Wishitaway
17-09-16, 12:31
My anxiety is getting worse and worse. I spend majority of my time terrified, not of people so much but everything else. I worry (worry isn't quite the word, it's more than worry) that something awful will happen to my child whilst she is in school or out with anyone other than me, I worry that when I go travelling where going to crash and die, I worry about people talking behind my back or not liking me, I worry about the things I do when I'm out and how I come across, I worry when my partner goes to work incase he gets hurt, I worry about every damn thing that goes wrong with me. I have chest pain, so it's automatically lung cancer, I have a bad throat, that's also cancer, I have an awful headache, oh must mean that I am having a brain haemmorige.
Trust me I know these aren't rational thoughts, I know that sometimes it's normal to worry about your children but it is not normal for these thoughts to become daydreams and scenarios which then lead to my panic attack, I vision scenarios and then it becomes unbearable.
My partner doesn't understand, hell I don't understand.
I can't go to the doctors because how can I explain any of this! I feel quite insane, I feel ill and drained. I'm hiding in my house whilst I should be working and living my life, I can't do this for much longer.
Sometimes I hide and cry in my room, because I'm terrified. I'm terrified of me running everyone out of my life, I've turned into a horrible person. I can't be honest with anyone how I feel because frankly they don't care how I feel. I'm embarressed about how I feel and when people ask me to explain, I can't. There is no rationalizing these thoughts yet my brain does.
Trust me I know these aren't rational thoughts, I know that sometimes it's normal to worry about your children but it is not normal for these thoughts to become daydreams and scenarios which then lead to my panic attack, I vision scenarios and then it becomes unbearable.
My partner doesn't understand, hell I don't understand.
I can't go to the doctors because how can I explain any of this! I feel quite insane, I feel ill and drained. I'm hiding in my house whilst I should be working and living my life, I can't do this for much longer.
Sometimes I hide and cry in my room, because I'm terrified. I'm terrified of me running everyone out of my life, I've turned into a horrible person. I can't be honest with anyone how I feel because frankly they don't care how I feel. I'm embarressed about how I feel and when people ask me to explain, I can't. There is no rationalizing these thoughts yet my brain does.