Feeling so alone!

[Wishitaway]

My anxiety is getting worse and worse. I spend majority of my time terrified, not of people so much but everything else. I worry (worry isn't quite the word, it's more than worry) that something awful will happen to my child whilst she is in school or out with anyone other than me, I worry that when I go travelling where going to crash and die, I worry about people talking behind my back or not liking me, I worry about the things I do when I'm out and how I come across, I worry when my partner goes to work incase he gets hurt, I worry about every damn thing that goes wrong with me. I have chest pain, so it's automatically lung cancer, I have a bad throat, that's also cancer, I have an awful headache, oh must mean that I am having a brain haemmorige.

Trust me I know these aren't rational thoughts, I know that sometimes it's normal to worry about your children but it is not normal for these thoughts to become daydreams and scenarios which then lead to my panic attack, I vision scenarios and then it becomes unbearable.

My partner doesn't understand, hell I don't understand.
I can't go to the doctors because how can I explain any of this! I feel quite insane, I feel ill and drained. I'm hiding in my house whilst I should be working and living my life, I can't do this for much longer.

Sometimes I hide and cry in my room, because I'm terrified. I'm terrified of me running everyone out of my life, I've turned into a horrible person. I can't be honest with anyone how I feel because frankly they don't care how I feel. I'm embarressed about how I feel and when people ask me to explain, I can't. There is no rationalizing these thoughts yet my brain does.

[hanshan]

It sounds like Generalised Anxiety to me, worrying about everything, with some Health Anxiety thrown in.

Are you taking medication or getting any treatment?

[Buster70]

Hi , you don't sound like a bad person to me you sound tired and worn out I'm going though a lot of symptoms the same as you right now chest pain throat problems swallowing headaches it's a living nightmare at times I've been through it before so I'm hoping it will pass sooner rather than later , you are not insane people who are insane don't join sites like this , get to your docs and tell them exactly how you feel , therapy , cbt can help it's not a miracle cure but talking can put things in perspective , having loved ones is a worry but we have to except we can't protect them all of the time , if you can't talk to friends or family there are always people on here who will listen , take care .

[Wishitaway]

It sounds like Generalised Anxiety to me, worrying about everything, with some Health Anxiety thrown in.

Are you taking medication or getting any treatment?

I was previously diagnosed with GAD but when I fell pregnant with my youngest, I had to stop the medication and now I haven't got the courage to go face another doctor to get further treatment.

Sort of a lose, lose situation for me :(

---------- Post added at 12:05 ---------- Previous post was at 12:04 ----------


Hi , you don't sound like a bad person to me you sound tired and worn out I'm going though a lot of symptoms the same as you right now chest pain throat problems swallowing headaches it's a living nightmare at times I've been through it before so I'm hoping it will pass sooner rather than later , you are not insane people who are insane don't join sites like this , get to your docs and tell them exactly how you feel , therapy , cbt can help it's not a miracle cure but talking can put things in perspective , having loved ones is a worry but we have to except we can't protect them all of the time , if you can't talk to friends or family there are always people on here who will listen , take care .

Hello, thank you for taking the time to respond.

I think the health anxiety is the most frustrating thing for me right now and the fact that I can not sleep at night. My mother has psychosis and I worry constantly about going the same way!

Thank you xx