ScaredMama
08-09-16, 20:06
Back in February I moved into a new house with my husband and 2 year old. Around this time I began to notice an odd feeling under my left lower ribs. It's a dull pain, most of the time I am able to ignore it, and for a long time that's exactly what I did. It may have even disappeared for a while. Fast forward to last month when I was walking on the beach and got a splinter in my foot. As I was removing said splinter I noticed an oddly colored mole underneath my toe. I became instantly depressed, as I had heard a rumor that a mole under your foot or on your palm means melanoma. Unfortunately my first job was in a tanning salon, and I tanned COUNTLESS times over a few years. While googling, I read some scary statistics about how if you visit a tanning salon just one time, you increase your risk of melanoma by 75%. For a week while awaiting a dermatology appointment I planned for my death. Thinking about having to say goodbye to my beautiful baby, and having him never know his Mama. Kissing my husband and regretting every silly arguement. At the visit, the dermatologist assured me that a mole on the bottom of your foot isn't an automatic death sentence, but proceeded to biopsy it. Not two days later it came back as being benign. That was a major relief but now this debacle has started a revolution in my brain. I am currently fixated on the pain under my left ribs. I started to Google again, and assumed I must have chronic pancreatitis. In a panic, I gathered all of things and drove to the emergency room. They took my blood to test for enzymes and infection, and all came back clear. They offered a CT scan, but as I am still breastfeeding, I could not take the contrast dye and continue to feed my son. They said that it could be a stomach ulcer and gave me omeprazole. I have never had acid issues in the past. Now, in an hour, I have an appointment to see my new primary care provider. Since the mole scare and my newly found health anxiety, I have lost almost 10lbs in 2 weeks. I am currently on an ulcer diet (in case that is what it is), and am continuing to lose weight. Now I am convinced that I have cancer eating away at me. My mouth is dry while eating, possibly because of my new medication (I never take medications) and I think I have diabetes or even pancreatic cancer. My entire body is sore, probably from not eating my usual amount of calories, but my mind instantly assumes it's from cancer. Sore under armpit and under left jaw, must be my lymph nodes- cancer. I don't know how to halt this thought process, so I will ask my doctor today to refer me to a therapist.