Confidence in a bottle

[Hellsbells5733]

Hi Everybody,

Can anybody give me any advise. ...
I am and always have been ridiculously shy. Texting Im fine but face to face I am ridiculous. When I go out I always have a few drinks first as this is the only thing that gives me the slightest confidence.
I am going though a lot of stress with family life at the minute which doesnt help and the Doc has upped my Sertraline.
How can I get any real confidence that doesnt come out of a bottle?? I feel invisible and when I speak I do not get heard no matter where I am or who I am with. It's really dragging me down. I have turned to going to work then hiding in bed, It isn't fair as I have kids too and they pick up on it all.
Please, any help at all will be appreciated.

[SLA]

So you want to be more confident and natural face to face?

That is awesome!

To start, you need to have an idea in your head of what the more confident you will look and sound like.

Why? Because you need to have a goal to work towards, and the best way to do this is to imagine it first.

The second step, is to practice at home. Stand in front of the mirror, and have a conversation. Look yourself in the eye, and start to break through that resistance.

Once you have done that, play out some scenarios in your head. Imagine yourself at a bar and having a conversation with someone. How are you acting? What questions are you asking?

Doing this will take the edge off of the real life situations, and give you a confidence boost.

After that, practice for real, but don’t put any pressure on yourself. Just take it steady, and be persistent.

Make it your goal to be this new person. Get passionate and excited about it.

[Hellsbells5733]

I am liking the positive attitude. is this something tried and tested by yourself??
I will give it a go, I am up for trying anything to get me out of this miserable existence :-)

thank you for your advise :-)

[SLA]

Yes, it's a well known fact that rehearsing something in your mind regularly, will make you more proficient in that skill.

You can use it for anything. For example, getting better at a sport, or a game.

I regularly talk to myself in the mirror to increase my confidence. I'm not a natural at talking to people either!