anxamillion
20-09-16, 12:45
Hey all,
Just need to get this down, so its out there!
Many years ago I suffered with anxiety - it literally kicked off with starting senior school, Id been pretty badly bullied in my last year of primary and I was dreading starting seniors. It kicked of with Disassociation, the episodes were brief and it was fairly short lasting, about six weeks. It was the scariest time of a 12 year old boys life.
I never seen those feelings again, until I was about 25 I was wrongly arrested, those couple of hours trapped in a cell were the worst of my life and brought anxiety hurtling back, this time is was panic focused surrounding trapped situations. I got it undercontrol but never really let go of the fear.
This year some 18 years later, there was a mess up with my bank account, they had accidently transferred a large amount of money into my account. I hadnt had a statement so had no idea it was there, out of the blue a letter arrived from the bank (its a standard letter but I didnt find this out till a little later) the letter made me feel like I did something wrong, it mentioned involvement of the police - as soon as I read that sentence my mind went into overdrive, I was back in that police cell again ... Boom Disassociation kicked in.
Ive spent the last year so heavily focused on the fear of DA that I feel like Im going round in circles with it, I just cant get straight with it. I struggle to talk about the symptoms because saying it outloud makes it worse, Im in constant panic mode and I just feel 'disconnected' and so alone, which couldnt be further from the truth, I have an understanding and supportive wife, a great family and a counsellor. My GP has also referred me to a Psychologist, although it looks like I could be waiting upto 4 months for that. Feeling hopeless, scared and lost :(
Just need to get this down, so its out there!
Many years ago I suffered with anxiety - it literally kicked off with starting senior school, Id been pretty badly bullied in my last year of primary and I was dreading starting seniors. It kicked of with Disassociation, the episodes were brief and it was fairly short lasting, about six weeks. It was the scariest time of a 12 year old boys life.
I never seen those feelings again, until I was about 25 I was wrongly arrested, those couple of hours trapped in a cell were the worst of my life and brought anxiety hurtling back, this time is was panic focused surrounding trapped situations. I got it undercontrol but never really let go of the fear.
This year some 18 years later, there was a mess up with my bank account, they had accidently transferred a large amount of money into my account. I hadnt had a statement so had no idea it was there, out of the blue a letter arrived from the bank (its a standard letter but I didnt find this out till a little later) the letter made me feel like I did something wrong, it mentioned involvement of the police - as soon as I read that sentence my mind went into overdrive, I was back in that police cell again ... Boom Disassociation kicked in.
Ive spent the last year so heavily focused on the fear of DA that I feel like Im going round in circles with it, I just cant get straight with it. I struggle to talk about the symptoms because saying it outloud makes it worse, Im in constant panic mode and I just feel 'disconnected' and so alone, which couldnt be further from the truth, I have an understanding and supportive wife, a great family and a counsellor. My GP has also referred me to a Psychologist, although it looks like I could be waiting upto 4 months for that. Feeling hopeless, scared and lost :(