that makes you feel better!

Pip

[pulisa]

That sounds ideal, Pipkin!

GF, you do exactly what you want to suit you and to ensure that you both have the best and happiest day possible! Don't worry about anyone else-it's your day.