Feel like I've reached a ceiling in my recovery

[damianjmcgrath]

I've had anxiety for many years now, almost always focused on my heart. It's kicked into overdrive following the birth of my daughter, I think that event made me aware of my mortality.

My anxiety feels like a weird form. It's not as dramatic as others. It's very "internal", there's almost no outwardly signs at all. I don't hyperventilate. I sweat a little bit, but only noticeable to me for some reason. I don't faint, or collapse. I don't even look or act anxious - I can still perform at work, hold conversations, go out socially, do things, etc. Not many people can tell I'm anxious at all. In fact, a lot of people think I'm very confident.

Inside my head though, I am constantly thinking the worst, almost planning to have a catastrophic event like a heart attack. I get aches and pains, from little stabby pains to dull throbs, and tingles/pins and needles in my hands and feet at random times, a heavy head, yawning fits, etc every few minutes, and it triggers what-if thoughts.

I've dealt with it as best I can - I've had CBT, been to a Mindfulness course, read countless books, and I've reached a point where I know it's anxiety causing my problems.

Accepting that is a big step for me, and it has helped me a bit. However, I can't seem to make the next step forward.

All of my symptoms make me tired, irritable, grumpy, heavy headed, heavy-chested, and make me feel like I can't be bothered to do anything. Those symptoms feel so real, probably because they are, that I'm finding it really tough to ignore them. For example, my mum gets migraines, and she basically just has to go to bed because she can't do anything else. I feel like that. I feel so lethargic and achey that it's almost impossible to ignore them and carry on as normal. I have to just lie down. It feels like I'm giving in to it though.

I don't know how to not let it affect me like that every day. I want to have energy. I went to a wedding the other week, and people were dancing, and I felt like I wouldn't physically be able to move my body like that, because I feel so stiff and tense.

Has anyone got any tips for how to actually combat the physical effects of the anxiety?

[Gary A]

Much like a physical illness, you have to heal. Healing is a process, it takes time and patience. It would be great if it was just like clicking a switch, but neither the mind or body work like that I'm afraid.

You've done the hard part, it's now just a case of trying to settle back into old routines. Try and do things that make you happy, socialise with friends and things like that. Even if you don't really feel up to it, it's always best to try and get into a rhythm.

[Fishmanpa]

Much like a physical illness, you have to heal. Healing is a process, it takes time and patience. It would be great if it was just like clicking a switch, but neither the mind or body work like that I'm afraid.

You've done the hard part, it's now just a case of trying to settle back into old routines. Try and do things that make you happy, socialise with friends and things like that. Even if you don't really feel up to it, it's always best to try and get into a rhythm.

Spot on Gary... it takes a long time for the hot embers of an anxiety fire to finally go out. And even then, it's like dry kindling, needing only a spark to start burning again.

When I see some prolific posters saying they're doing better after a day or so, it raises doubts as physically as well as mentally it's not possible. As you said, one doesn't just turn off the switch.

As far as battling the physical symptoms? It comes down to using the tools you learned during therapy as well as acceptance that the symptoms you feel are created mentally and while a bother, are not sinister in any way. Often pushing through and distraction are key elements in the battle. How many times have your symptoms waned when you were distracted? ;)

Positive thoughts

[damianjmcgrath]

I guess I get confused about the right thing to do. I'm not sure whether to take it easy and rest and heal the body or whether to push through and keep doing stuff.

I mean, am I tired? Or is the anxiety creating the illusion of tired? Or is it both?

I also feel a sort of pressure to do the right thing for fear of making things worse.

[Colicab85]

Honestly, this thread could have been written by me.

This is EXACTLY the stage I am at right now, I look and act totally normal. I am able to go to the pub, for walks, do my job etc but all the while I'm worrying inside.

Like yourself, I also get constant symptoms, the are NOWHERE near the level they were at a few months ago where I was having daily panic attacks and lost nearly 2 stone. But I am just always tired. I wake up tired, I stay tired throughout the day and I go to bed tired. I also don't mean tired in a physical sense, like my limbs aren't achey. It's a tired/fog in my head.

I figured that after the crazy 3 months I've had that my mind and body have yet to fully "catch up" so to speak? Could this be accurate?

Thanks for bringing this post up, it's made me realise that what's going on with me right now is not just confined to me.

Cheers.