dont know whether to take time off work

[ladyofthehouse]

I have had intermittent anxiety and depression for a long time. I was doing ok but things started to go downhill in february. I saw a psychiatrist last week and have been diagnosed with depression and anticipatory anxiety. Although he couldnt ay it outright, he was suggestiing I take time out from work . I have worked part time for the past 17 years as an adult tutor. Our contracts of employment were stopped years ago and we are now classed as casual workers. We do not get paid during the holidays or if we are off sick.We get paid only for what we work. Despite the time spent in class itself , a lot more time is spent working at home - marking, writing handouts , paperwork. I have been on the highest dose of sertraline for about 3 years but have been on it in total for 20 years. My anxiety levels are through the roof. The Psychiatrist wants me to take time off work , withdraw from sertraline and go on citaploram. I have a lot of other medical problems but have just dealt with them as best I can. I cry a lot , my stomach churns all the time and I just want to curl up into a little ball in the corner. I dont know whether my bosses would have me back if I go off sick and the likelyhood is I wont get any more employment until the next academic year which will be next september. I'm not entitled to any benefits as my husband works full time. I am caught between a rock and a hard place. I dont feel up to the stresses of teaching but am possibly looking at the prospect of never getting another job as I'm 60 years old. I dont know whether to try and "tough it out" at work or risk unemployment. i am so very , very depressed worrying about it all

[sidiam]

Hello,
I know how you feel, I am 10 yrs. older than you but started to go downhill when I was 58.
Would it be possible to take "holiday" time off, to withdraw from the sertraline and start the citalopram. Your doctor sounds ok and has some understanding of how you feel. Would you be able to manage if your husband was the only breadwinner.
You sound as if you won't be able to cope much longer and I can't advise you but if you don't get this sorted it will get worse and then you will have to take time off.
Think of yourself and I hope you can make a decision.
take care
Sxx

[ladyofthehouse]

Thank you so much for replying. I am in an odd position because , technically, I dont have to submit a sick note as I'm classed as self employed. I want to submit one a) as a matter of curtesy and b) in the hopes I may be re-employed next year. My gp's are in a practice and my appointment for my own gp is for a week on Tuesday. I dont want to let the students down but I cant see an way out of this. The psychiatrist said I must "put myself first". Thats very hard to do when you have a lot of people relying on you.I'm due in class tomorrow morning . Dreading it. I'm hoping I can get an emergency appointment with another doctor this tuesday morning and get a weeks sick note instead of waiting another week before I see my own GP. By rights I should speak to my employers but I dread that . I'm hoping to send emails to my managers as I really cant face speaking to people at the moment. I'm terrified of swapping the drugs over but it looks like I dont have a choice. Once again, thank you so much for taking the time out to respond. I reaally appreciate it

[PunkyFish]

I have had intermittent anxiety and depression for a long time. I was doing ok but things started to go downhill in february. I saw a psychiatrist last week and have been diagnosed with depression and anticipatory anxiety. Although he couldnt ay it outright, he was suggestiing I take time out from work . I have worked part time for the past 17 years as an adult tutor. Our contracts of employment were stopped years ago and we are now classed as casual workers. We do not get paid during the holidays or if we are off sick.We get paid only for what we work. Despite the time spent in class itself , a lot more time is spent working at home - marking, writing handouts , paperwork. I have been on the highest dose of sertraline for about 3 years but have been on it in total for 20 years. My anxiety levels are through the roof. The Psychiatrist wants me to take time off work , withdraw from sertraline and go on citaploram. I have a lot of other medical problems but have just dealt with them as best I can. I cry a lot , my stomach churns all the time and I just want to curl up into a little ball in the corner. I dont know whether my bosses would have me back if I go off sick and the likelyhood is I wont get any more employment until the next academic year which will be next september. I'm not entitled to any benefits as my husband works full time. I am caught between a rock and a hard place. I dont feel up to the stresses of teaching but am possibly looking at the prospect of never getting another job as I'm 60 years old. I dont know whether to try and "tough it out" at work or risk unemployment. i am so very , very depressed worrying about it all

Hi :)

It sound's like a very difficult decsion to make. I sometimes feel that your health should come first before anything including work, however I also know that people need money as well. Is there anyway maybe you could drop your hour's or take a lesser workload on? Is there anyway that you could talk to your employer about what is going on with your health as they may be very understanding.

All the best.

[sidiam]

Thank you so much for replying. I am in an odd position because , technically, I dont have to submit a sick note as I'm classed as self employed. I want to submit one a) as a matter of curtesy and b) in the hopes I may be re-employed next year. My gp's are in a practice and my appointment for my own gp is for a week on Tuesday. I dont want to let the students down but I cant see an way out of this. The psychiatrist said I must "put myself first". Thats very hard to do when you have a lot of people relying on you.I'm due in class tomorrow morning . Dreading it. I'm hoping I can get an emergency appointment with another doctor this tuesday morning and get a weeks sick note instead of waiting another week before I see my own GP. By rights I should speak to my employers but I dread that . I'm hoping to send emails to my managers as I really cant face speaking to people at the moment. I'm terrified of swapping the drugs over but it looks like I dont have a choice. Once again, thank you so much for taking the time out to respond. I reaally appreciate it

I can imagine you don't want to let your pupils down but if you had a broken leg or even influenza, something everyone "understands" you would have to take time off.
If you don't do something it will only get worse and take longer for you to get back to where you want to be.
If you are so afraid to talk to your employers (tho' they might surprise you) send emails...
Your specialist has a good reason to tell you to take it easier and take some time off. Definitely the best idea if you are changing meds.
I really hope you can get something sorted out but really think you shouldn't go to work tomorrow.
I've been there and done all this and you really must put yourself first. Difficult, I know, I am still struggling with "setting limits and learning to say NO" but I am improving.
good luck,
take care
Sxx :hugs:

[ladyofthehouse]

After a LOT of soul searching I sent an email to my employers. I explained I had depression and anxiety and that I couldnt come into work. I apologised for the situation and asked them would they consider re-employing me when I get better. I feel I took the cowards way out emailing but I also wanted to lett them know before the students are due in tomorrow so they can access their databases and ring or text the students before the morning. Their work phones are turned off at 5 and at weekends but I knew there was a chance of them looking at their emails. One of my bosses replied. He said simply "seen the email. I wish you a speedy recovery". I dont know whether or not Ive done the right thing, but I think Ive done the only thing I can . With the best will in the world I think it would only be a matter of time before I got worse with the pressure .

[sidiam]

After a LOT of soul searching I sent an email to my employers. I explained I had depression and anxiety and that I couldnt come into work. I apologised for the situation and asked them would they consider re-employing me when I get better. I feel I took the cowards way out emailing but I also wanted to lett them know before the students are due in tomorrow so they can access their databases and ring or text the students before the morning. Their work phones are turned off at 5 and at weekends but I knew there was a chance of them looking at their emails. One of my bosses replied. He said simply "seen the email. I wish you a speedy recovery". I dont know whether or not Ive done the right thing, but I think Ive done the only thing I can . With the best will in the world I think it would only be a matter of time before I got worse with the pressure .

I think you have done the right thing, now you can concentrate on getting better. It is not like the flu, it takes patience and "hard work". Do you have a good psychiatrist, someone who you can talk to who doesn't just give out prescriptions? Do you see anyone else?
Try to stop stressing about the fact you have taken time off, you had no other choice, I think you know that.
You need to build up your "reserves" and find the strength to at least be able to cope.
Look after yourself.
I know it sounds selfish, it has taken me a long time to learn to try and set limits and boundaries. I still find it difficult but it does help.
take care
Sxx

[Debs21uk]

Hi Lady,

I think you have done the right thing, the priority right now is you and your health. I have depression and anxiety and my latest episode is one of the deepest I have ever had mainly because I have worked myself to the point of breakdown. Like you I am in the process of changing medication as mine seems to have stopped working, this in itself needs time for you to adjust and to adapt to.

The most valuable lesson I have learnt this time is to stop doing so much and put myself first. I too am off work and have been for a few months, my priority right now is to focus on myself and my mental health. Don't be too hard on yourself as Sidiam says if you broke your leg or had pneumonia you'd need time off work.

Feel free to pm me if you want to chat further X