Can't handle this anymore

[franfhm]

Hey all, sorry I haven't posted for a while life has been so hectic, and sorry for this essay but I need to get it all off my chest.

As some of you may (or may not!) remember, I moved in to a new flat with my boyfriend just before Christmas. Things really haven't gone well. I spent the first month wanting to go home to my parents (I'm 23 for god's sake), and the rest of it just goes by day to day. We've had problems with our neighbours regularly and its been a nightmare - so we've decided to move.

The only problem is we've had trouble selling, so we've part exchanged against a new house on the same estate. This meaning we haven't made that much money on the place, and have a huge mortgage on the new place. So in less than 6 months, all the stress of last time we have to go through again. I just don't feel I can take it all again. The money bit is quite worrying too, and my boyfriend is having to sell his car so we can help pay for the new place. Meaning the trip to Australia we were so looking forward to in Jan 2008 is now off.

To make matters worse, every Monday night my boyfriend goes out with his friends, which I don't have a problem with. But he drinks too much and usually ends up being sick - which I can hear, would be ok but I'm terrified of sick and anything related to it. I've tried talking to him about it but he just thinks I'm nagging.

My anxiety is just getting the better of me know and its going to end up tearing us apart. He's getting fed up of me always having anxiety attacks, and due to these me being tired a lot, and show no intrest in anything anymore. I just get up, go to work, lose myself in TV and go to sleep.

I just don't feel I can handle anything anymore, I just want to go home to my parents and curl up in my old room forever.

[domino]

Maybe this is what,s needed, you sound sooo fed up, and you say that your boyfriend says your just nagging, i would have a break for a while and see how things go. if it,s meant to be it will be.:hugs: hope these are some comfort to you.

[hoppipolla]

:(

sometimes it can be like a downward spiral, i have found that recently and if you are in a daily routine that you don't like now (as you described) then that will kinda cause things to get worse just like me spending too much time at home and stuff has caused my anxiety to get worse.

maybe you could take some time now that the weather is picking up to go out and sit out in the sun somewhere you feel comfortable (maybe somewhere natural and relaxing) to reflect on your life at the moment and try to regain some focus and see things in a clearer way. Being away from it all for a while might help you to see this from outside and a bit objectively, so you can make a better decision about where to take things.

i don't know, maybe it's silly :) it's just, i feel that life can trap me inside it and sometimes you need to escape. Good luck anyway :)

[RachelC]

you got to keep pushing hun, when i first came to Ireland all I ever thought about was curling up in my old room back home, but thats why I came here. I dont want to live and die in that room- we've got to get out somehow. Youre living your life right now and thats something to be proud of, at least your not hiding anymore. Its new and scary right now, thats whats making you long for the familiar, but it will get better the more you get used to it.

As for your boyfriend- youve got to work on that issue now of him just thinking you are nagging or it will only get worse. I wish I knew how to tell you what to do, lol, but its a tricky one. Anxiety is hard for people to understand. Like rickards says if he loves you he will understand.

Hope you are doing ok :hugs:be proud of yourself!

[cattttt]

If your boyfriend is so insensitive to your problem, how about being out when he comes back and starts being sick? Maybe you could go to your parents for that night or something, or if they are too far away a friends house.
He needs to understand how much it upsets you, and if just telling doesn't work you need to take some action.

[franfhm]

Thanks guys, I feel a lot better today, must have been getting that off my chest last night!!!

As for my bf, well I've told him that if he does come home in a state then I'm going back to my parents, as they aren't that far away. At least in our new house I'll be able to confine him to the ground floor when he comes home steaming drunk lol.

I am getting better with handling it, but usually when he's been out all night I end up being anxious which makes it worse, I guess it just depends on the day.

I can't wait to get outside a bit more now that the evenings are getting lighter :yesyes: