kelbob
27-03-07, 16:43
Well, Heres my story, Ive never told it to you before even though ive been on here a while! :)
Well, It all started in October 2005, I had just started high school. I was 11 years old and so excited about my new school.
I had some great new friends and life felt great!
But then one day, I started feeling really breathless and dizzy in my last lesson, I felt shaky and scared, but I didn’t no why.
So I tried to keep my mind off it by staring out of the window, daydreaming, the lesson seemed to drag and it was my last lesson on a Friday!
My breathing gradually worsened and I thought it was asthma, I couldn’t keep still and no one noticed, I never told thought, because I didn’t want to cause a fuss, and from that day on, I have panic attacks.
About a while after my 1st panic attack, I was stood out of class having another one, but I really couldn’t control it, I felt so helpless and angry at myself. So, I started punching the wall and scratching my hands until it bled, you probably will think, ‘I bet that hurt’ but it didn’t, I felt relief and in control again, and soon my breathing calmed down.
Since that day, I have been self harming on/off.
Then, in about May/June 2005, I attempted suicide for the 1st time, because my mum and dad were being told that I self harm and feel suicidal, I felt really guilty, but I still attempted it in the school toilets, then as I was doing in, my teacher found me and burst into tears, that was the worse day of my life, and her look on face…It was awful, I felt so guilty.
Since that first suicide attempt, I have attempted suicide about 7 times and I still have panic attacks and self harm.
When I first told my teacher that I self harm, I felt so relieved, and the way she reacted determined everything else, if she would of reacted badly or shouted at me, I probably would have been dead now, but luckily, she was understanding and supportive, we click so well and I talk to her a lot.
Yeh, I still have problems, like I have eating problems, and problems in my past, which only certain people no about, but I AM gonna get better and I AM gonna keep fighting.
If anyone would like to ask me anything then just PM me. :)
Thanks for listening..:flowers:
Well, It all started in October 2005, I had just started high school. I was 11 years old and so excited about my new school.
I had some great new friends and life felt great!
But then one day, I started feeling really breathless and dizzy in my last lesson, I felt shaky and scared, but I didn’t no why.
So I tried to keep my mind off it by staring out of the window, daydreaming, the lesson seemed to drag and it was my last lesson on a Friday!
My breathing gradually worsened and I thought it was asthma, I couldn’t keep still and no one noticed, I never told thought, because I didn’t want to cause a fuss, and from that day on, I have panic attacks.
About a while after my 1st panic attack, I was stood out of class having another one, but I really couldn’t control it, I felt so helpless and angry at myself. So, I started punching the wall and scratching my hands until it bled, you probably will think, ‘I bet that hurt’ but it didn’t, I felt relief and in control again, and soon my breathing calmed down.
Since that day, I have been self harming on/off.
Then, in about May/June 2005, I attempted suicide for the 1st time, because my mum and dad were being told that I self harm and feel suicidal, I felt really guilty, but I still attempted it in the school toilets, then as I was doing in, my teacher found me and burst into tears, that was the worse day of my life, and her look on face…It was awful, I felt so guilty.
Since that first suicide attempt, I have attempted suicide about 7 times and I still have panic attacks and self harm.
When I first told my teacher that I self harm, I felt so relieved, and the way she reacted determined everything else, if she would of reacted badly or shouted at me, I probably would have been dead now, but luckily, she was understanding and supportive, we click so well and I talk to her a lot.
Yeh, I still have problems, like I have eating problems, and problems in my past, which only certain people no about, but I AM gonna get better and I AM gonna keep fighting.
If anyone would like to ask me anything then just PM me. :)
Thanks for listening..:flowers: