I'm a mess.....

[scaredinchicago]

I am currently 44 years old. All my life I have experienced anxiety for countless different reasons. Now as an adult, married and with a daughter I feel that this monster trapped in my head is really taking control over my life. It is unbearable! Everything for me is an emergency and a worst case scenario. First it was 6 years ago with the normal fluctuations in newborns. I was always monitoring my daughter's development and making sure she was hitting all her milestones. I would also measure her head on a frequent basis as I thought she had a small had and that is never good (everything was normal. it was just in my head). Then she crawled funny and I thought she had cerebral palsy (again everything was ok). Then she stuttered a little when she started learning to talk (she is bilingual and it was just her struggling with two languages). Then she had surgery to remove the adenoids and tonsils as she had sleep apnea (everything turned out fine). Shortly after that I had a heart arrhytmia episode that sent me to the hospital and after that my life has never been the same. Ever since my heart scare 2 years ago my anxiety has skyrocketed and I have gotten countless of symptoms. I believe that I have MS, lupus, colon cancer, kidney failure and heart failure. I have been a mess these last 2 years. I want my life back but I do not know how to get there. I'm blessed with a very loving and understanding wife but I fear that one of these days she will get tired of my craziness.

I just wanted to vent off. Thank you for reading me.

Salud!

[Buster70]

Hi there , you are not alone in your craziness I'm of similar age and I too desperately want my old life back , each day can be a living nightmare , I don't have a cure but we live in hope and having family you just have to get up each day and do the best you can to get through and try and get better , there are lots on here in the same situation and just reading other threads makes you realise you are not alone , take care .

[scaredinchicago]

Hi there , you are not alone in your craziness I'm of similar age and I too desperately want my old life back , each day can be a living nightmare , I don't have a cure but we live in hope and having family you just have to get up each day and do the best you can to get through and try and get better , there are lots on here in the same situation and just reading other threads makes you realise you are not alone , take care .

Thank you for your supporting words. I really want my old self back but it's nowhere to be found.

[Hopeyet]

The same goes for a lot of us on here, I suspect.

One random tip I would give is to try and recognise the good times. When my healthy anxiety is really bad it can be down to literally minutes between bouts of worry. Instead of thinking "oh god, it's back again" when the next one comes I now try to congratulate myself on making it for 10 minutes - or however long - since the last negative thought. It sounds desperately corny, but it seems to help - highlighting that there is some respite in between.

[scaredinchicago]

The same goes for a lot of us on here, I suspect.

One random tip I would give is to try and recognise the good times. When my healthy anxiety is really bad it can be down to literally minutes between bouts of worry. Instead of thinking "oh god, it's back again" when the next one comes I now try to congratulate myself on making it for 10 minutes - or however long - since the last negative thought. It sounds desperately corny, but it seems to help - highlighting that there is some respite in between.

Thanks for the tip mate! I will start using it immediately.