Brittanykfit
11-09-16, 05:01
Hi everyone !
I struggled with severe anxiety for about 2 years with panic attacks.
I'm in therapy and I've never taken any meds.
30 years old , happily married, no kids.
I've always been a super positive happy person.
My anxiety stared after a traumatic health event (I'm healthy and fine now)
I'm pretty sure I'm in the recovering stages because I have many good days with no anxiety and I feel completely normal. I have no issues with leaving the house, driving, seeing friends, working etc.
However, usually close to the time of my period, (or when I haven't eaten properly or done my yoga ) I will have a few days where I am absolutely obsessed with worrying about if I have a mental disorder.
It comes out of nowhere !
The reason I worry about having a mental disorder is because of the thoughts that randomly flash through my mind and how I react to them.
I am terrified of the thought of one day possibly wanting to end my life (I love life and it makes no sense - it's like I am absolutely terrified of becoming depressed or so anxious that I won't be able to cope)
It's like my mind is taunting me with my biggest fears ! I try to "accept" it but OMG how can you accept something so psycho and so opposite of your core values ?! I feel like a psychotic person when I obsess and worry about these things ! I also have a deep underlying fear of going crazy or having a mental illness (I've been diagnosed only with anxiety by all of my doctors)
The crazy thing is , some days I feel perfect and couldn't even try to feel anxious if I tried !!!!
Then bam. Obsessive worry about being mentally ill and coping with life. I get derealization when I am in my head all day worrying and that makes it worse. Then a couple days later, I'm normal again like it never happened.
Is this anxiety ? OCD?
I don't have compulsions. Sometimes I get urges to clench my teeth or stare a something for a long time .... freaking weird ?!?!
Advice / thoughts are so much appreciated !!
I've been on my mental illness worry trip all day today !
I struggled with severe anxiety for about 2 years with panic attacks.
I'm in therapy and I've never taken any meds.
30 years old , happily married, no kids.
I've always been a super positive happy person.
My anxiety stared after a traumatic health event (I'm healthy and fine now)
I'm pretty sure I'm in the recovering stages because I have many good days with no anxiety and I feel completely normal. I have no issues with leaving the house, driving, seeing friends, working etc.
However, usually close to the time of my period, (or when I haven't eaten properly or done my yoga ) I will have a few days where I am absolutely obsessed with worrying about if I have a mental disorder.
It comes out of nowhere !
The reason I worry about having a mental disorder is because of the thoughts that randomly flash through my mind and how I react to them.
I am terrified of the thought of one day possibly wanting to end my life (I love life and it makes no sense - it's like I am absolutely terrified of becoming depressed or so anxious that I won't be able to cope)
It's like my mind is taunting me with my biggest fears ! I try to "accept" it but OMG how can you accept something so psycho and so opposite of your core values ?! I feel like a psychotic person when I obsess and worry about these things ! I also have a deep underlying fear of going crazy or having a mental illness (I've been diagnosed only with anxiety by all of my doctors)
The crazy thing is , some days I feel perfect and couldn't even try to feel anxious if I tried !!!!
Then bam. Obsessive worry about being mentally ill and coping with life. I get derealization when I am in my head all day worrying and that makes it worse. Then a couple days later, I'm normal again like it never happened.
Is this anxiety ? OCD?
I don't have compulsions. Sometimes I get urges to clench my teeth or stare a something for a long time .... freaking weird ?!?!
Advice / thoughts are so much appreciated !!
I've been on my mental illness worry trip all day today !