I NEED TO QUIT DRINKING! Vicious cycle

[paranoid-viking]

OK - I have top be open about it. I have a weakness for going on a semi-bring drinking. And yet at the same time I am going through a heavy dose of helath anxiety fearing I have the alchol triggered ilness of pancreatitis. But then; getting drunk calm me down from the fear until the morning after when the helath anxiety of course gets even worsened. I am not alcoholic; I can do very well without it for longer periods and an ocasional glass of wine with a good meal. But now and then in periods of anxiety and worry I have the weakness of drinking myself silly to forget everything that is painful. And now I fear pancreatitis I know it is extremely dangerous to touch alcohol; but then it is the fear and....I dont know what to do.
I need to quit; my stomach is even sending signals it is not good for me. What to do?

[Mojo61]

Errrr.....stop?

[paranoid-viking]

I want to.

[skymaid]

sounds like you're using the booze like a tranquilizer.

see if you can try some other methods to relax (therapy/medication/cbt etc).

getting into a loop of using booze to calm you down doesnt lead anywhere good.

and "err stop" has to be the least understanding/helpful reply ive seen on here

[brucealmighty]

I really wish you well, its a matter of trying to replace alcohol with something else when you are struggling and my god its hard to do.
any form of limitation is a good start so maybe have a wine spritzer instead of full strength, or when you think you`re ready for a top up give it 10 minutes, anything really to tell yourself you`ve got some control.

sending you all the strength and good thoughts possible, it`s a battle you can win I promise.

[hanshan]

Alcoholics Anonymous has the longest proven record of self-help groups, but there are others. I don't think you have to identify as alcoholic to attend, just want to quit.

There are also meds that can be prescribed, including naltrexone, acamprosate and baclofen ( http://baclofentreatment.com/ ). None of these is a magic bullet.

In Australia, there is "dry July", when people quit for one month.

But mostly, you need to get control over your anxiety. Seek medical help for that, if you haven't already. Don't be afraid to tell your doctor everything.

[dale12345]

Never had a drinking problem, but I was married to an alcoholic for like 10 years and have several in my family. AA can be amazing as can meds for depression and anxiety all can be helpful. Also therapy can be very helpful. I hope you find something that can help, but I wish all the best. http://www.aa.org/ can be a good start.

[paranoid-viking]

And today the regrets creeps in. Anxiety is worse than for a long time; my stomach is bloated and I feel a slight pain aswell; fearing that this is the last step before I wake up at night with murderous pain and a rush to ER to confirm it is pancreatic cancer - all this goes through my mind: in fact I am crying. The fear worsens the day after drinking as well. It is three days to the ultrasound test. This is torturous. And I can not stop googling nightmare stories about pancreatic cancer. Everyone says only old people gets it; but the people in videos online are relatively young. I feel like I may throw the computer out the window to stop myself from googling cancer stories from hell or having myself commited to an institution where Internet use is banned. I am traumatized by this.

[dale12345]

I know exactly how you feel, does your dr know about your anxiety. Are you against taking meds, not saying they are for everyone but they can help. Also not trying to you how too live your life.

[paranoid-viking]

My doctor knows yes. She prescribed me some sort of mild valium to take if it got too serious. I consider taking one tonight. But then again; I freak out by the thought cause; wont valium be dangerous if I have a disease in the pancreas? Oh the dilemas.

---------- Post added at 23:23 ---------- Previous post was at 23:20 ----------

I always feared cancer but now I got obsessed with the thought of the worst possible cancer a human can get namely pancreatic cancer with a higher mortality rate than even lung cancer. If I have PC I wont live to Christmas.

[Kathryn313]

If you have PC and you wont live till Christmas, then taking a Valium wont make much difference to the outcome now. So take the Valium and get through tonight.

If you don't have PC and you do live beyond Christmas, then taking a Valium wont hurt you. So take the Valium and get through tonight.

Good luck.

PS - I think Patrick Swayze lived for two years with PC.

[dale12345]

I dont know about that but I do know that drinking in mass amounts isnt good for anyone. If the dr gave it to you I think he or she doesn't think its a problem.

[paranoid-viking]

Oh yes he did, mainly because:
-it was discovered early before no real symptoms showed up
-and, as a Hollywood star he had acess to the sort of first class cancer treatment that ordinary people like me can not afford

Same with Steve Jobs who actually had it for 10 years; exctremely unusual. But again; same as with Swayze; acess to the best cancer treatment in existense.

---------- Post added at 23:36 ---------- Previous post was at 23:34 ----------

Could the bloating I have in the stomach today mainly be caused by yesterdays drinking only and not be the cause of something more serious? Is it common?

[Kathryn313]

Yes it could.

Good points about access to treatment/early discoveries.

[paranoid-viking]

Edit: the googler in me found out that mr. Swayze did have more severe symptoms then what I in my paranoid mind percieve as symptoms of pancreatic cancer.

[Fishmanpa]

Errrr.....stop?

Ditto! Painfully obvious don't you think?

Positive thoughts

[paranoid-viking]

Well, now i have been taking it. Hope for the best. But I feel paranoid from taking it. Valium is hard drugs. I do feel dizzy now but that is probably just my paranoia.

[dale12345]

dont drink with it that wont help.

[hanshan]

If I had to compare a valium tablet versus a night of binge drinking, it's a feather versus a sledgehammer in terms of hard drugs. (People with health anxiety often report on NMP that they have a surge of anxiety soon after taking a new medication).

Even taken long-term, I'm not aware of Valium adversely affecting bodily organs (and I haven't Googled it).

Very, very, very likely your tests will come back clear. Use that as a chance to work on your health anxiety and your using binge drinking to cope with anxiety (of any kind). The alcohol will take you off on a lovely trip and then dump you in a dark and unpleasant place.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Diazepam isn't a hard drug. For a start, I've read the legislation in the UK for drug classification and Diazepam is at the soft end with the meds. There are two levels above this which cover more addictive and damaging meds and one of those levels is still open to doctors.

Diazepam, when used correctly, it manageable. It's got a very bad reputation because they gave them out like sweeties years ago and many became dependant because the medical community didn't understand them. Also, they are classed as a drug of abuse hence they were elevated to Schedule 3 (UK that is) and the UN put them on their radar because they were funding organised crime and causing social problems across the world.

[paranoid-viking]

If I had to compare a valium tablet versus a night of binge drinking, it's a feather versus a sledgehammer in terms of hard drugs. (People with health anxiety often report on NMP that they have a surge of anxiety soon after taking a new medication).

Even taken long-term, I'm not aware of Valium adversely affecting bodily organs (and I haven't Googled it).

Very, very, very likely your tests will come back clear. Use that as a chance to work on your health anxiety and your using binge drinking to cope with anxiety (of any kind). The alcohol will take you off on a lovely trip and then dump you in a dark and unpleasant place.

That is true. A bringe is a trip to paradise with a crash landing in hell if you have health anxiety.
I hope I come back clear. But since I fear it is pancreas problems a normal blood test and ultrasound may not detect such problems even if they are there. So I am scared anyway. And then may have to go through the whole thing with CT scaninge, endoscopy and colonoscopy while getting more and more ill meanwhile.:weep:

[cjemc]

That is true. A bringe is a trip to paradise with a crash landing in hell if you have health anxiety.
I hope I come back clear. But since I fear it is pancreas problems a normal blood test and ultrasound may not detect such problems even if they are there. So I am scared anyway. And then may have to go through the whole thing with CT scaninge, endoscopy and colonoscopy while getting more and more ill meanwhile.:weep:

Hi why did you have an endoscopy if the doctors think you have a pancreas problem? Also what blood tests have you had?

[paranoid-viking]

I have not had endescopy yet and not sure if it will be nescesarry; the doctors decide. It is ultrasound first on Wednsday; the first step. Blood tests were fine, normal amalyse level.
The doctors dont think I have a pancreas problem; I fear that I have it. My doctor thinks is probably a mix of health anxiety, IBS and acid reflux which I have had for years anyway. But my stomach is not feeling good; it has not been good for three months.

[Pearly queen]

Errrr.....stop?

So unhelpful!

I know how you feel re drinking, we worry ourselves so much about illness yet do the one thing we know damages our health. I know from experience of the last few months when I did a dry month, that I am a much more chilled person when I don't drink. I still like to drink though but I try to keep it to weekends only and only buy just enough. If it's not there I simply cant drink it and even when I feel agitated and would love a drink I just take a moment to breath, find something I enjoy doing and it quickly passes. You are not alone.

[sarahsparkleshine]

Lord have mercy, Valium is NOT a hard core drug. Damn, I am a mother of two. That has to take TWO of them during our flights to Disney...lol. I am not a drinker, nor do I take ant other type of drugs. You'll be fine.