Does my Sister have social anxiety?

[lb76696]

My Sister is 26 and I fear she might have been suffering for unnoticed social anxiety her whole life. She was always quite a quiet child, however, she had a core group of friends up until the age of about 16. She randomly fell out with said friends when out one night and I feel her confidence has been worse ever since. After this, she dropped out of sixth form and had two years where she stayed at home and refused to get a job or go into education. She would simply get angry at my Mother. She did not have any friends during this period. She then found the courage somehow to go to college and afterwards progressed to Uni. During Uni she had a small group of housemates whom she liked, but socialised with rarely. Since graduating (two years ago), she has reverted back to her shell again. She is refusing to get a job or do a Masters. She gets angry at my Mum whenever she mentions it. She won't even pay rent, which I believe is because if her money runs out she will have no choice but to do something. I would say I'm closest to her, however, I have lost touch with her since moving out myself. We rarely text because it can be very hard to have a conversation with her. She can give very little back. I'm currently lying awake worrying about her because I feel she's already wasted her life and I don't want her to waste anymore. We, as a family, would love to see her make friends and have a partner. We have never really been able to approach topics with her because she just gets angry and will shut herself away. Does it sound like classic social anxiety? I myself suffer quite badly from health anxiety, so I don't know if I'm trying to just tar her with the same brush so to speak.

[KeeKee]

It could be social anxiety, could also be depression.

[georgewing]

Yes it can be anxiety and also depresion you must find the cause what make her to suffer .I think its something from theyr childhood that afect her a lot

[davidpolidan]

Yes, these are the symptoms of anxiety. Social environment is also an important factor among anxiety disorder and some of them your sister posses such as rejection, lack of warmth, anxious, insensitivity, restrictiveness, social isolation, criticism, shame tactics and concern with others opinions.

[lilxe]

Hi there, my brother is EXACTLY the same. Literally, he ticks of every single behaviour that you mentioned in your sister. It is such a difficult situation and I know how upsetting this is. I feel as though it is made more difficult because sometimes people with family members in this situation feel as though they are the only ones with children/relatives like this as it it seems to be such an unusual situation. Although she probably feels anxious in social situations, I do not feel the main issue for her is social anxiety, perhaps she has a mild form of aspergers/autism? My brother was never officially diagnosed but he was textbook aspergers as he would line up toys in lines/had language and social difficulties as a child ect. When he turned 13 he actually locked himself away and didn't go to school for a year and would not even acknowledge us or anyone else. He was then practically forced to go back to school as the authorities got involved and then he started living a 'normal' life for a few years. However, as soon as he turned 17 he point blank refused to go to work/college and to this day at the age of 21, spends most of his days alone in his room.

Although in my brothers case it could very well be down to some form of autism, these behaviours are accompanied with a wide range of mental disorders i.e depression/schizophrenia so its important to look into this.

I can say though that my brother's behaviour has improved as he has gradually started speaking back to me and my mum (Even though we initiate it, it is something at least!) and he is less angry in general. I really hope he continues to improve and I wish improvements for your sister and anyone else suffering from this distress.

All the best

xxx