paranoid-viking
20-09-16, 17:03
As I have told before I have now for 2 months been preoccupied in fear of pancreatitis. And although "symptoms" comes and goes just suddenly now I paniced with the worst fear of them all - the fear of pancreatic cancer. Why? I have some nagging pain in the back leg, both of them which I fear is a blood clot; a symptom seen in pancreatic cancer. For years I have had an unpleasant sleep apnea feeling at night; a feeling of being choked and high pulse. Now I fear it is the blod clot that has spread to the throat, chooking me. 2 weeks ago I had a repeated episode of a taste in mouth changing from blood taste to metallic to sweet. It went over and I thought no more about it. About the feeling at night; yes I have had it before but for the last 2 weeks it happens every night. For hours I wake up with the feeling I am being choked and with a sharp feeling in the lower throat; all through the night. When I wake up though that feeling is gone. So now the thought of worst case scenario is haunting me again. Once I also noticed a skin rash on a side of a stomach that felt uncomfortable. I am som scared now. I am crying actually. Thinking about writing my will and a farewell letter to the family. Asking for no flowers to the funeral. Am I crazy? Am I reading the signs to musch and creating a puzzle out of nothing? I hope so.