NotCool
28-09-16, 00:16
Hey, I'm back again with another week's episode of "Irrational fears overblown".
Visited a store today and saw what looked like a female drug addict asking for money in front of it, as it happens many times. She asked for money and I kind of with frustration said that I don't have any.
Inside the store I started feeling a bit guilty that I said it in that manner, so on the way back I scraped some spare change and prepared to give it to her. While I was giving it to her, tiny part of my finger slightly scraped for a split second with her hand, like a miniscule touch, and then I saw that she had bad skin on her hand, some red marks and maybe scab or something like that, could be from the needles or whatever, or just a side effect of drugs.
I felt immediate regret, followed by anger at myself and her, followed by fear. What if I caught something from her hand? Some disease? I know that the worst case scenarios like HIV or Hepatitis PROBABLY isn't in game, but maybe something else. I was extra diligent while driving home to not bring that finger close to my eyes, nose or mouth, and when I came home I scrubbed and washed my hand intensely.
The thoughts won't leave my head this evening. They probably will tomorrow, and I'll probably find this episode absurd in a few days. But damn this susceptibility of mine to get so worked up over triggers like that.
Visited a store today and saw what looked like a female drug addict asking for money in front of it, as it happens many times. She asked for money and I kind of with frustration said that I don't have any.
Inside the store I started feeling a bit guilty that I said it in that manner, so on the way back I scraped some spare change and prepared to give it to her. While I was giving it to her, tiny part of my finger slightly scraped for a split second with her hand, like a miniscule touch, and then I saw that she had bad skin on her hand, some red marks and maybe scab or something like that, could be from the needles or whatever, or just a side effect of drugs.
I felt immediate regret, followed by anger at myself and her, followed by fear. What if I caught something from her hand? Some disease? I know that the worst case scenarios like HIV or Hepatitis PROBABLY isn't in game, but maybe something else. I was extra diligent while driving home to not bring that finger close to my eyes, nose or mouth, and when I came home I scrubbed and washed my hand intensely.
The thoughts won't leave my head this evening. They probably will tomorrow, and I'll probably find this episode absurd in a few days. But damn this susceptibility of mine to get so worked up over triggers like that.