View Full Version : Feel like I'm losing my mind
So, I don't really know why I'm posting. I feel trapped and feel like I'm losing it. What started in July as having panic attacks and quite severe anxiety has led me to today. I was originally on Sertraline 100mg for anxiety. Today I am on Mirtazapine, sertraline, diazepam and 3 days into venlafaxine. I am cross tapering from sertraline to ven. I just want to curl up a give in. My brain is so full of drugs I don't know what I'm feeling. I don't know if what I'm feeling is withdrawal from one ore the start up from another. My moods are everywhere. I feel like I don't feel anything anymore. I don't know what to do. I don't want to take all these pills, but I don't want to get even worse without them. My anxiety is sky high, even the Valium doesn't touch. I feel so scared. I don't really know what to do? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. I'm really struggling at the moment. Tracy
I hope you feel better
:hugs:
---------- Post added at 09:05 ---------- Previous post was at 08:58 ----------
wish I could help more
It is hell, starting a new med. and withrawing from an old one. What dose of Valium do you take. Can you take a higher dose to give you some peace, it is only for short term...?
I hope you have people to talk to and give you support,
wish i could help,
take care
Sxx:hugs:
Thanks Beth! Just feel really lost at the moment.
Have you slept all? Hope everything is okay at the doctors. Wish I could give you a big hug right now. We both need it I think. Let me know how you go. :bighug1:
---------- Post added at 18:52 ---------- Previous post was at 18:43 ----------
Hi Sidiam! Thank you so much. I take 2mg three times daily. I take one in the am, one about 4pm and one with the Mirtazapine at night as I'm going to sleep. I try to keep the midday one for as long as I can drag it out incase I have really bad anxiety, so maybe about 4 I take it. My family are very supportive and they do everything they can. It is hard for anyone to help when the are not inside your head if you know what I mean. I have already been on it for about two weeks, started then when I started the taper from Sert. Have you withdrawn and started a new one before. Thank you again for your lovely words. To know someone else has had trouble with a similar thing helps. Tracy :hugs:
No I havent slept at all. Very scared at the moment
---------- Post added at 09:31 ---------- Previous post was at 09:30 ----------
:hugs:
---------- Post added at 09:32 ---------- Previous post was at 09:31 ----------
Feel better
:hugs:
I really do feel for you and hope things get better very soon.
I am on Mertazapine 15mg on day 15 after trying combinations of 7.5mg and weaning off as I didn't think I was getting any better.
Felt completely flat since about middle of July and just not getting any better yet.
You are not alone and there are lots of people here that will give you plenty of support and friendly words.
Go and see your GP as soon as you can and explain the current situation to them or ask for a phone appointment.
Some of your feelings I can relate to myself, so you are not alone.
I woke up feeling worse than normal this morning and my mind a bit confused, but better when I started moving around.
It is a damn hard slog to beat this thing but you will get there in the end.
My thoughts and best wishes go out to you Mermaid16. :bighug1:
Thanks Tony! Yes, I was going along quite nicely in life and now all hell has broken loose. I'm in Aust so our health system is a bit different to yours I think. I have a psych appointment for Wednesday arvo so will see what we can do. I do understand that he is trying to get me better as quickly as possible, but just don't think my brain is coping with the drop this and increase that. It's almost like it's not sure if it's coming or going. I use Mirtazapine only for sleep, it doesn't do much else I don't think. The doc thought it would help cover some of the serotonin when I start tapering the Sertraline. I hope your situation also improves. Do you take any other meds? it takes so long for anything to work and then if it doesn't you have to start all over again. Thanks again for your reply. :hugs:
I don't know about you Tracy, but only way I could find this thread was by clicking on my own name or someone else in this thread to see the posts.
Some threads just get buried and hard to find.
I have had episodes of anxiety and depression since the early 90's, but have always come out of it back to my normal happy go lucky self.
It has never been easy but only ever been on one med at a time, although on the last occasion back in 2012, ven was just not working, although it had worked on two previous times.
There is a very good ven thread started by pinkdove, still going , which helped me out a lot back in 2012-13.
The strangest thing happened to me back then, which I just thought was a miracle cure at the time when I was at my lowest ebb.
I was just not getting any better on Ven and my Doctor told me to stop taking Ven and 5 days later start on my new med which was Mertazapine 15mg.
I felt so much better virtually straight away.
Here is my post that I wrote at that time, and I've been fine since then until mid July.
What I'm getting at is that something like this can happen, but we all will eventually come out of this anxiety /depression, back to our old self with self help, positive thinking and usually meds.
I am very anti-meds , but after about 6 occasions I have not been able to do it without medication, although I have really tried.
Anyway, what I'm saying Tracy is that there is a rainbow after the storm , and you and me, will get better for sure. :bighug1:
Hi Venny pals,
only visited this thread twice and very quiet today .Must be the forthcoming weather.Snow and ice gonna be all over the place says the weather experts.
See what happens in the morning when I look out the bedroom window.
Feeling realy good today and done things I could have only had dreams about doing 10 days ago.
Booked 3 return flights to Spain up till October and a holiday in Tunisia leaving on Sunday,weather permitting.
These are things I would find very easy in my 'normal' mode.The last 7 or 8 months I would not have even thought of having do do that. I would be overcome with fear and anxiety about anything and everything involved in it.
Ven is a great AD that has worked for me and will work for all of us who have gradually got better. I think I was just kidding myself and forcing myself to think that it would get better ,but I am so glad that myself and my GP realised it wasn't going to happen.
Mertazapine 15 mg is the one for me this time,and I feel so upbeat and confident it will . I can honestly say today I am 95% of my normal self.
Best wishes to all of you on Ven or weaning off ,after feeling better on it.
I am realy enjoying life now after a real turnaround in just the last 10 days.Never happened to me before like this and gives great hope that if this awful illness happens again to me,I will get back to my normal ,happy,outgoing ,cheerful,friendly personality again .No doubts about that at all.
I have got 'me' back again and not the frightened,worried,introvert person I had become.
I am now going to live my life and realy enjoy it. :yahoo:
Hi Tracy,
Sorry to hear you're feeling rough, I'm feeling a bit worse today myself. I feel jittery, so tired and really unmotivated. My mind has been quite negative and it's at times like this you just think 'this isn't going to work for me'. I have to remind myself it's really early days and unfortunately it's going to be a bumpy ride.
I know my back up plan is escitalopram as I was adamant that if I had a really bad reaction to this I wanted a plan in place as I couldn't wait another month before I could see my psych again for a decision to be made.
Stay strong and I know how you feel xxx
Mermaid seems like a lot of drugs you're on? I've never taken any so I have no idea how much is usual :)
Shazamataz
19-09-16, 22:18
Sorry things are so bad Tracy, I've been in some pretty bad states myself with mucking about with meds and it's just awful.
It's hard to know what to do. I'd definitely say not to increase the diazepam if you can avoid it. You've said it's already not doing anything and so upping the dose may soon be ineffective also and then you have to wean off. I say this from experience as I was using diazepam when starting up on SSRIs and ended up tolerant to it so it wasn't doing anything. I still have to wean off my last 2mg and only taking it to avoid withdrawals as opposed to getting any benefit.
With regard to the other meds. I'd say stick with it as you absolutely had to make a change from the sertraline. I've found ven to work pretty well and had few side effects compared to the SSRIS which I actually believe drove me crazy as I went from having panic attacks but feeling normal in between, to 24/7 anxiety and it's taken months to settle this down.
Use all the support you can and be as gentle on yourself as you can. Just day by day. Maybe you could take some time off to let things settle?
xoxo
Tracy PM ok
---------- Post added at 22:38 ---------- Previous post was at 21:22 ----------
Well I really hope you feel better, you are always there for me, so if you need anything let me know. You are an awesome person Tracy and a great mom. I really hope you feel better soon. Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Beth
Thanks everyone! I am feeling a bit better this morning. Just my moods change every five minutes and I had a bit of a panic last night (probably not the first or last time it will happen). Thanks again. Shaz thanks so much for your message. xx
Well I just got up to get a drink and fainted! I'm hoping it was the fact I got up too quick and nothing to do with the ven. :huh:
Med changes can be hard I am sorry you guys are feeling so crappy.
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:hugs:
Shazamataz
20-09-16, 02:11
Well I just got up to get a drink and fainted! I'm hoping it was the fact I got up too quick and nothing to do with the ven. :huh:
Hi Debs, not god about the fainting! But I did notice I had a lot of dizziness about 5-9 hours after taking the ven. Funny enough 5-9 hours is when it's at it's peak in your system! Good news is it wore off after a few weeks. Hope this is the same for you!
I think I remember that from when i was on it, I believe it went away.
It's strange as I didn't feel dizzy I just got up and next thing everything went black. I've a habit for fainting since I have low blood pressure so I think it'll just be getting up too quickly. Just need to be a bit more careful!
Low blood pressure can do it.
Shaz, just out of interest, what time do you take yours? Is it morning or night. Also did you get insomnia from it. Since I've started taking it, I've been waking at 4.00am
---------- Post added at 12:11 ---------- Previous post was at 12:07 ----------
Well I just got up to get a drink and fainted! I'm hoping it was the fact I got up too quick and nothing to do with the ven. :huh:
Glad you are okay Debs. Must have scared the crappers out of you. Are you still eating normal or have you lost your appetite? I have some Nutri grain with my tablet and then a banana during the day and then dinner. I used to crave sweet stuff with the Mirt but the thought of it makes me queasy now. I feel like just bland stuff.
I seem to be the exact opposite I am sleeping loads. I'm still eating and I haven't had any nausea which is good plus I make sure I eat when I take it. I am a renowned fainter Whether it's through lack of food or low blood pressure. I had been lying down so I think it's the blood pressure thing. I have been getting chills on and off which is weird.
Shazamataz
20-09-16, 22:13
Heya, I take mine at lunchtime. No medical reason for that, just that on the day I started it I didn't want to take it before I walked the dogs in case I had a bad reaction. I really noticed feeling woozy and dizzy from almost exactly 5 hours after taking it until 9 hours.
I don't think it affected my sleep as that was already bad. But it really has helped with anxiety. Not perfect, but I still have a lot of room to increase if needs be.
Had no nausea either which is a lot different from how I was on sertraline and citalopram.
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