crying a lot

[lotusblossom]

Hi all was diagnosed with gad 5 years ago and have had every symptom going and more I was quite optimistic at first that I would recover but not any more. The last few weeks have been the worst with symptoms and now I feel so down all I want to do is cry, hopelessness and helplessness is all I feel now and I cant see that I will ever get better.I used to feel optimistic that every blip I will come through but even that has gone I have no interest in anything now, I used to enjoy my home and buying things for it making it look nice and inviting but no more sometimes I would think if I went to bed and didn't wake up that would solve everything. Throughout it all I tried to think positive that there is a light at the end of the tunnel but there isn't just more of the same struggle,now depression has taken hold and I just burst out crying have no interest in anything I have to force myself to do anything andits not the life I want to live,I know the only person that can make this right is me but I am tired of waking up every day knowing what awaits me I also have arthritis and fibromyalgia wich gives me pain.I am a real german shepherd nut I lost 2 in February of 2006 and 1 in February last year they were my life for 20 years they weremychildren my friends my protectors they were everything to me I always preferred animals to people. we now have another a beautiful smart mischievous boy that I love with every part of my being but if I wasn't here he would have my partner who would love and care for him , sorry Ive gone on a bit but just needed to put down what was in my head.

[georgewing]

I am very sory for you as you are in a bad situation and i dont know how i can encourage as life hit you very hard .I hope that in one day you will wind the light of the tunnel and i would advise you to not take life as its a huge sin in front of god

[LittleMissAlone]

Hello Lotus Blossom

Are you really thinking suicidal thoughts? Please don't feel that badly, and not because of 'God' but because it would be a terrible waste. You have your partner and dog and I imagine lots of other reasons to keep going. :hugs:

[lotusblossom]

Thanks for the replies no I wouldn't do anything at all I just feel that after all the hard work that I put in to be positive and optimistic of a recovery Ime back where I started, and that's hard to take, I am seeing the doc this week because the duloxetine has run its course and dosent do anything now perhaps a change of meds will help bring me back to a positive place, thanks once again for replies

[Mojo61]

Hi Lotusblossom. I'm sorry to hear you are in a tough place at the moment and I would agree that a visit to your doctor would be in order as there are many different meds out there and it could be something as simple as just a change.

I know what it's like to feel rotten every day, although I've only had my issues since November. What are your symptoms and how do they affect you if you don't mind me asking? x

[lotusblossom]

hi there my symptoms have been endless I started off with diahrea ectopics head zaps fear and dread nausea lightheadedness my bowels took on a life of their own I couldn't leave the house this turned into agoraphobia pain behind my eyes headaches the list is endless I don't get the ectopics now or the head zaps and my digestive systemis back to normal I still get headaches and pain in my eyes and I still have palps whenI wake up I now get hissing in my ears and heat lumps thatI never got before it has really knocked my confidence wondering whats coming next

[Mojo61]

Goodness, that sounds dreadful! I take it you have had all the relevant tests to rule out anything medical?

[lotusblossom]

yes I have had all the relevant tests they ok. I have had to have a home visit today from the doctor I feel so bad. Waiting on the psychiatrist to change my meds. would you believe that last weekend I was fine and dandy out and about had a grand bank holiday weekend went places did things enjoyed it very much, then wham symptoms back with a vengeance, just letting you know that the nasty anxiety is still around. I have been doing this for 5 years now and when symptoms pass I feel really well and could climb Everest. Anxiety can make you poorly and at the moment I do feel poorly, I don't know why its this bad the doc asked if anything has happened recently but it hasn't so I don't know what has made it this bad

---------- Post added at 19:59 ---------- Previous post was at 19:42 ----------

the only thing I can think of is that about 3 weeks ago I started with hissing in my left ear really loud then it went to my right ear then into my head and I just expected it to pass but it didn't I had it for four days and started to get worked up thinking it would never go that ive got it forever then woke up day five and it had gone. In the back of my mind I knew it would come back they all do and sure enough it has off and on ever since but its one of the most irritating noises and I can feel my anxiety risingjust wating for it to come back ears are fine checked 2 weeks ago

[dale12345]

I hope you feel better

[lotusblossom]

thanks Dale ive only been on this site about 2 weeks but I feel blessed by all the kind words and support that ive been given it really helps