Medical obsessions and Schizophrenia

[SuperBugMan]

Hey guys

About a month ago I had the worst string of panic attacks in my life. I couldn't stop shaking for nearly 2 days, got nausea and vomited. I was convinced I had brain cancer. I even cried a few times for seemingly NO REASON, which further supported the brain tumor idea.. When I went to the doctor and had abnormal liver enzymes (AST 67 ALT 94) I was convinced it was the end. The cancer had spread to my liver from my brain.

I got another liver test and came back normal, saw a neurologist and be said it's all anxiety.

I saw a psychiatrist on the 8th and started cymbalta. Since then I haven't been able to shake the feeling that I'm loosing it. Everything feels like a dream. Sometimes I have a hard time sorting my memories. Confusing some dream memories with real life. Last night I had a vivid nightmare and was upset for a few minutes, it took me two minutes to realize it was all a dream

I'm also having existential issues. Why am I here, what is the point, am I going crazy, society is so fragile, life is so fragile...

A few days ago I was driving home and on my way I saw a mailbox and firehydrant. In the corner of my eye. I was sure it was a person about to step in the road. Like 99%. When I looked at it for a second I realized it was just a mailbox

Sometimes I will think I hear a phone ringing.

I have had this happen before. I've also had delusions of medical problems. I was convinced I had a brain tumor a while back. I also have small sparks or flashes light in my vision ocassionally, especially when moving my head. I have had it looked at my an Opthomoligist and they said my eyes are fine.

After all of this, I started researching and noticed that many of these symptoms appear to be the signs of early schizophrenia
. My Symptoms: Derealization, Brain Fog, random messed up thoughts, replaying music in my head, Illusions, and anxiety.

My days now consist of a constant fear of Schizophrenia. Every sound I hear needs to be accounted for. I often pull out my phone and video record to prove that a sound really happened. Just this last night, one of my brothers had an alarm that went off at 4am. Instantly, I thought I had hallucinated and spent the rest of the night googling predomal schizophrenia symptoms. Only to find out in the morning that alarm really happened

Could this be the start of schizophrenia? I have seen a Psychiatrist, but he thinks it's just ocd and anxiety.

I've also done 23andme genetic testing, and according to my raw data, I am 6x more likely to develop schizophrenia than the general population

[lostinamist]

Hi SuperBugMan,

I'm sorry to hear you're going through all this. I'm also experiencing the same fear and its terrifying. I have most of the same symptoms as you. I've been questioning reality, my thoughts, actions, how I appear to others, whether or not I'll completely lose it and end up in psych ward etc.

All of the symptoms you're experiencing sound like severe anxiety and OCD. Anxiety really plays tricks on your mind. I've had this fear in the past and I managed to overcome it for years but something has triggered me just recently and it's all come back.

I try not to research because it only makes me feel worse. I've also read that if you question your sanity, its highly unlikely you're insane or will become insane. People who are insane do not question reality and they do not experience overwhelming anxiety related to a fear of becoming insane.

Feel free to send me a message if you like

[SLA]

Hi SuperBugMan

I have responded in red text to your post.


Hey guys

About a month ago I had the worst string of panic attacks in my life. I couldn't stop shaking for nearly 2 days, got nausea and vomited. I was convinced I had brain cancer. I even cried a few times for seemingly NO REASON, which further supported the brain tumor idea.. When I went to the doctor and had abnormal liver enzymes (AST 67 ALT 94) I was convinced it was the end. The cancer had spread to my liver from my brain.

Let's isolate each issue, and deal with it seperately. First of all, you are in a highly anxious state, and this has manifested itself in many ways. The first being Health Anxiety. You are panicking about Brain Cancer, and that has sent your brain into overdrive. It is now looking to back up that reasoning, by searching for evidence to back it up. This is how all Health Anxiety starts. You are now taking any small thing to try and back this up, and adding it to the Brain Cancer list.

I got another liver test and came back normal, saw a neurologist and be said it's all anxiety.

The neurologist was right.

I saw a psychiatrist on the 8th and started cymbalta. Since then I haven't been able to shake the feeling that I'm loosing it. Everything feels like a dream. Sometimes I have a hard time sorting my memories. Confusing some dream memories with real life. Last night I had a vivid nightmare and was upset for a few minutes, it took me two minutes to realize it was all a dream.

How has your sleep been in general? When I was in the midst of chronic anxiety, I felt the same. You know why? My brain was EXHAUSTED! You do not make rational and logical decisions when you are worn out and stressed about things. This then exacerbates anxiety EVEN MORE. You now use your fuzzy thinking, and poor memory as other reasons to back-up why you think you are losing it.

You are not losing it. Your brain is super-tired, and stressed.

Last year, just after my second daughter was born, I hadn't slept for about 36 hours. The next morning when I woke up it took me 15 minutes to work out where the f**k I was, and what had happened. I couldnt work out how I got home from the hospital.

I'm also having existential issues. Why am I here, what is the point, am I going crazy, society is so fragile, life is so fragile...

These are all normal questions that everyone has. They become more apparent when you are tired, and in need of answers.

A few days ago I was driving home and on my way I saw a mailbox and firehydrant. In the corner of my eye. I was sure it was a person about to step in the road. Like 99%. When I looked at it for a second I realized it was just a mailbox.

Ha!

Another story, when my first daughter was born, I had to drive home at 3am. I hadn't eaten or slept in 24 hours. Every tree and hedge at the side of the road looked like someone was hidden in it. EVERY SINGLE ONE.

Sometimes I will think I hear a phone ringing.

Normal.

I have had this happen before. I've also had delusions of medical problems. I was convinced I had a brain tumor a while back. I also have small sparks or flashes light in my vision occasionally, especially when moving my head. I have had it looked at my an Opthomoligist and they said my eyes are fine.

Simple Health Anxiety. Listen to the experts and play the percentages game. Everyone who has ever had anxiety has thought they have a brain tumor at some point. It's par for the course. :D

After all of this, I started researching and noticed that many of these symptoms appear to be the signs of early schizophrenia
. My Symptoms: Derealization, Brain Fog, random messed up thoughts, replaying music in my head, Illusions, and anxiety.

More confirmation bias regarding Health Anxiety. All of the symptoms you list are linked to anxiety, stress, and exhaustion.

My days now consist of a constant fear of Schizophrenia. Every sound I hear needs to be accounted for. I often pull out my phone and video record to prove that a sound really happened. Just this last night, one of my brothers had an alarm that went off at 4am. Instantly, I thought I had hallucinated and spent the rest of the night googling predomal schizophrenia symptoms. Only to find out in the morning that alarm really happened

YOU NEED TO STOP OVER-ANALYZING EVERYTHING AND GIVE YOUR BRAIN A REST!

Could this be the start of schizophrenia? I have seen a Psychiatrist, but he thinks it's just ocd and anxiety.

No. Have faith in me. I have been exactly where you are. The story turns out alright.

I've also done 23andme genetic testing, and according to my raw data, I am 6x more likely to develop schizophrenia than the general population

Stop looking for reasons to confirm your wrong beliefs!

You do not have multiple personalities. You are a normal human being who's brain burnt out on anxious worries.

My advice on what to do next:
Give yourself permission to rest, and not worry. Even if its only for one day.
Go for a nice walk.
Listen to some Eckhart Tolle tapes.

One day you will look back on these days positively, as they made you stronger.