Update from me possible blip

[Andy1718]

Hi guys not posted for a while but thought I would share my progress.
I am now back to work on a somewhat reduced timetable. Still taking 20mg and 20mg propranolol when at school. The school has reduced my timetable somewhat but it's hard with new groups and few cover staff. My timetable is pretty bad and I am now head of department. The paper work and monitoring is incredible. So I was doing ok. However last night I slept bad, shallow breath and for the first time was thinking about work in my sleep just the place I didn't want to be. I have managed training days and briefing meetings which is amazing for me. Got loads of anxiety today and adrenaline in arms, the first time for at least a month. Really unsure about this profession now, trying to take each day as it comes and see where we go. Maybe it's not my personal anxiety that I thought I was born with maybe it's the job and profession. I guess another blip I am
Hoping.

[Qualified_Survivor]

If your chosen career is making you so ill then maybe it is time to take a good hard look at where you are?
I was in a similar position to you. A career in the City which was making me ill and unhappy. I was earning stupid amounts of money but I felt trapped, suffocated and depressed. It suddenly dawned on me that my career had come about through family expectations and was not my choice at all. In my early 30's I ditched everything and became a gardener. Everyone was shocked and some thought I was just running away but I stopped feeling depressed and suffering debilitating panic attacks. It worked for me and I became a bloody good gardener and enjoyed every moment.

[Andy1718]

Thanks. So did feel over whelmed yesterday's but kept playing my mantra. Feel the fear and do it. Went to a meeting again. Spoke out twice. Felt ok after a few hours at work. Amazing how the thought out ways the reality. Feeling the same this morning and it is certainly stress mixed with anxiety. Hoping that if I keep
Doing it it will get better over time.