So far this year I've died from: [Archive]

Mrschurchill

21-09-16, 16:12

Brain cancer/tumour
A heart attack
Heart failure
Skin cancer (melanoma & basil cell)
Bowel cancer
Ovarian cancer
Lymphoma

And now it's a tumour on my spine 👍🏼

Feel like I'm winning at life! Good lord!

JosieLouise

21-09-16, 17:46

Hey, I've died from most of those too! High five!

(Well if you don't laugh you cry, right?)

nomorepanic

21-09-16, 18:11

So what does this tell you and what can you learn from it?

joecalm

21-09-16, 18:19

spacebunnyx

21-09-16, 18:24

Oh gosh I'm so with you Mrs Churchill!!

Since I've been preggas I've thought I would die from:

Stroke (to be fair I did have a condition that put me at much greater risk)
Lymphoma - (same as you on that one!)
Thyroid cancer
Throat cancer
Liver failure
Nasal cancer
Bladder cancer - babies sitting on my bladder!!!
Pre-ecampsia - I was only 14 weeks for goodness sake!
Vaginal cancer - this is ongoing but based on a tangible thing.

Before I got preggas I'd been fine for ages! I think there's a moral in there somewhere...

Mrschurchill

21-09-16, 20:03

So what does this tell you and what can you learn from it?

That I'm insanely irrational and jump to the absolute worst conclusion.

It helps with my worry at the moment because just 2 weeks ago I was SO convinced I had a brain tumour... just like now where I am SO convinced I have a tumour in my back. :scared15:

---------- Post added at 20:03 ---------- Previous post was at 18:53 ----------

Hahaha! Are you sure you're not a cat?

Maybe I am? 😂🐱

conan

22-09-16, 02:10

i've died from three melanomas, two brain tumours, and testicular cancer. meanwhile, my wife has died from ovarian cancer, stomach cancer, lymphoma, and currently has MS.

:yesyes:

Colicab85

22-09-16, 09:00

My list of dreams...

Brain Tumour
Brain Aneurysms
ALS
Parkinsons
CJD
Lung Cancer
Bowel Cancer
Back to ALS.

God its ridiculous and PATHETIC.

Minivil

22-09-16, 12:57

Oh my gosh, what have I NOT died from?

I've been completely convinced I've had:
lymphoma
melanoma
lung c
esophogeal c
stomach c
bowel c
cervical c
breast c
deep vein thrombosis
heart attack
seizures
MS
...haven't really delved into brain tumor issues, perhaps I should? ;)

paranoid-viking

22-09-16, 13:09

Colon cancer metasised to the lungs
Pancreatic cancer
Chronic pancreatitis
Rabies(yes even that one)

Colicab85

22-09-16, 13:49

I went through a bit of a Rabies phase.

Honestly, i might aswell diagnose myself with the bubonic plague!

LittleMissAlone

22-09-16, 14:24

Flipp, didn't know it was so recent. :flowers:

Mrschurchill

22-09-16, 16:11

Last year and this year I have died from a Broken Heart.

Awwwww hugs!

BrokenGirl

22-09-16, 16:52

Reading through these posts has just made me burst out laughing!!!
As stressful as it is for us at the time, it's just ridiculous what we have diagnosed ourselves with. I have a list as long as my arm too.
I currently have cancer in 3 different places, don't know how i'm still walking around :yesyes:

paranoid-viking

22-09-16, 18:00

I went through a bit of a Rabies phase.

Honestly, i might aswell diagnose myself with the bubonic plague!

Godd to se I am not alone in this crazynes. Did you panick when seeing water? I did. When we are paranid our mind is playing constant dirty tricks on us.

sarahsarah

22-09-16, 19:07

You're in good company here. I've listed before all the things I have been dying from over the years so I won't bore you, needless to say I am still here and remarkably healthy considering.

You will get through this. This will pass. Promise xx

Leafers

22-09-16, 19:58

I've died from

Leukemia
Hodgkins Lymphoma
Melanoma
Lung Cancer
Thyroid Cancer
In the process of dying of Nonhodgkin's Lymphoma.

Even though anxiety is my only illness, a part of me doesn't know that.
When I think I'm in remission from anxiety, I relapse and "catch" another illness. Wonder whats next?

sarahsarah

22-09-16, 20:28

My recent fixation was syphilis because of an unexplained period of illness (probably a virus) 8 years ago. Even though nothing else matched, the dates I could have contracted it, not even the symptoms if I am honest, I was convinced I had it. I basically spent two months believing I was about to develop tertiary syphillis, even though I hadn't had stage one and only by a stretch of the imagination (which I am very good at) could I have had stage 2.

In the end I took a blood test by post which I ordered online and sent off. Result- negative.

Mrschurchill

22-09-16, 22:57

It is ridiculous reading all of these - but the scary part is that it's truly real for us. It's knowing how to switch that off (like an non HA person would). I can laugh now but the fear grips you and it's trying to work out how to not let it! 🤔

dale12345

23-09-16, 06:16

breast canccer
colon cancer
lung cancer throat cancer
and stomach cancer

flipp

23-09-16, 08:18

Today,nearly died from fright,bloody brown snake inside the house.:mad:.

KeeKee

23-09-16, 08:51

Today,nearly died from fright,bloody brown snake inside the house.:mad:.

And I nearly die when I see a spider. How on earth do you remove snakes from your house?!

flipp

23-09-16, 09:18

With a double barrel shot gun:mad:or in our case RUN..

LittleWorried

23-09-16, 15:16

Melanoma
Cervical Cancer (abnormal pap and cyst)
Kidney cancer (they found a complex cyst)
Liver cancer (a 4 cm lesion on my kidney was found during kidney CT)
ALS (this is my current one)

Have an EMG in the US ($750) done privately this Tuesday.

Mrschurchill

07-10-16, 10:17

I'm back to dying of Brain Cancer again.... although it's obviously masked as a tension headache! :doh:

Colicab85

07-10-16, 11:01

I'm back to dying of ALS MND, i have twitching in my legs and my left thigh muscle looks "weird".

It's truly pathetic.

Mrschurchill

07-10-16, 14:18

That's a great word to describe is Colicab85 - It is pathetic!

Yet we are still here and still want to believe it!

unsure_about_this

07-10-16, 15:20

testicular cancer, all what it turned out to be some cysts

oral cancer, worried about this white spot/mark etc, ulcer, cyst whatever it is. It popped up two days ago I have had cold and think it is an oral cancer.

being single

I also fear I have at least 200 other cancers, including most worrying the types only females can get, which i know is impossible being a male

Mrschurchill

09-10-16, 09:31

Anyone else feel like they will never been rid of HA?

unsure_about_this

09-10-16, 09:41

No chance, I am getting some help though to help my anxiety, I worried about every mark, lump and symptom that it is something bad.

Leah88

09-10-16, 11:31

Pancreatic cancer
Osteosarcoma
Acral melanoma
Genetic default diseases which cause premature aging and death.
Glioblastoma.

Jem21

09-10-16, 13:53

HIV, died of this twice, even though I've been with the same partner forever. It was flu!
TMJ - didn't think I was going to die but I'd be stuck miserable forever! It was tension.
Diabetes. Done this one a few times.
Mine are more illnesses that will impact my quality of life and scare me that they will make me miserable!

Only thing I've had I didn't have anxiety about was a lump on my foot is had for 3 years! Turned out to be an extremely rare sarcoma! You couldn't make it up lol.

Currently back on the TMJ and allergies road! Plus kidneys!

Hypo

10-10-16, 07:06

I am currently 'dying' of heart failure.
Possible vaginal prolapse.
My lip is a different colour at the sides- this means they are purple because I'm not getting enough oxygen due to my heart.
Pretty sure the red mark under my lip is a basal cancer.

Currently in CBT again and working hard but i'm worse than ever. Hoping it is because I'm tackling safety behaviours and it gets worse before it gets better.

---------- Post added at 07:06 ---------- Previous post was at 07:04 ----------

I also fear I have at least 200 other cancers, including most worrying the types only females can get, which i know is impossible being a male

:D:D

I'm sorry but that made me laugh and I really needed to laugh this morning.

With you, not at you.

Mrschurchill

10-10-16, 10:38

I've just booked my dream holiday to Florida, flying out 7 months today, and all I'm thinking is, hurry up and get travel insurance incase I am diagnosed with XYZ and won't be able to go!

unsure_about_this

10-10-16, 12:16

We got a cruise book for January but I am scared that I got 200 types of cancer, included the one I am currently worried about

meche

10-10-16, 14:12

I refuse to die anymore but when my anxiety was really bad I had terminal everything - brain tumours & MS were my thing! Yet still I managed to work full-time, go to fitness classes, go on holiday, socialise & generally live a 'normal' life. Our minds are our own worst enemy & will/can convince you of anything. When it all gets too much just read back on this thread and see how ludicrous it all is. xx

ServerError

10-10-16, 14:15

I've just booked my dream holiday to Florida, flying out 7 months today, and all I'm thinking is, hurry up and get travel insurance incase I am diagnosed with XYZ and won't be able to go!

Just so you know, you absolutely can be rid of health anxiety. It's an easy journey, but it's a rewarding one. Don't give up.

Sefton

10-10-16, 23:38

My HA revolves around illnesses and diseases that would leave me disfigured so I tend to fixate on all the head and neck cancers and bone cancer.
In the past three months I've diagnosed myself (with Dr Google's help of course) with:
Sinus cancer - in two different sinuses.
Oral cancer - in various parts of the mouth. Lip, tongue, hard and soft palet, gums and the inside of both cheeks.
Skin cancer - basal cell on my cheek, squamous cell on my lower eyelid and melanoma on my eyeball.
I haven't googled a symptom for over a week and feel less alarmed. I am however still prodding, poking and self examining to the point I've bruised my neck feeling for a swollen lymph node that I think could have just been a shadow on a selfie I took with my head tilted right back when I was trying to see if my thyroid was swollen.
Will it ever bloody well end!

dale12345

11-10-16, 00:13

I just know I have to get better, for my daughter.

ServerError

11-10-16, 00:16

I just know I have to get better, for my daughter.

Don't put pressure on yourself. The more you do, the harder it will get. Your daughter will understand. All your daughter really needs is for you to be there, to love her and to be who you are, whatever that entails at the current moment.

Go easy on yourself.

dale12345

11-10-16, 01:04

Don't put pressure on yourself. The more you do, the harder it will get. Your daughter will understand. All your daughter really needs is for you to be there, to love her and to be who you are, whatever that entails at the current moment.

Go easy on yourself.

I know what you mean and thanks.

Mrschurchill

11-10-16, 10:46

Just so you know, you absolutely can be rid of health anxiety. It's an easy journey, but it's a rewarding one. Don't give up.

I won't give up - but it just feels like it's never gonna end! I'm in awe of everyone on here who has came out the other end. I know everyone gets blips but knowing that it doesn't rule your life would be amazing x

ServerError

11-10-16, 11:24

I just realised I missed the crucial word 'not' out of my post. I often do that - accidentally miss a word that changes the whole meaning of what I'm saying.

I assure you I meant to say it's not an easy journey!

Mrschurchill

11-10-16, 13:19

Lol I gathered! :)

I hate flying, and last night, I was telling my OH that I was already dreading the flight in 7th months... his words to me were 'Just don't think about or let it stress you' :doh: Gee why didn't I think of that!

sarahsarah

11-10-16, 18:39

I'm currently dying from heart failure and/ or lung cancer (a rare type as well, I am outdoing myself this time). Hopefully I will be able to look back on this time and smile to myself about it, like I do about most of the other imaginary fatal illnesses I have had this year alone.

Your holiday sounds wonderful, by the way xx

Mrschurchill

11-10-16, 20:15

Aw thank you Sarah! My wee girl will be 4 and a half when we go and we are all just so excited! Never been before! Xx

andrea15

20-10-16, 10:10

Just thought I would add my list of fatal illnesses I have had (in my head obviously)

Carbon Monoxide poisoning
Brain tumour
Cervical cancer
Bladder Cancer
Breast Cancer (it was a cyst)
Skin cancer
Lymphoma (lump in armpit)
Stomach cancer (reflux)
Lung cancer (every time I have a cough) - this led to an unnecessary CT which found a nodule in each lung so had to rescan every 6 months for 2 years! Eventually they decided they were intra-pulmonary lymph nodes. I even checked other peoples hands as I though my fingers were clubbing!
Stomach cancer again
Breast cancer again
Brain tumour again
Bowel cancer (this had spread to lungs and spine as per the above CT which also found a lesion in a vertibrae)
Brain tumour again
Mouth cancer (a cyst)
Lung cancer again
Currently brain tumour once more

I am sure I may have forgotten a couple as they all merge into one sometimes!

I started CBT but then had the lung scan and Wellbeing dropped me saying they couldn't help as I may actually have cancer. A private counsellor said the same thing

Why oh why oh why?

Mrschurchill

20-10-16, 10:13

I'm still on the waiting list for CBT! Been waiting 4 months already!

unsure_about_this

20-10-16, 10:21

I got therpy come up soon.

Oral Cancer still (even though I not ben to the GP) I had a phone call and I thought from my dentist and thought the reeptionist going to cancelled it, my Dad would have said something.

I keep thinking every symptom is cancer and sign etc, it is media, daily mail etc

Only once or twice I have thoguht I died from which females can only get, ovarian

andrea15

20-10-16, 10:32

There is actually stuff online where you can do it yourself - I found it last night. Might be helpful while you are waiting to get someone to talk to x

---------- Post added at 10:32 ---------- Previous post was at 10:29 ----------

I'm currently dying from heart failure and/ or lung cancer (a rare type as well, I am outdoing myself this time). Hopefully I will be able to look back on this time and smile to myself about it, like I do about most of the other imaginary fatal illnesses I have had this year alone.

Your holiday sounds wonderful, by the way xx

Hi. Every time I think I am outdoing myself, the next one seems to top it! How the heck do you stay off Google? I wish someone could give me a pill that stops you doing that as that would help far more than anti-depressants or anxiety meds!

Mrschurchill

20-10-16, 10:37

Since last night (read my last thread) I am not even an ounce worried about my headaches!

andrea15

20-10-16, 10:44

The thread about your OH? x

Mrschurchill

20-10-16, 10:47

Yep! I'm not even worrying about myself today - like at all! Damn anxiety. I dunno what's worse, worrying about me, or worrying about my loved ones! x

unsure_about_this

20-10-16, 11:48

leukoplakia mouth condition,

---------- Post added at 11:48 ---------- Previous post was at 11:15 ----------

stomach, bowel fear a cancer have spread because of abdominal pain

Mrschurchill

20-10-16, 15:32

How lucky are the people in the world who don't freak out about this stuff!

unsure_about_this

20-10-16, 20:00

diabetes (okay I drank quite a bit yesterday) with my cold, got up a few times weeing, so thought this could be diabetes, prostate or bladder canncer.

ear ache with cold, i think is an ear cancer

---------- Post added at 16:20 ---------- Previous post was at 15:52 ----------

I am scared of dying, I worked in a funeral directors when I was 18-19 on a placement, will probably come back to haunt people.

---------- Post added at 16:59 ---------- Previous post was at 16:20 ----------

I panic everything is bad

---------- Post added at 20:00 ---------- Previous post was at 16:59 ----------

dental phobia/fear working mself up, I dont like how my teeth loook I go every three months for checkups but want some of the problems fixed to make it easier for me to keep my teeth and not feel embarsssed

Mrschurchill

21-10-16, 10:12

I don't know what I am more scared of. Death itself or leaving my loved ones behind!

sophemm

22-10-16, 06:30

I don't like that there's so many people going through such a horrible time but it's nice to know I'm not alone. So far this year I've had leukaemia, breast cancer, brain aneurism/bleed on brain and then stroke, dvt and pulmonary embolism, ovarian cancer (which I'm having tests for) and now I'm back to the dvt since last night. I'm most scared of leaving my family because I have 3 small children :weep:

unsure_about_this

22-10-16, 11:22

Its a none stop party, with worry (I know it not clever)

Captain irrational

22-10-16, 14:37

I have slight cough and cold at the moment. Naturally the little voice in my head has been trying his hardest to whisper frightening things in my ear; "What if it's lung cancer?", "You had a cold just a few months back, what if your immune system is compromised?", "Remember that girl you read about who though she just had a cold but it turned out to be leukaemia?"

Sorry, little voice, but your lies just don't scare me anymore. Good effort though.

sophemm

22-10-16, 14:41

unsure_about_this

22-10-16, 19:29

male breast cancer

prostate cancer (even still in my early 30s) age 32, worried about my prostate

death by my freckles

skin failure (wait thinking about a simpsons episode) i dont know the symptoms of skin failure

Captain irrational

23-10-16, 14:41

How do you get to the point where the little voice doesn't scare you anymore? :unsure:

For me I basically learned how to de-sensitise myself to the frightening thoughts and the anxiety state itself. The thoughts still pop up from time to time and they are still unpleasant, that's only natural, but the key point is they no longer send me spiraling into that debilitating state of anxiety and panic. And that is what we should all be aiming for

I highly recommend looking up Dr Claire Weekes and the methods she developed for dealing with anxiety and panic disorders. Personally I have found her techniques to be extremely helpful in my own struggles with anxiety. Her work will explain the theory and process of de-sensitisation better than I could here.

andrea15

25-10-16, 18:57

May I ask how you did this please? I am desperate to stop the HA spiralling out of control.
Thanks

Mrschurchill

19-12-16, 16:25

Another one to add to my list!**

*unexplained illness which causes a weird sensation all over my body, fast heartrate, nausea, sweating, fatigue

Brian_VA

19-12-16, 20:50

Sphincterclench

19-12-16, 21:40

dont recall exactly where I saw it but "Ive been through some serious shit, some of it was even real"

Sums up my last couple years quite well...

Brian_VA

19-12-16, 22:45

dont recall exactly where I saw it but "Ive been through some serious shit, some of it was even real"

Sums up my last couple years quite well...

I believe your thinking of a Mark Twain quote. I've had a lot of troubles in my life, most of which never happened.

emmegee

19-12-16, 22:57

This past summer I swam in a lake and took in some water up my nose. I was convinced I was going to get "brain-eating amoeba" naegleria fowleri. There have been a few cases here in the U.S. Extremely rare and Almost always fatal within a couple weeks. That was a stressful couple of weeks after that swim.

Now I move on to ALS. :(

Mrschurchill

05-08-19, 16:56

It's been 3 longs years since I wrote this post....

This year I have died from:
Bowel Cancer (killing me now) (LOL)
Arthritis - ok it maybe can't kill me but I've thought I'd had it.
Brain Tumour - that was a fun one.

So my list is decreasing at least!! :yesyes:

Nicole0134

05-08-19, 18:04

I'm currently focused on bone cancer due to ongoing pain in my lower leg. To be fair - I've had it for 2 years or more so hoping something would have "materialised" by now....Also breast cancer due to on going breast pain - even though I had a mammogram which was clear. Plus I'm waking up every morning with a bunged up nose.....cancer in my sinus?? It's horrendous isn't it?

always scared

07-08-19, 22:15

I can so relate :weep: My biggest fear is cancer. Since December I have worried myself sick thinking I have pancreas, colon, ovarian, spine, uterus, throat, esophagus... it just goes on and on. Right now it's between ovarian and colon. I live a very sad life. Some days I can barely function and it's getting so hard to hide it from my family. I am in constant fear of a terminal illness and it's just getting worse with time.

J4min

09-08-19, 14:47

I'm in this club. Since my health anxiety began about 20 years ago I was believed I've had
Breast Cancer
Testicular cancer
Diabetes
Eagle syndrome (although still think I have this as big pointy bone sticking through my throat into tonsil)
Bowel cancer
Skin cancer
Prostate cancer
Bladder cancer
Throat cancer
Eye cancer
Bowel cancer again
Lymphoma
Myeloma or Sarcoma

It's quite a list isn't it? :(

Mrschurchill

27-02-21, 14:24

God I can’t believe it’s been nearly 4 years since I started this thread! Thought I would provide an update on my ailments for just 2021!
Oesophageal Cancer
Brain Tumour
Covid (obviously)
Sinus cancer
Skin cancer

it’s been a fun 2 months of the year so far! ��*♀️

Kuraimoar

27-02-21, 23:43

This will be pathetic but in my 7 years of HA I have died of
Lymphoma
Breast Cancer
Leukemia
Heart attack
Stroke
Lung cancer
Cervical cancer
MS
And I have also briefly thought I had some early form of dementia

Thank God I finally saw a doctor who basically cleared me and told me I am very healthy besides some very slightly high cholesterol. HA is so horrible 😔

WiredIncorrectly

28-02-21, 01:07

I've died from a heart attack every day. It sucks.

Kuraimoar

28-02-21, 01:52

I've died from a heart attack every day. It sucks.
Yeah I thought I was having a heart attack every day for months. It's so physically and mentally draining. I hope you are able to overcome it. Have you had any tests done?

WiredIncorrectly

01-03-21, 19:10

Yeah I thought I was having a heart attack every day for months. It's so physically and mentally draining. I hope you are able to overcome it. Have you had any tests done?

Yeah lots of tests. Lots of wasted ambulance calls. I've had this worry almost 20 years now. Sometimes it goes, sometimes it comes back.

Tindra

15-03-21, 19:36

Have been relapsing like crazy the last few months, so this year specifically I've died from:

-Heart attack/failure (a classic)
-Mouth cancer
-Sepsis
-Probably other things I don't even remember rn
-And currently 'dying' from a stomach ulcer (?) (;w;)b

Mrschurchill

16-03-21, 23:33

Lolalee1

17-03-21, 09:51

A Broken Heart.:weep:

Mrschurchill

08-05-21, 19:23

A Broken Heart.:weep:

im sorry to hear that :weep:

mark212312

08-05-21, 19:41

Had HA for 21 years and in that time;
Bowel Cancer
Kidney Cancer
Leukaemia
Lymphoma
Liver Cancer
MND
Back to Bowel Cancer
Back to MND
Sinus Cancer
Diabetes
Pancreatic Cancer - ended up having scans
Skin Cancer
Back to MND
Testicular Cancer
Back to Bowel Cancer

fizzymoon86

08-05-21, 21:35

Just in 2020/21 I’ve diagnosed myself with :

Stomach cancer
Oesophageal cancer
Liver disease
Ovarian cancer
Cervical cancer
Cauda equina syndrome
Sepsis (after actually having sepsis following childbirth)
Skin cancer
Covid when my partner had it (I did not catch it!)

Not making light of any of these diseases with my list but man it’s exhausting to have health anxiety [emoji22]

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Mrschurchill

08-05-21, 21:49

Couldn’t agree more! It is exhausting! I dread to think of the numbers of years I have spend worrying about my health. I actually think it’s worse KNOWING I have HA yet I still let it consume me when I have any sort of symptom.

darlene85

10-05-21, 03:57

I am reading this and thinking why I am doing this to myself. I feel ashamed because there are people who really have that diseases and they don't make fuss about it, I am so weak and hysterical that I can't handle the stomach bug, I was at ER last year due to that and I was shaking thinking I'll die. My heart rate was 170.

I think that HA is hardest to cure.
I had all diseases that I ever heard of.

Rluvz

10-05-21, 09:33

So far I've died from:

Brain cancer
Stomach Cancer
Colon Cancer
Lung Cancer
Esophageal Cancer
Pancreatic Cancer
Bowel Cancer

And before dying, suffering from :

IBS
GERD
Sleep Apnea
MS
Arthritis

Mrschurchill

10-05-21, 15:17

It’s funny that there is a difference between ‘dying from’ and ‘suffering from’. I’m very much in the headspace that everything is cancer and it’s already terminal. I’d much rather have a broken leg or arm yanked off :wacko:

Me180

19-05-21, 10:58

It’s so scary isn’t it. I don’t know why I jump to the worst first. Like it can’t be something small and fixable first. I loved reading this thread and made me feel a little better x

minion

19-05-21, 21:42

So far this year I have had every disease imaginable! Yes it is very exhausting and scary. I am truly grateful for the people here who always take the time to try to make me see ‘sense’. Xx

TKL04

22-05-21, 11:39

Since my HA relapsed I’ve ‘had’:

PID
Retained products
Convinced I was about to bleed to death
A prolapse

Turns out I just had an infection and needed some antibiotics which should have reassured me but now I’ve convinced myself I have:

MS
Cauda equina
Brain tumour
Spinal tumour
A brief worry on MND
Bowel cancer
Cervical cancer which has spread to my spine ��.
Pudendal neuralgia (seriously??? I didn’t even know what that was until this started).

Sounds silly when you list it all. If we had all of the illnesses we fear we do we would all be in a right state.
Still feels so real when you’re going through it.

Hugs to everyone xxx