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View Full Version : what do you think triggered your anxiety or made it much worse?



hoppipolla
29-03-07, 14:22
hiya, i know there have been threads about this before but it's interesting to have them every so often i think :)

i've made it so you can select more than one option, so just tick whichever ones apply to you :) i have tried to keep it as broad as possible but obviously it's hard for me to judge!

i included the one about life/the world as it was what my friend said was the reason for hers, it's just for when you can't describe it but the world is just kinda scary.

Hoppi :byebye:


EDIT -- ok all done! i've tried to make it quite umm... comprehensive but it was tricky so let's see what comes out of this! to be honest quite a few apply to me lol

hoppipolla
29-03-07, 14:34
oh, i forgot to put one for people whose anxiety may have come out of depression, like depression can come out of anxiety. i'm not sure how possible or common or whatever it is for it to go the other way, but i would be interested to hear if anyone has experienced that

bye :flowers:

LickeyEndBlues
29-03-07, 14:50
I ticked other as I didn't realise that multiple answers were accepted.

I do feel a lot of my situation lies with my past, particularly my early years. I didn't suffer any abuse or such like but I did have a rather isolate upbringing, mostly be my maternal grandmother. I didn't really mix with other kids till I was 5. Since then I have been playing a sort of catch up but I am continually questioning my abilities etc.

Depression has been a significant factor also but I guess there is a bit of "chicken and egg" there.

My anxieties lie in both general and social...which is probably why I am sat here alone right now!!

hoppipolla
29-03-07, 15:38
I ticked other as I didn't realise that multiple answers were accepted.

I do feel a lot of my situation lies with my past, particularly my early years. I didn't suffer any abuse or such like but I did have a rather isolate upbringing, mostly be my maternal grandmother. I didn't really mix with other kids till I was 5. Since then I have been playing a sort of catch up but I am continually questioning my abilities etc.

Depression has been a significant factor also but I guess there is a bit of "chicken and egg" there.

My anxieties lie in both general and social...which is probably why I am sat here alone right now!!

i just made the bit about that bold so it's easier to see :)

yeah isolation and loneliness has a big effect... it probably wasn't the CAUSE of mine... but it may be the reason it is not going away yet.

ailsajayne26
29-03-07, 15:42
Mine has gradually built up over time.... with loneliness and lack of control over situation creating my major peaks!

Although for some reason I was fairly bad before the docs said you have anxiety... but as soon as i was told that I got a million times worse... and changin my life didn't improve things as they have in the past... I mean i've been really happy for months but still had physical anxiety symptoms and inability to stop worrying!! I reckon with me anyway being told I was anxious made it worse lol!!!

domino
29-03-07, 16:49
Iticked came on suddenly,Why [if only i knew] No seriously, i litterely went to bed one night and woke up feeling anxious. Family members ask the question , what, when , why. they will tell you that nothing bothered me at all ,i just got on with life, and anything that it through at me i delt with. i do remember my anxiety stared in 1992, it was august 27th and i was due to fly to spain , last minute holiday, got to airport, fine then they called our flight, and that,s when it happened. a rush of adreinline thought my body . that was it .came home feeling that i had let my hubby and daughter down ,went straightaway to see my g.p. who i might add laughed.TOLD ME TO TAKE A VALIUM and get the next flight out. Well that,s me, maybe i will go to bed tonight and in the morning i will wake up and it will all have been a dream. WHO AM I KIDDING.:wacko:

eastender
29-03-07, 18:00
I've had short episodes of anxiety here and there over the years, it never used to last long and then it would go away. But this time it won't go away. My life has been turned upside down, spun around and given a good kicking by a variety of events over the past 3 years, I thought I'd coped with it all and come out the other side HA ! But it seems its all been stored up, turned into depression and then pumped back as adrenaline into my stomach ! Lol with hindsight I should have seen it coming :wacko:

happyone
30-03-07, 09:53
My anxiety started as a result of depression that I was trying to ignore. the more I tried to ignore it, the more my brain kept on trying to make me accept it (thats my analsis anyway! Move over top psychologists...I'm coming for your job!)

happyone
xx

cattttt
30-03-07, 10:15
This particular bout of anxiety started when I had a tetanus booster. I had a panic attack 10 mins later, this has been followed by 6 months of the worst anxiety I've ever had. Think I'm getting better now, but I'm not out of the woods yet.
I've had anxiety before, but never like this.

Ellen70
30-03-07, 20:57
I ticked parents/upbringing and world is scarey.
My brother was diagnosed with schizophrenia when I was about eight years old and he was always violent, aggressive and unpredictable. I guess being in a home where there is violence or an aggressive atmosphere everyday just wore me down bit by bit and when I was 15 I had my first panic attack and at 16 had a nervous breaddown. I never felt 'safe' in my own home as a child and teenager becasue my parents let my brother walk all over them, my siblings and myself.

Also my father is a very, very anxious person by nature and I could even sense as a young child how nervous he was and I therefore never trusted him to be able to protect me. He always said things about how 'hard' life is and how there is no happiness to be had in this world, so when you grow up with a parent like this it does make you see the world as a threatening and dangerous place.

hoppipolla
30-03-07, 21:36
I ticked parents/upbringing and world is scarey.
My brother was diagnosed with schizophrenia when I was about eight years old and he was always violent, aggressive and unpredictable. I guess being in a home where there is violence or an aggressive atmosphere everyday just wore me down bit by bit and when I was 15 I had my first panic attack and at 16 had a nervous breaddown. I never felt 'safe' in my own home as a child and teenager becasue my parents let my brother walk all over them, my siblings and myself.

Also my father is a very, very anxious person by nature and I could even sense as a young child how nervous he was and I therefore never trusted him to be able to protect me. He always said things about how 'hard' life is and how there is no happiness to be had in this world, so when you grow up with a parent like this it does make you see the world as a threatening and dangerous place.

aww you seem like a sweet person eibhlin, i'm sorry you've had such a hard time it sounds worse than mine in many ways. my mum is so tense and non-stop and stressed but yeah it doesn't sound as bad as your bro or dad. my dad is also very stressed out and struggling at work.

it's not a nice feeling when you can't feel safety or stability in your surroundings at home when you end up on edge all the time :(

thanks for being in the poll... it's interesting how it's shaping up. i predicted that most people would have triggers but for a fair few it seems to be just part of the way their mind works. and i'm not the only one when it started at uni ._.

take care everyone :)

Keep going
31-03-07, 00:57
Always had anxiety, but within the space of 6 month i'd, moved house, had a car crash, got a new job, my granma died, put under extreme stress and bullied in my new job. When my car had been fixed, it blew-up on me! and to top it off financial pressure from having to get a new car.

So you could say that might have triggered it.

stu

hoppipolla
31-03-07, 01:44
Always had anxiety, but within the space of 6 month i'd, moved house, had a car crash, got a new job, my granma died, put under extreme stress and bullied in my new job. When my car had been fixed, it blew-up on me! and to top it off financial pressure from having to get a new car.

So you could say that might have triggered it.

stu


woah man, yeah when too much is put on your plate at one time it can tip the balance and push you over the edge. it's really not very nice i know how it feels. you will feel better in time though :)

Shadowwin
31-03-07, 07:07
My Mother was a nurse with no bed side or child manner for that matter.. who worked in the emergency room at a local hosptial and was a drama queen. She practiced attachment parenting before it was "the in thing" sleeping in the same bed as me till I was 10 and the same room until I was 14 on a cot.. I wasn't allowed to eat apples unless she cut them, popcorn until I was much older she actually sent a letter to SCHOOL saying I couldn't have popcorn.. talk about embarrasing eh? She always had a doom and gloom story to tell .. complete with why I should NOT eat certain things (Candy was popular all those razor blades and pin stories from the 80's) or her reason for the popcorn and apples was because I could choke.. I should becareful because things were posionous and if it fell on the ground I should never eat it it could make me sick!

My other contributing factor.. Death the mere thought of dying terrifies me has since my Grandfather died when I was younger. I had gone up to see him in the hospital after school and he was sitting up eating spaghetti laughing and joking around with me I was 13 at the time I left the room for 2 mins to go to the ladies room came back and he didn't answer me when I said I was back.. needless to say I learned far to young how one mintue someone could be there and then gone.. later in my 20's my grandmother also passed away with me in the room.. started making me feel like the family Banshee after a while.

But I think what tipped my scales was getting stuck in a Blizzard here in NY in downtown Buffalo by myself in a bad neighboorhood and having the car go into a ditch.. That's when my attacks got really bad.. and when I started being afraid of being alone, driving anywhere alone, spending anytime alone..

Lynnann
31-03-07, 07:22
I ticked a few responses to this poll, I think in my case it is a combined thing of several traumatic events, some things happened in my early childhood then my mother was an alcoholic who commited suicide when I was 9 after that I had a very strict, difficult and emotionally detached upbringing by my grandmother. The story just gets worse culminating in the condition I am now in. The final straw was over 2yrs ago but I know alcohol makes the pain ease but my symptoms worse.

Lynnann

hoppipolla
31-03-07, 15:39
My Mother was a nurse with no bed side or child manner for that matter.. who worked in the emergency room at a local hosptial and was a drama queen. She practiced attachment parenting before it was "the in thing" sleeping in the same bed as me till I was 10 and the same room until I was 14 on a cot.. I wasn't allowed to eat apples unless she cut them, popcorn until I was much older she actually sent a letter to SCHOOL saying I couldn't have popcorn.. talk about embarrasing eh? She always had a doom and gloom story to tell .. complete with why I should NOT eat certain things (Candy was popular all those razor blades and pin stories from the 80's) or her reason for the popcorn and apples was because I could choke.. I should becareful because things were posionous and if it fell on the ground I should never eat it it could make me sick!

My other contributing factor.. Death the mere thought of dying terrifies me has since my Grandfather died when I was younger. I had gone up to see him in the hospital after school and he was sitting up eating spaghetti laughing and joking around with me I was 13 at the time I left the room for 2 mins to go to the ladies room came back and he didn't answer me when I said I was back.. needless to say I learned far to young how one mintue someone could be there and then gone.. later in my 20's my grandmother also passed away with me in the room.. started making me feel like the family Banshee after a while.

But I think what tipped my scales was getting stuck in a Blizzard here in NY in downtown Buffalo by myself in a bad neighboorhood and having the car go into a ditch.. That's when my attacks got really bad.. and when I started being afraid of being alone, driving anywhere alone, spending anytime alone..

woah you have had a TOUGH time! i'm so sorry to hear about all of that :(

same for you lynnann, i'm sorry it's been difficult ._.

it's like that line in Scrubs where Elliott says all this stuff that has happened in her life and it's like crazy and she's had this disturbing upbringing and Carla goes something like "it's amazing you're as normal as you are!" lol

upbringing makes a big difference though... i hope things get better for both of you! hang in there :)

honeybee3939
01-04-07, 10:08
Hi

I ticked a "traumatic Event".

12 Years ago i was held at knife point by a armed robber, which brought on Agorophobia the feeling of been trapped and not in control.

Love

Andrea
xxxx

Freaky Chick
01-04-07, 10:48
Well I'm a mixture of a lot of things.

First my friend got sick with a psychiatric disorder and tried killing herself several times, and my other friend got a boyfriend and i became like a hotel, just cleaning up after her, never seeing her etc. I turned 30, which didn't help, cos i'd planned to have lots of things achieved by then that were no-where in sight.

So i got a new job, to be closer to my friend to help her out, and to get some friends closer to where i lived. As i was working in central London over 11/2 hrs from home, doing shift work, so never any time really to make new friends. And my new jopb turned out to have a bullying and change resistent culture - and i was on almost permanent nights and weekends - all the shifts no-one else wanted to do. The last straw was when a senior was asked to teach me how to do a bit of her job as a training exercise - and she was so resistent she wouldn't help. And when i'd spent 30 hours on the task, she would change it to her own advantage and make me out to be to blame for the rest of the rubbish in it. No matter how i tried to get info out of her, she didn't help. And i basically got sick sorry and fed up of it - blew a gasket and got sick from there on in.

Now i'm agoraphobic and anxious. I can't even get to the town where i worked without panicking - let alone the building.

But i'm getting there i guess - slower than i would like - but getting htere - maybe i should join british rail!

Freaky chick

bearcrazy
07-04-07, 22:20
Mine started when I got married and found real happiness. have always worried about losingit!!!!! Recurred when I had kids, when other significant events happened, now its constant!

igrek
11-04-07, 05:26
Mine seemed to start after several bad experiences with drugs. I had only had half a tab off Ecstasy once, before trying a really strong one, in combination with some alcohol and a LOT of pot. I spent about 4 hours thinking my heart was going to explode, and that my brain was expanding and that it would be crushed against my skull. After that, I had some minor clouding of thought, then I began getting daily headaches. Everything else started after that, from heart palpitations to really bad left side neck pain, localized headaches, worries that my mind's voice had been lessened, worrying that I get music stuck in my head too easily, as well as thinking that I have an aneurysm in a particular spot since it's been the spot of most of my daily headaches...stupid decision.

ashnjim
11-04-07, 10:26
mines started at scholl exams approaching and so much stress at home too.

Scarlett77
11-04-07, 12:08
God, so many people on here have had such horrible experiences - my heart goes out to you all. It was more a build up of things for me, i'd say it all started in my early teens. From age 13, my dad emotionally and physically abused me, and i was severely bullied at school. Add to that a violent, alcoholic boyfriend in my early twenties, and i think that's why my social anxiety is so out of control now.

scarlett

heavymind
11-04-07, 12:12
Oh Eibhlin, I could have written what you have, it was my mother who kept telling me/my sis that the world cant be trusted and its very bad and she was hysterical many times and remember being afraid of her starting to yell, which used to feel like never ending screaming at everything.

Lozzie
11-04-07, 12:33
Well I ticked parents/upbringing and gradually built up over time with no real explanation.
I had my first panic attack when I was in my teens bout 13. I didn't know at the time that it was a panic attack because I didn't really know what they were. It was all really due to my relationship with my Dad. My Dad left my mum when I was a few months old and my sister was 13. He was never really around me when I was growing up and one of my first memories I have is when my Dad visted me and he picked me up and held me and I just looked at him and started crying because I didn't know who he was. Quite a sad first memory really. Over time my Dad used to come round and visit when it suited him. When I was about 6-7 he used to ring me up and promise to take me out on a certain day, like to the zoo or park or something. I would get really excited, the day would come, I would be ready and sitting by the window waiting to see my Dad pull up in his car but 9 times out of 10 he wouldn't turn up. I would get so upset but I still believed he would come. I remember spending the whole day sitting at the window looking at every car go past just waiting for my Dad, hoping he would turn up.
He wouldn't even ring to explain why he wasn't turning up. This used to hurt me so much. At the time though I never admitted it, I just used to bottle it up (a technique iv mastered over the years)
Then the next time I saw or spoke to my Dad, he would say nothing about him not turning up and would pretend like nothing happened.
Over the years this obviously affected me but i never let on.
It got to my 13th birthday and I was having a part at my house, my Dad PROMISED he would come. The party started, no sign of my dad and party ended still no sign of my Dad. No phonecall nothing.
He turned up 5 days later with a birthday card. This time I actually plucked up the courage to confront him and I asked him why he didn't show up and he said "Sorry I was at a football match". That was the moment that I could never forgive my dad for.

Anyway about 2 years ago I found out why my Dad left and it was because he had cheated on my mum with several "other" women while my Mum was pregnant with me. He was even engaged to one girl even though he was married to my mum!! He left my mum when i was a few months old for the other woman. Since finding this out, I have no respect for my Father. As far as I'm concerned that is something I can never forgive him for. He hurt my Mum and me badly. I haven't seen or spoken to my Dad for nearly 2 years. He can contact me if he wanted, he has my number and knows where I live but he hasn't contacted me in all this time. But yet he still see's my sister every weekend :huh:

Anyway sorry iv prattled on but it is a long story.
So all the let down,bottling up of emotions and hurt I have been through has resulted in me suffering the way I am now.

Laura xxx

hoppipolla
12-04-07, 12:59
it's been interesting reading everyone's stories, like scarlet said my heart goes out to people too, it's so sad when it feels like the world is hurting you and it gradually gets worse in your mind until it's hard to cope, which is what seems to have happened to a lot of people.

the top two reasons seem to be "generally increased stress" and "parents/upbringing" (both of which i ticked myself), but it's quite spread out.

thank you for all the input :)

angiebaby
12-04-07, 13:27
A routine operation that i had with a local, two years ago.

hoppipolla
13-04-07, 14:42
just read your story laura (sorry i didn't get a chance before, it;'s been a tricky thread to keep up with hehe!) and i'm really sorry your dad has been like that, it must have been difficult to keep putting faith in him when he kept letting you down even when you were so young.

it's really scary he was at a football match during your 13th birthday O.O and also how can he see your sister and not you now? why? it's weird, i don't blame you for not having any respect for him... does he have any good excuses for any of it?

Lozzie
13-04-07, 15:17
To be honest I think my Dad see's my sister more because I don't think she knows the full truth to why Dad left or if she does know then she has either forgiven him or doesn't believe it. I don't want to tell her about it as I don't want it to come between us. Every now and then she has a go at me about not seeing my Dad but she doesn't seem to understand that it's not my fault I haven't seen him. It's like she can't believe Dad would not ring me or try and see me. The last time I saw/spoke to my Dad was 2 years ago. He just doesn't care.
I don't really fully understand why he can see my sister and not me.
Sometimes I think that perhaps somehow it's my fault he doesn't see me etc.
I used to blame myself alot when I was younger. I used to get picked on at school because I didn't know what footie team my Dad supports or silly things that kids should know about their parents.
My relationship with my father has caused me alot of emotional problems. I was put on anti-depressants when I was 14 after a failed suicide attempt. I dropped out of school because I couldn't concentrate and was depressed. I saw a counsellor for a few years. And then just when I thought I was better when I was about 18 my Dad got back in contact, walked in and out of my life again causing more hurt and then my panic attacks came back and depression reared it's ugly head again.
This is why now I don't want to see my Dad. He has had more than enough chances and he messed up every chance I gave him. All I have ever wanted was a Father like all my friends have. But I have come to terms with the fact that my Dad won't be that kind of Father.
I have told my mother that when I have kids of my own, I don't want my Dad to hurt them like he hurt me. I will give him one chance and one chance only when they are young and if he messes that up and does exactly what he done to me then he won't see them again. It will be my way of stopping my Dad from hurting anyone else.
Laura xxxx

Magpie
16-04-07, 11:57
Wow, there are some really moving stories in this thread. Congrats to all of you for keeping on going in the face of these events in your lives - the anxiety is only to be expected after these kind of experiences!

I ticked 'other' because my condition is genetic. I've had episodes of extreme anxiety ever since I can remember, and when my mum was diagnosed with GAD a couple of years ago it all started to make sense, although my symptoms were quite different from hers in a lot of ways. Then I finally got the same diagnosis early this year, after several months of being passed from doctor to CPN to psychiatrist. The general consensus was that my genes were to blame.

Sometimes the episodes just occur of their own volition with no obvious reason, sometimes they can be triggered by life events but I have gone through some really bad times with no ill effects as well. Issues of control seem to be a factor - don't know whether that's because when I go into an episode the feeling of having no control over my thoughts and feelings is the scary part, so I start to associate other situations where I don't have control with the anxiety and then it becomes a vicious circle.

Zanxiety
18-04-07, 15:10
It's a total of 3 things for me which caused my anxiety.

Firstly when my dad tragically passed away a few years ago, I was left feeling empty and very upset as he was such a great dad who had a real interest with trains, but over the years I started to become quiter until at secondary school one day, I went all shy and didn't speak to anybody at all and I think that was because of my expired (unalive) dad and that I did get bullied by people too which didn't help. So this would the the traumatic side of things.

I've also become this way with even my Panic Attacks developing when my mother became more stricter due to the stressful job she has at work, and my sister who keeps on bossing me around for no real reason and this left me feeling constantly affraid and shaky when my mum gets angry with me for being anxious or making small mistakes. Don't get me wrong, she is a lovely mother who does really care about me, it's just unfortunate of her two jobs she has which makes her get angry when she doesn't mean too. I developed Panic Attacks though, eventually after being frightened, and telling me off in a scary way as it gave me the sense of isolation ad that I was different from most other people.

Loneliness would have also helped to make this happen aswell, feeling that people would, and will always judge me.

So with all of these things working together it has caused me to what I am today, A very anxious, self concious, and a person full of worries.

lucy0927
19-04-07, 12:48
Laura, I understand where you're coming from - my Dad left when I was 4, though it was my Mum that kicked him out as he use to drink a lot and then use to hit out at her. I saw my Dad on and off until I was 14, it was whenever suited him and over time it got less and less until I finally decided I didn't want to see him at all. I saw him last Christmas for the first time in about 10 years and it was like talking to a stranger, it's the most bizarre experience.

It never really hit me until I got older how much you miss out on not having a Dad. A lot of it I believe contributed to my anxiety because of the pressures I put on myself to look after my Mum. Somewhere in the back of my mind I guess I thought that because I didn't have 2 parents I'd not had a normal upbringing, and while my Mum is great I think she tried to subsitute her husband with her kids and the pressure that brought led me to feeling trapped. I always thought if my Dad had been there I'd have been able to go out more as a teenager without having to worry about my mum being lonely, it took me years to understand I had to live my life and not just worry about hers. I'm still working on it and my Dad I email every now and again but you can't change the past and he made his choices and I made mine, I just try to learn and hope that one day if/ when I have kids it'll be with a better man than my Father.

If you ever need to chat, please PM me.

Wenjoy
19-04-07, 20:18
Mine was partly my upbringing - feeling like a worthless pieceof *hi* and growing up with an inferiority complex and even at the age of 47 still having it despite being very happily married. But the event that triggered it was being on a hot stuffy bus and I panicked - had to get off into the fresh air. The panic attacks now are always triggered by hot stuffy situatiions where I cant see a door to get out quickly.Wenjoy x

tammye72
05-05-07, 22:01
I had panic attacks after the birth of my 1st child.

p!atdx
07-05-07, 12:31
having my heart broken in a thousand little pieces! hehe

jill
08-05-07, 02:13
Hi all

I find this thread very intresting.

I voted, something about life/the world is scary.

I have had anxiety since a very small child, I did not suffer pa untill a few years ago.

I also think it is genetic. I have 2 kids, my son has NO problems, none of my kids new I had any problems, only my mum and sisters new I had problems. Not even my hubby new the extent of my problems.

My daughter suffered her first pa at the age of 3, this is a long story so I will not go into that, but I was told when she was 6 years old what she was suffering with, PA, anxiety, it was in her make up to be this way, she would learn to live with it or grow out of it. She is panic free now, but still has some anxiety, at the mo she is sitting her SATS (exams) this is putting a little presure on her, she is good at dealing with one thing at a time, but last week girls where picking on her in school, so dealing with axmas and these girls things got a little tuff for her and her anxiety level went high. She is such a brave young lady, age 13, she said she wished to deal with these girls on her own, AND she did. I am sooo proud of her. Still got her sats to do, ohhh tommorow. wish her luck plllleeeasssee.

I do believe for us, my daughter and I, it is genetic, BUT, I do believe you can learn how to bring it down to a low hum.

When my daughter had a blip last year, she had a pa in school, it took her 5 months to get back into school, but she did it. The therapist said that my daughter finds the world a scary place, this did make me feel sad.

TAKE CARE ALL

Wishing you all well

LOVE JILLXX

looking4answers
11-05-07, 00:13
Hmm lets see ..going from a bad marriage to divorce and losing my mom which i thought was the only person in the world that cared for me ..Feeling like the daughters I rasied with kid gloves on didnt care for me or does..At that time I was free of anxiety after all that ..Had a death wish best five years I ever had..Challenged death.. faced it off cursed it and dared it to happen..Luckly for me nobody was listening lol and I didnt get to stupid with taking chances..Then I met a woman fell in love and then had three more children and my children began to make me feel loved again..That was anxiety to the max going from no one .. not caring if i died to loving so many feeling secure,

All of us in the same city and then jerked away by a hurricane to be scattered all over the country in seperate places .. moved 2000 miles away to a place that compared to New Orleans was another planet..

Expected our children to be around,they couldnt come visit and being in such a rural isolated place putting every penny we had into it so much we could never move..Thinking about what happened in our home in New Orleans watching the news with it looking like forth world country and people bad mouthing us and we lived on the West Baank

looking4answers
11-05-07, 00:23
Hmm lets see ..going from a bad marriage to divorce and losing my mom which i thought was the only person in the world that cared for me ..Feeling like the daughters I rasied with kid gloves on didnt care for me or does..At that time I was free of anxiety after all that ..Had a death wish best five years I ever had..Challenged death.. faced it off cursed it and dared it to happen..

Luckly for me nobody was listening lol and I didnt get to stupid with taking chances..Then I met a woman fell in love and then had three more children and my children began to make me feel loved again..That was anxiety to the max going from no one .. not caring if i died to loving so many feeling secure,

All of us in the same city and then jerked away by a hurricane to be scattered all over the country in seperate places .. moved 2000 miles away to a place that compared to New Orleans was another planet..

Expected our children to be around,they couldnt come visit and being in such a rural isolated place putting every penny we had into it so much we could never move..Thinking about what happened in our home in New Orleans watching the news with it looking like forth world country and people bad mouthing us and we lived on the West Bank nothing to really do with downtown New Orleans or the plague of people or sitututations that happened there..It was like looking at someone elses city or on the other side of the world

The New Orleans that we left was a proud place to tell people we were from .At first people were happy to know us and glad to be a part of our lives and glad we have relocated here.. Although nobody has treated us badly I have seen thousands of post all over the internet that makes people think that people from New Orleans were bad..

We had to get used to telling people that we were from here instead of New Orleans for fear of what they would think.We used to be proud to say we were from there now we don't even mention it.. We were the lucky ones as far as damage and being able to fix and get out..

We were the unlucky ones to be isolated from those we love.. Its been over a year now and we have adjusted but still there are days I look outside and wonder where I am.. The climate here is very cold.. most of the year..The altitude is enough to choke most people with very little oxygen but we made it though we survive physically ..

The cold is harder on us although we are older and would have hurt more anyway at this age its just the cold and climate change I think makes it worse.When we realized that we were just her and I ..I think we started feeling better.We got a couple of horses that needed homes and couple of dogs that needed the same .Now we are all here together taking care of each other..

You asked what made your anxiety worse..or caused it..Well All the above and none of the above.I have always been anxious about something all my life..but caring about people and loving causes anxiety ..its causes you to worry about something happening to them or you.You are not so anxious to want to depart this world ..and well thats enough to make you anxious..also worrying about your children and grand chiildren miles and miles away .. and about your animals..


When i had no care for this world I had no anxiety ..I welcomed death.I was free of worry and free totally more than I had ever been but is total uncaring better than anxiety .No..You are walkind dead.. and well I think I would rather feel and be worried than not to care at all..Just some thoughts and you did ask lol.. Michael

tt
11-05-07, 04:42
I think it is how you were raised by seeing life events - death and then as you get older - being afraid of them happening to you.
I also do believe it is in the mind. I feel it when I am down and when things are going well it scares me too because I think the bomb is going to fall.

ItWillPass
15-05-07, 20:28
My anxiety sky rockets when I am sick with something. It doesnt matter what it is, if things dont feel normal, I lose it.

bubbleblitt
16-05-07, 06:03
I ticked 'others' and I seem to have had a similar start to panic atacks as Rickards.
I had my first, major panic attack before my first long haul flight to America almost 20 years ago.I went ahead with the trip because my whole family were looking forward to the holiday but ever since then I've had panic attacks before and during flights.can't seem to shake them off.I keep agreeing to book another flight because I feel guilty that I am letting the family down if I don't go!
recently, over the last 12 months, I seem to have had a couple of panic attacks about other things too which is even more scarely! I have started counselling and just started some psychotherapy so I'll keep you posted on my progress Bubble

samc100
17-05-07, 14:59
I was ill with kidney problems for about 3 months. I was so worried that I couldn't look after my baby boy that I got myself into a huge state. Spiralled down and out of control. I didn't realise I was having attacks until I'd really lost the plot and was rocking behind the settee. Took all my confidence, self belief away.

Been a long journey and still many miles to go and I wouldn't wish it on my worst foe. But at the same time I try to keep hold of the good things that are as result of the attacks e.g. I have more empathy for other people, I found this forum and had some wonderful support at my lowest ebb, discovered my true friends etc...

woofybaby
07-06-07, 07:15
low self esteem - which I have no idea why I have! I can never see the best in myself despite having a successful career and a loving family and husband. This manifests itself in pa before social events, irrational thoughts about whether or not I am happily married (I am, but always panic about it!), difficulty making female friends (because I always compare myself to them) and disappointment because I have really really high expectations - which generally fail because they are unrealistic and then I think I'm a failure.

Looking back over what I just wrote.... I can definitely see a pattern!

I agree though that all of this is genetic. My grandmother had similar issues (OCD, depression and anxiety) but had three boys who are all OK. However, all 3 of her boys had girls and two of my cousins and me seem to have inherited it.

breeze25
09-06-07, 21:19
never had any anxiety until I had a child, then almost overnight with the thought that you are responsible for a little one, it came on thick and fast and comes and goes. Its weird as when either my husband or my son is ill, I can see it for what it is, yet with me its all doom and gloom.

PUGLETMUM
11-04-08, 10:05
:) there is evidence to suggest that becoming a mum for the first time is why a great number of agoraphobic women developed symptoms soon after the birth of a child - usually the first one. it is to do with the endocrine system, more responsiblility and social isolation, loss of identity - it is no coincidence!

heatwave
11-04-08, 21:38
My agrophobia started after being ill with flu. I was left weak and began to be afraid to go outdoors in case I collapsed. The more I tried the more I panicked until in the end I couldn't go past my front gate. I had had one bad panic attack about five/six years before this latest episode but nothing like as bad as those I get now.
I am getting better slowly and can now go outdoors and walk short distances which is a great improvement on what I was like before.

chard22
14-04-08, 15:51
Well i think i could have marked ALL of the choices provided.:doh:

When i was very very young, (6 or 7) i was raised by an abusive/alcoholic mother, and a drugged out step father. Growing up in an abusive atmosphere at that age can really mess with your emotions, and coping abilities when you get older. (if left untreated)

I would frequent my biological fathers house once or twice week. (he was a recovering alcoholic at the time) When i went over there it always felt like a safe haven, and i grew very very attached to him.

Fast forward a few years being through abusive foster families, i was finally able to live with my real dad. It was of course a very bumpy ride for quite some time seeing as i wasnt really taught how to be a "normal child" and my father and I would constantly get into fights.

I would remember from age 9-12 i would experience dreams that i couldnt really explain to people at the time, where i would wake up with sheer TERROR. (Im thinking night PA's)

When i finally entered middle school, (and at the time had ZERO contact with my mother for several years) i come to find through a NOTE my grandfather left me, that my mother had committed suicide. This was one of the most traumatic experiences i think one can go through at this age. (or any age for that matter) For the longest time after this incident, i became a very dark and cold person to many. I began hanging out with the bad crowd in school.

Fast forward to ninth grade where i finally asked my father why my mom had taken her life. I come to find out through him, that my mother may have had a hereditary diesease known as huntingtons diesease. (her father passed from the illness) I now have a 50/50 shot of inheriting this horrid illness. (which is non curable) I have yet to get the test to determine my fate.

Eleventh grade rolls around, im still hanging out with the wrong crowd, and i find myself stumbling into pot, cocaine, lsd, ecstasy, and mushrooms. I was in such a different world at the time i would do ANYTHING to get messed up.
So i ended up taking a very high/lethal dose of mood stabalizers, while on cocaine. I OD'd had a seizure and went into shock. Two weeks after this horrifying ordeal, i had my first PA.

So we all know how the viscous cycle starts, and now where im trying to put my life back together 2 years later. So all in all, i feel that many factors played a role in my developing of my anxiety.

I hope this can help anyone else cope if they can relate to this story in some way.

mamof3girls
14-04-08, 23:08
hhmmmm dont think mine is anything on that list. mine started when my baby was 5 months old. for me they said that it was pnd but showing itself in a differant way(coz i wasnt depressed, it was just the anxiety side of things really).

KittyLittle
15-04-08, 01:24
My panic attacks first started when I was about 11 I think (it may have been a bit before or after) I remember where we were living at the time and I never had the attacks in the day only at night, I would have a nightmare and wake-up in a full blown panic attack but never knew what it was at the time, all I knew was that I was shaking and petrified and felt incredibly wierd. I would go into my mums room and say I didn't feel right and that I had a nightmare and she would just say 'arn't you a bit old for having bad dreams and tell me to go back to bed' I would stay at the end of her bed or beside her bed on the floor until I had calmed down.

Basically it just got ignored or swept under the carpet. I always thought that it was cause she didn't realise what I was going through however a couple of years back she told me that she had panic attacks when she was divorcing my dad (which was years before I had them). This made me really angry that it never crossed her mind that I was going through the same awful occurances.

Later in my teams I was very miserable and cried on my own alot, i was also very angry at times mostly with myself and used to hit myself alot and pull out my own hair! God knows how but my mum and dad (my step dad brought me up) never noticed, in addition to that in my last year at school some stupid boy told me I was a fat cow and that was it, eating went out the window too for a little while. My friends at school noticed and hassled me a lot about it in a good way and were genuinely concerned, if they could notice again how come my parents never did? I never tried to hide it and even showed off my slimness (I was always petite anyway so it was noticeable).

I started eating again after one day I nearly fainted at the top of the stairs, everything was black and I couldn't see for ages, I called my mum and she just bollocked me for having my belly button pierced and blamed it on that (still does to this day). Needless to say the belly button had been done way before and had nothing to do with it, but the blackout experience scared me so much that I started eating again.

Later on when I was about 17 I had a bad experience with drugs, it wasn't intentional but I ate some hash cake, having never done any drugs before and being under the impression from everyone else that it would just make me feel relaxed and happy. DID IT HECK! Goodness knows what was in that wierd chocolate cakey (that tasted like shite for that matter), it was blummin expensive too. There must have been some kind of acid in it I think as I couldn't see a thing or walk or talk properly, everything was strange and absolutely petrifying. My friends got me back to the hotel where a doctor had to be called (cost a fortune) and he gave me valium but I was out of it tripping away for the whole weekend and convinced I was going to die.

I've had panic attacks ever since but got really good at dealing with them till about 5 years ago, when after a really serious case of glandular fever the anxiety got really bad and very quickly turned into very very bad depression. I wanted everything to end. I got through it eventually and was okay for about a year or 2, then after finishing a top up year at Uni it came along again but somehow I got through it again.

I've been fine for about 5 years but here it is back again, so angry that I have relapsed I always thought I had got over it all and got it all out of my system

PUGLETMUM
15-04-08, 09:27
:hugs: hi all, just to say whether youve had a really traumatic unhappy time, or like most just had the usual ups and downs of growing up and living but have experienced the nasty anxiety and panic to complicate your life?:mad: :weep: :lac: :shrug: :wacko: keep up the fight to free yourself of its and your pasts grip - you can be okay:yesyes:

jacks 6
15-04-08, 14:35
i ticked a few i think my anxiety was brought on due to delayed grief, i had 6 pregnancies all of which resulted in stillbirth and death soon after delivery, at the time i felt i was dealing with it and tried to carry on as best i could eg its in the past get on with it, well 6 years ago i fell pregnant again and hemorraged at 6 months my daughter was born extremely premature weighing one pound six ounces, a torture few weeks followed we had good and bad news daily eventually at seven weeks she couldnt take anymore and left us,again i felt i was dealing with this until 2 years later we recieved a letter telling us that during post mortem they had removed some of her organs and would we like these back for reburial, that was the turning point for me a could not deal with anything, i was admitted to a psychiatric ward which was even worse, as a nurse, i knew and was friends with the nurses caring for me this i felt made my anxiety worse, luckily for me though the doc put this down to delayed grief, as in my job i have to care for people and not have them care for me. thanks to medication i have got back some normality in my life but still have the odd blip which will hopefully get less as time goes on

clair7
17-04-08, 00:17
mine seems so trivial after reading all of yours lol!! my anxiety just came from a build up of stress i think. Loads of things happened in the space of a couple of years-my boyfriend of 5 yrs was diagnosed with OCD which put a huge strain on us and i thought i was to blame, he was living with me at uni but when his OCD started he left to live back with his parents and i selfishly just felt desserted. It was also so hard to see him like that as he completely changed overnight and i felt unable to help and just felt like i was watching him deteriorate. Also my gran died quite unexpectidly and we were always having money problems and family rows etc.
I was also in my last yr of uni and struggling with being behind on work and living away from home which was hard as i was constantly away from family, friends and my boyfriend who was having a hard time with his parents splitting up after his mum had an affair along dealing with his OCD.
My brother and his girlfriend who had been amazing through everything were moving to new york last feb, and on the way to the airport in the car i just started panicking. I managed to go back to uni but panicked there too on my first night back and had to come home in a taxi as i was too scared to get on the train-v expensive!! lol. After that i felt so anxious about going in the car and even going out incase of an attack. This just completely freaked me out as id never reallly understood how you could be afraid of doing things just because of anxiety.
The anxiety has completely taken over my life to the point where im terrified of panicking so shut myself away at home and i feel anxious all day long.

Heaven_Scent
17-04-08, 17:00
I've suffered since i was little. Its slowly got worse as ive got older. Drinkin and clubbin took its toll also. Its always there and as time passes a variety of different things just seem to add to it. One day im fine, the next i get anxious just gettin up on a morning.Xx

rockybalboa23
22-04-08, 11:31
im just posting anything to get on the chat room to talk to others about my anx!c u soonhopefully, andy

Mags 2
25-08-08, 19:08
I also had a build up of things. I went down with Labyrinthitis, which affected my balance, so I couldn't work or drive for 10 weeks. The week I went back to work, my husband had a stroke. The week he went back to work my mother was taken ill. During all this I was having problems at work with a new Line Manager.

I resigned to avoid stress, but have been treated so badly by employers, that I am now unable to work due to anxiety and panic attacks. These are mainly work related as I have been made to feel a failure. I am currently sueing employers, but the process is so stressfull that this is a viscious circle.

I feel that once it is sorted I may be able to move on - fingers crossed :winks: :unsure: :scared15:

katiedarling
26-08-08, 20:42
I put other, but really....it was both my parents dying very very young, and leaving me, old enough to raise my younger siblings, but young enough to still need parents....
This has left me feeling, alone, and scared at what life can do to you. My mom died very suddenly and unexpectedly, and this has left me with health anxiety, as I am terrified, that I am going to just suddenly drop dead like her. I am nervous that every illness I have is going to turn severe, and I obsess over my health now. My anxiety has definetly come from a traumatic event, but it wasnt really a single one. My dad died first, and then a few years later my mom died suddenly. It has been the accumulation of that....as well as raising my siblings....
Hoppi...I wanted to say thank you for this poll...I was thinking of doing one exactly the same, because I was really interested to know. Thank you for posting this.

happydylbob
27-08-08, 08:28
My anxiety started when my youngest daughter was about 4 months old she is now nearly 3 looking back I think it may have stemmed from pnd that was never dealt with after the birth of my son who is 6.

Natural Mystic
02-11-08, 19:54
Hi there,

I had a malignant melanoma last December (a mole, say they have it all) and a month later I had my first attack ... it was the fear of dying, well moreso of leaving my little boy, he's only 7.

I do think, however, that my childhood sexual abuse was a part of it too, just took years to come out.

My doctor said it's all of lifes stresses that one day just burst out, makes sense to me.

Natural Mystic
02-11-08, 19:55
My anxiety started when my youngest daughter was about 4 months old she is now nearly 3 looking back I think it may have stemmed from pnd that was never dealt with after the birth of my son who is 6.
Isn't it awful to go through this with such young children? Sometimes I am so stunned by it that I cann't function. Makes me feel so inadequate as a mother, not to mention guilty.

Natural Mystic
02-11-08, 19:56
I put other, but really....it was both my parents dying very very young, and leaving me, old enough to raise my younger siblings, but young enough to still need parents....
This has left me feeling, alone, and scared at what life can do to you. My mom died very suddenly and unexpectedly, and this has left me with health anxiety, as I am terrified, that I am going to just suddenly drop dead like her. I am nervous that every illness I have is going to turn severe, and I obsess over my health now. My anxiety has definetly come from a traumatic event, but it wasnt really a single one. My dad died first, and then a few years later my mom died suddenly. It has been the accumulation of that....as well as raising my siblings....
Hoppi...I wanted to say thank you for this poll...I was thinking of doing one exactly the same, because I was really interested to know. Thank you for posting this.
Can I just give you a great big :bighug1: and say well done you!!!!

Miss Alissa
03-11-08, 14:02
Wow – it is amazing to read all these responses – and like somebody said earlier, it is amazing how strong everybody on here is for getting up and fighting this everyday. It also amazes me that people can go through all this trauma and then seem surprised or ashamed that our minds and bodies get overwhelmed.

I’ve thought long and hard about why I’m like this and the people around me aren’t – I think it such a mixture – I’m sometimes think I’m just genetically programmed to think and feel this way because I definitely come under the ‘always been anxious’ banner but then so much of our behaviour is learnt from such a young age, I don’t think I can really say that anymore. I would also say that all those options have triggered anxious periods at some point in my life but if I were to pick the initial trigger I’d have to go with parents/upbringing too – although I’m sure that would hurt my mother to hear! My father beat and raped my mum – up until my mum, my sister and I ran away into hiding when I was about 7 years old. I couldn’t really tell you when it started, I just don’t really remember a time when there wasn’t something very real to be afraid of. And like somebody else said, if you don’t feel safe with your family in your own home that pretty much upsets everything else. Needless to say, my Dad wasn’t a great guy and although my family never see him, his actions and his presence always rear its ugly head every now and again – so I guess I learnt always to expect the bad thing to happen. Because he’d always find us and turn everything upside down again. I guess one of the worst points came during my second year at University – I was just kind of finding my feet and then I got a call to say he’d been charged with sexual abusing a child and I was being named as a witness – a horrible, horrible time – I couldn’t remember anything and the case was thrown out of court but he had other young children and the guilt that maybe I’d got it wrong and left them in danger haunted me for years. But as silly as it sounds those things don’t bother me all that much anymore – I try to look at those things as somebody else’s mistakes – not mine. But I do think that anxiety and guilt do go hand in hand – I’m suffering horribly with health anxiety at the moment – I think half of it is expecting the bad thing through habit, and also, somewhere at the bottom of it is the feeling that I must deserve the bad thing to happen to me. That I don’t deserve to have the happiness somehow. And I’d like to echo what somebody else has said here, that the closer you get to being happy – the more terrified you are of it being taken away. I know how to be afraid and anxious – I’m not sure I know how to be settled.

It sounds stupid but I never really considered any of this until I started working with a child counseling service as part of my job – it broke my heart to see children being afraid and confused – I wouldn’t have blamed a single one of them for feeling scared yet somehow I see my anxiety as a character flaw – and sometimes I hate myself for letting it get to me. It just amazes me how tough we can be on ourselves some time.

Really interesting reading – take care everybody.

xxxxxxxxx

leeann
08-11-08, 15:35
Mine started when I was 5 months pregnant. My Dad suffered 2 heart attacks, whilst we were waiting for the ambulance to arrive I was the one giving him first aid. My pulse has always been fast so I started to worry about my own heart, Plus all my Dads brother's apart from one (who's also suffered a heart attack) have died from heart attacks under the age of 50!

But the things that really topped me off. was living at home, My Mum made mine and my partners life hell living there. So I started to get high blood pressure. and was at risk of pre-eclampsia when I was pregnant. I suffered my first panic attack when I was pregnant Which put me in hospital They said my pulse went to 170 BPM. every since that day I have suffered with health anxiety and panic attacks on a daily basis.

Sorry this long x

Anna78
09-11-08, 19:34
Hi

Mine started back in jan 2008 when my mum died. I have never suffered with anxiety or panic before. It was awful i though i was going to die the first time i had a panic attack

Anna x

Diane O'Brien
18-11-08, 13:46
I ticked four, the anxiety came first with me, it was a gradual thing. Starting university, having a family working full time the course work, doing a degree. Then I started to feel lonely and isolated the world was happening but I felt out of it. I felt a bad mother, course work I was struggling with everything. Then depression but at the time I could,nt see it. I became withdrawn I actually became scared of people, I thought everyone hated me. If only I saw the signs months ago.

StellaL
18-11-08, 18:30
Mine started when my mum died suddenly in July 2008. She was 49 and the post mortem came back "unacertained" - in other words, they don't know what killed her. I never suffered from anxiety before this but over the last few months it's slowly been getting worse.

Hereford Al
21-11-08, 17:19
Working for my local council is what caused my problems. I was fine for the first 2-3 years there, but from about January I started getting more and more stressed out, cancelling days off to get the work done, working ridiculously long hours for no thanks, etc.

I tried as best I could to cope with it, but I just woke up one morning in July feeling the worst I had ever felt in my life, managed to get into work and basically broke down in tears after an hour or so. I've been signed off since then, but even the thought about going back makes me feel aggitated and dizzy. But I know that I HAVE to go back (even if it is just for a few months) otherwise all this crap will be on my record if and when I felt strong enough to apply for another job.

faraway
02-12-08, 16:22
Hi I have just joined. At home right now due to 'work related stress' and feeling scared and vulnerable. I was made redundant last March, found a new job in August, have been working very hard and enjoying it most of the time but stress has been building up. Mainly because of the extreme pressure of work and at the same time lack of support and ongoing training. Now I am 'off sick', I am getting very low, frightened to go back, doubting my capabilities, but feeling caught between a rock and a hard place as I cannot afford to not work. Yesterday was the worst day I have had for years, couldn't stop crying, so distressed I just didn't know what to do with myself. So today I googled stress and anxiety and found this site. I don't know how to use these sites yet as this is the first time I have done this. But reading Hereford Al's posting, I can relate to so much of what is said there.

Pansy
03-12-08, 21:57
I believe mine started when I got pregnant at 16. I had no choice but to get married - that's what happened back then. We were lucky enough to get our own house.............so there I was at 16 with a young baby and all the responsibilities of a wife and mother! I just was not ready for it.
So began these unreal feelings, racing heart, dry mouth, gasping for breath, wobbly legs every time I went out. So I stopped going out. There was only 'pull yourself together' advice on offer. No therapy or anything like that. I was offered valium and stuff like that, thankfully I was too frightened to take it. It was quite a few years before I started a life again. Once the kids went to school, I managed a part-time job and from then on I got control.

Fast forward to fifty years old..................Bang! the anxiety hit me for six. My blood pressure was high, the doctor said we need to get it down, don't want you to have a heart attack or stroke. Those words stuck with me, and I suffered a long bout of Health Anxiety. Every chest twinge, every ache in my neck/arm, every short breath was definitely a heart attack.
So once again I have had a battle, which I think I am starting to win. I feel better about myself.

I do have days when I feel not so good. I do have days when I worry more. But I do have days now when I don't think about my health.

To those who are suffering, I can only say keep going, there is light at the end of the tunnel. It is a hard road, but you can do it.

Good Luck
Pansy

Rennie1989
03-12-08, 22:26
I'm suprised 'thoughts' was not an option, as I find that alot of my anxiety is started by my own thinking, such as:

"A girl got attacked down my road recently."

Leading to ...

"I'm going to get attacked if I go down that road."

Leading to ...

"I'm going to get attacked if I leave my house!"


Even though alcohol, current events, health and other factors can influence my anxiety my thinking does it for me more. If I stop rethink the situation my anxiety is either less or gone.

Duckie
14-01-09, 01:05
I had mine all my life. My dad walked out on my mom when I was four years old. I still remember every detail like it happened yesterday.

I was playing in the hallway, learning to tie my first bow. I tried and tried and finally wow I got it. I had a cherry colour robe and I used the rope for that on my dad's brown leather suitcase handle. It was almost the colour of a acorn skin not the top but the body. I finally tied it. I can vaguely remember, saying Daddy look, Daddy I tied a bow! He ripped it off his suitcase handle. Took him twice to do it. Threw it on the floor. Picked up his suitcase and stormed out the door. I looked at the cherry coloured rope and thought," I don't understand, I tied a bow." I suddenly felt out of control, fear like I have never experienced before, my world was underwater, I could not breathe. I screamed for him, over and over. He never looked back, not once. He got in the car and drove away.

He never looked back at me.

That fear played an enormous around anxiety in my life. I am afraid of being left, being destroyed, feeling rejected. What my father did so much more damage after that. My step brother who was not my step brother at the time...we were in the same nursery school. My step brother would come in and say," Your Daddy is living with MY Mommy." I cried. I felt so hurt, why didn't my Dad love me anymore? Then to top it all off I had not seen my Dad in a LONG while. Seemed like an eternity for me. But he came in and I was SO happy to see him. I rushed right over to hug him but he didn't even look at me. He took my step brother into his arms and walked out. I hid in the closet where the coats were hung up (they had rows, individual closets - wooden ones). I wouldn't come out. I just stood there and sobbed, hidden by jackets infront of me.

These were the first tramua events that happened so young. At such a tender age. It scared me for life. There is so much more. :weep:

It got worse from there.

backflip95
14-01-09, 14:39
My Anixaty Started For These Reasons:
1) Started High School :nonono:
2) Was Constrenly ill (On Antibiotics) for the first 6 months of year 7 :rolleyes:
3) London Trip for my 12th birthday (Hotel Room was broken into, valuabuls taken inclusing necklase i got when i was a baby) :scared10:
4) Death Of My Best Friend :weep:
5) Depression On Being Ill :scared15:
6) Being Bullied :unsure:

As You Can See I Really Didnt Know What To Put It Under.

Any Comment Pease PM them to me.

Piebert
14-01-09, 18:24
Let's see...for me it was:


Lack of sleep
Stress at work
Not enough exercise/any exercise
Quite a poor diet
Being constantly on the go
Being rubbish at breathing (I've always been a shallow breather...and it makes you tense)
And then the very final straw - fear of being late...always the trigger with me even though the others are the underlying causes

Granny Primark
14-01-09, 18:40
1. A caring son turning into someone I really didnt feel I knew.
2. Losing my beloved dog Bruno very unexpectedly.
3. A very stressful job.
4. Working far too many hours.
5.Not keeping up with the hobbies I used to love.

yorky
14-01-09, 21:33
for as long as i can remember ive felt anxiety, nervousness,
early years at school, always tended to hide away, not wanting to picked for any social event felt realy self concious..same all through my secondery school days, realy held me back in the early days of starting work, ..
although i dont have a bad job now, it has held me back from going as far as i want to....
does anyone else suffer from flushing ,or hot on the face, eyes feeling like youve walked toward the wind..i was told by a doctor it was rosia ..tryed all sorts of gels, have good days and bad with that...(worse for a man as i cant cover it with make up).......
dont things will change much in the future..you realy feel it when you get older...not looking forward to been on my own ...getting depressed now so going to stop typing...:weep:

LACEYA1961
14-01-09, 22:01
I love threads like these because it helps us write out our thoughts and which in turns puts things into perspective.

I'm not really sure WHY all this started but I have a clue of when...it was March 2006 and it started with dizziness. But then I've had dizzy problems since the 80's but in 2006 it became chronic. I've mentioned before that it's more imbalance than dizziness but I do get that whirly feeling once in awhile. Anyway, that day I woke up and had to go somewhere and vertigo hit me in the car which made me go into what I know now was a panic attack. Then everytime I got in the car after that I had a panic attack. I still didn't know I was having panic attacks until I went to the ER in October of 2007. I've pretty much been housebound since then although I do feel as if I'm getting better the more I'm forcing myself to go places...but I only go when I have to like a dr's appointment right now. I've tried different things to make my trips more comfortable and so far they're working...sitting in the car a few minutes before leaving, sitting in the back seat which cuts out a lot of what I'm seeing out of the windows, not smoking or drinking anything that would stimulate me, not eating before going anywhere since I often feel so odd after eating, and most of all I pray a lot while in the car and before too. That's about it right now lol

Take care!

Lacey

shotokansho
15-01-09, 18:16
Hello. I ticked "other".
I think my anxiety issue was triggered from post natal depression after having my first son...it was never treated and my sons father was abusive. My anxiety gradually got worse and i started drinking. It was only when my son was around 3 years old that i got treated. There were other underlying issues that i hadn't thought about most of my life that came flooding out when i had counselling...for instance child abuse and my parents divorcing.

Horologist
17-01-09, 17:05
I had post traumatic stress without really knowing it or understanding stress, i was only 16. by the time i was 18 i had turned to drink. When drunk i didnt feel stressed, at 21 i was sober and house bound with anxiety. I couldnt reach out to anyone because mental health was for other people, it was for people who would want to stab a biro in your eye rather than talk to you. Mentally ill people cant be rational, they are unstable and this wasnt me, i had just hit a low point and id get over it, id pull myself together. It took 2 years before i realised what a small minded person i had been and had to get help.

Now at 27 and tell everyone who asks whats up with me that im mentally ill and explain more if people show an interest. I have nothing to be ashamed of anymore.

sheppeyescapee
22-01-09, 13:51
For me I think it was a variety of things. Increased expectations, starting university, lots of major life changes in a short time frame.

sunshine-lady
23-01-09, 00:28
I was mentally, sexually and physcially abused as a child

miss_moo
24-01-09, 03:05
I worked in my childrens primary school as a dinnerlady, i started when my youngest was in nursery. When my son left to go to secondry school i was sad but because my daughter still had two years to go i carried on, my daily routine was get kids up, fed, ond off to school. I would take them to school, do housework and then go to work come home for a coffee and go back again to pick her up. 18 months ago my daughter left to start high school, when i went back to work after the summer hols i decided that because my children were no longer at the school i would leave to find a full time job, it wasn't the same anyway as i usually checked on my children during the lunch hour and had a natter with them to see if they were enjoying thier day etc.
Anyways i left in the October, to find a job i wanted to do and enjoy having to plan my day around school. But within days i started feeling dizzy and anxious, which developed into PAs. Also at the time my husband had started a new job, mixing with new people, and seemed to me was leading a new exciting life. This combined i think triggered off my Anxiety, i was conscious that i was putting on weight, not as exciting as the women who he was working with, and that my babies didnt need me, i felt useless and had a really bad self image problem. I started to become parnoid about everything, looking back i was a right cow to my husband...lol.
For over a year i didnt go out and even now i wont go out alone, and have just started going back into shops (only because i had too at christmas).
But i am starting to get my confidence back, so what if im a bit overweight, hopefully i will lose it when i start doing more things. And if my husband does find those other women exciting well he can go, because i can do better.
Its just sad to think i've lost 18 months of my life to GAD and i know that there will be times when it comes back,but i know that i dont want to be that low again.
LOL sorry for the life story :)

bluegirl09
24-01-09, 17:07
i ws okay then i was a victim of a sickening violent assault about 11 years ago the bruises and the swelling left after a month but the aftermath stayed i believe it had a massive psychological effect on me as it would on anyone - no i live in a different city i never even think of it not at all but i never experience any fear or anxiety before that evenings events soo maybe thats it....now today i think my anxiety is caused by just generally being scared of life and sometimes people im very popular i go out i have lots of friends but i never let them come too close to me i guess it makes me very lonely sometimes i dont have a partner and that saddens me a lot missing out on having someone close and near and dear too me ive given up on that i havent got much too offer i dont think anyways x

xxpeachiexx
24-01-09, 17:59
i ticked no explanation at all,im still trying to figure it out,the therapsit is also trying to figure it out lol,but i get anxiety attacks bad for about 2 weeks and then for 3 months its bearable then .....whack it hits me again!
ive just started work after 6 years of looking after my grandma so hopefully being out and about will kick it where it hurts but the amitripyline helps me sleep or else i pace that much at night i wear the floorboards in!
but its great that ive found this site as there are so many nice people on here who understand and dont think of you as if you are some kind of freak as its hard sometimes for people to understand who have never experianced somthing like anxiety/panic attacks,even my doctor looks clueless sometimes!!! xx

Calmcat
25-01-09, 01:05
Mine started when i got accepted to do my PhD, looking back I can see it clearly but at the time I had no idea what was going on. It started gradually with dizziness and anxiety about going out socially in the evenings up until I stopped work to go back to university (aged 25), then i had two weeks off between and had panic attacks and was v scared and didn't know what it was then it spiralled and I ended up moving home with my parents and taking citalopram. Now 5 years on I have my PhD but I've been on citalopram twice, had CBT and now more councelling- I was always a nervous child but this was the last straw, but I think it would have happenend eventually anyway with another stressful situation. I was worried about how much expectation there was on me.

Sillyblondegirl
25-01-09, 02:39
I was house cleaning when my middle daughter was 3 months old. I was going back and forth to the dumpster we had rented outside throwing out things I was tired of. All of the sudden I couldn't catch my breath and got dizzy, my chest felt like I was being crushed.I called the Dr and they said to go to the hospital. I went to the ER thinking I was having a heart attack! ( I was 34 then-37 now) That is when mine first started. Been going on ever since. Finally realized it isnt my heart, it is anxiety. Im on citalopram and alprazolam, occasionally. I hate the shaking and dizziness right before I get an attack....I can be just standing at home washing the dishes thinking about nothing...I wish they would just go away. I am not having the "chest pain" as badly with the citalopram.

Fenlon
27-01-09, 15:32
1st Post Here :D

Mine began in december, I'm a regular marijuana user and i've never had problems with smoking it. I was working at my computer and all of a sudden felt my throat tighten. I couldn't figure out what it was (Globus Hystericus) at the time and it really started to bug me and in the back of my mind I was thinking it could be cancerous (Stupid decision)

Anyway my cousin came round and as I would on a friday I got setup for a good night with a few smokes.

I finished my 1st Roll and all of a sudden I felt my throat tighten on me again, really bad, it freaked me out and I began to enter a Panic Attack. Fortunatly I have seen my friend go through an attack before so I instantly knew what I was experiencing and managed to bring myself round.

All night I was afraid of smoking incase it made it worse as I had gotten it into my head that I had throat cancer. My cousin then let me feel his throat and the lump I assumed was cancer was prominient on his neck. I felt much better after that...

Now 2 months later I have had many symptoms of anxiety, I quit smoking for 2 weeks with no effect. I began staying home more with no effect. I was afraid of anxiety...

I now realise that you can't avoid it, you can't change how you live your life because of Anxiety. If I stay home I know in my head I'm home because I dont want anxiety to effect me, but in doing so I'm still thinking about it and avoiding it rather than overcoming it.

My Tip to all sufferers is to try your best to lead your life as you would before any of your anxiety symptoms happened. If you were happy before, then there is no reason why you can't be happy now. Keep your heads up people :)

Peace

s0fresh
31-01-09, 10:17
My anxiety started as far back as I can remember. It wasn't nearly as bad as it is now but I think it all started because of the way I grew up. My parents has a very rocky unhappy marriage so I grew up with lots of fighting and hostility. My mother is also an alcoholic and I think that was one of the causes. I used to think I was having heart attacks at 7 years old and went to numerous doctors and spent many nights growing up breathing into a paper bag so I was always a nervous wreck lol.
My Panic attacks and agoraphobia got out of control and horrible 2 and a half years ago after my older brother passed away at 23. I guess I have a few causes but the sudden and unexpected passing of my brother is definitely what made it as bad as it is. I've still yet to talk to a psychologist but I also have social anxiety and am scared of even calling one lol.

Auxman
31-01-09, 18:48
Dad dying when I was a kid, also unbearable homesickness. I left Liverpool when I was 17, a very vulnerable age.

ana
02-02-09, 20:43
I have lived through a war when I was a kid, developed series of fears and phobias that finally resulted in anxiety disorder...

MrDoll
18-02-09, 23:26
I was bullied as a kid but never got any help about it so i've always had depression.
But the anxiety i think got worse when i quite smoking and all my friends started leaving for uni or just moving house.
So been a bit friendless made things worse.
Also my cat that i've had for 17 years died last august which really upset me as he was like a best friend for me :(.

alisia
25-02-09, 16:36
My parents died within a few months of each other.My mum had a heart attack age 59 & my died had colon cancer at 54.This was over 20 years ago but it still affects me greatly now.My health anxiety rules my life :weep:

paulskin
25-02-09, 19:42
dont expect anyone to read this as its long

firstly ticked- upbringing because,

my mum was always an alcoholic which i was aware of from a very early age like 8 years old,always remember both parents arguing and fighting.my mum had my sister when i was 10,she drank through the pregnancy which left my sister with various health issues include a curved spine and faetal alcohol syndrome,and in the beggining i was still coming home from school to find mum drunk and sister crying,having to drain all of her hidden bottles of booze and call my dad out of work-this was mostly every week.my sister was taken away into full time social care.cant remember what age as this was a horrible time and my brain refuses to remember this.my dad finaly had enough when i was about 12 and made my um leave us,i was all ok with it i felt it was best.

also ticked drugs and bad crowd-as i reached my teens started experimenting with allsorts from ciggarettes to ectasy,i was soon a regular heavy user of most recreational drugs at ages 15-17,hanging with all that crowd getting into troble.then i had a traumatic experiance with magic mushrooms,took a strong dose and thought i was overdosing,heart pounding couldnt breathe, i thought it was a heart attack,turns out it was a serious panic attack which then came on everytime i was in a situation around drugs or the same sort of people. so i stopped everything drugs,fags.

then the health symptoms started headaches were brain tumors ect ect

i shortend this almost life story towards the end as i dont have time to write now.

im gonna read the rest of peoples storys soon.

krog
06-03-09, 21:15
Hi all,

Mis-diagnosed TIA or mini-stroke two and a half years ago.
This led to an un-recognised health anxiety which led to panic attacks.
The anxiety issue was finally diagnosed six months ago but up until that point I had two years of festering doubt over my health.

On a positive note, at least I now have something to 'cure' :D

Cheers,
krog.

PoppyC
06-03-09, 21:24
I have always been anxious since a little girl. It has dominated and helped ruin a great deal of my life for over 30 years. I was brought up in a a tense fraught atmosphere where there was constant arguments between my parents, my mum being a nasty vicious alcoholic for years and who still is, sexual abuse, a lot of being hit, a lot of being shouted at and put down. I felt and still to this day feel, very insecure and vulnerable.I last got hit at the age of 17 and left home. Growing up in my home was awful. I remember shaking with anxiety when I was as young as 7 years old. All my sisters and brothers are on medication for anxiety and depression.

i hate panicking
06-03-09, 21:31
mine were triggered from a long time ago...and two traumatic births :weep:

NoPoet
06-03-09, 21:48
"Something about the world is scary" -- it was the only one which seemed to fit, as a few bad things have happened this year which I consider serious and they've been building up over time.

Probably the whole concept of mortality is what triggered my depression to come back. I'm not so scared that I might die, I'm scared I might lose a loved one. If I spent as much time having fun with my loved ones as I do worrying about them, life would probably be perfect.

tskin
20-03-09, 22:21
Still not sure what triggered this episode. My first episode (2007) was the result of several actual virus's - I was mostly healthy through my childhood years so it came as a shock and reminded me that I wasn't invincible.

This episode (2009-) I think may be to do with leaving home and going to University as well as now living in a fairly dangerous area. Considering going back home, but don't want to worry my mother too much so kind of stuck.

angel 2
23-03-09, 07:59
I think mine has been triggered by losing my mum and dad, uncles and aunts,cousins that are really close.A big family that is diminishing fast.Everytime someone leaves to either go to work,holdiay or even go to sleep I panic. Now as I am entering this menopause phase it's another stage of my life where you realise you're getting older and the inevitable will happen and I find it difficult coping.

pinkpiglet
24-03-09, 17:23
I come from a family of anxiety sufferers so i was always going to be at risk of suffering myself. I did, but managed to live pretty normally and found i could control my anxiety within several years. However, my beloved Nan died last year after suffering dementia and began to suffer really bad after her death. My psychiatrist told me that it was berheavment anxiety! I havent been the same since.

Erinath
26-03-09, 18:48
For me I think it was so many different things building up: living in an incredibly volatile household when I was growing up certainly laid down the groundwork what with an uncaring mother and an intimidating & scary father, then we were involved in a horrendous car accident when I was about 9 & I suffered from what I now realise was PTSD, that's round about the time I experienced my first ever panic attack ... from then on things kinda went downhill. Regular upheaval therefore never able to feel settled anywhere, my father totally deserting us all, my mother being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, my brother being diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia & me being mid teens left with caring for them both ... all added to it (and those are just the edited highlights).

Jhey
28-03-09, 03:32
I do get anxious a bit, but I don't think I have it that bad, although I do have that lump in my throat business... God it's frustrating

Krakers
29-04-09, 23:52
Hi all - I've had to tick "other".

After recently having some good old CBT, theres soooo many things that came out (half of which I'd forgot about), that theres no way I could point to one trigger.

The alcohol made it worse, but I was self medding by then so it didn't start it.

I honestly don't know is the answer, likewise why it took 3 years to drop to a level where I can now function every day normally again (still got background anx, but then, who hasn't?).

One thing I did take away from CBT (already knew, but needed telling) was that I was trying to control too much. For an impulsive person that sounded weird, but when I thought about it, its spot on.

Couldn't control the bills, so worried about them. Couldn't control family passing away, worried about that. Couldn't control work circumstance, so worried about that. Those and hundreds of other little things I didn't even conciously realise.

Maybe it was everything that started my anxiety and not just a single event.

Anyways, I've stopped looking for the reason and just to the future. I'm certainly a lot happier now even though a lot of the things I worried about are still there, I just know I can't control them so don't try.

Krakers.

charlie32
02-07-09, 12:04
Hi guys

Ive ticked a couple but i think it mainly started when I was growing up.
My Dad was a drug addict and my Mum worked a lot and was angry most of the time. There were a lot of visits to rehabs to visit Dad and we always kept it in the family and did't tell anyone else about it. Both of them have now worked out a lot of their issues but somewhere I learned that I couldn't really rely on anyone and had to look out for myself.
That has left me feeling that I can't really trust anyone and I dont have many close relationships because of this, which of course leaves me on my own and lonely a lot.
I think I have been building up like a pressure cooker for years till it all came on top of me.
I've gone from someone who has to do everything to someone who can't do anything without help.
I just feel overwhelmed at the mo.

Nicky123
17-07-09, 09:19
hello.. I ticked a single traumatic experience.

I belive it started with me when I was 25 years old and pregnant with my third child. I had massive abruption which led to a huge lifes blood loss and the baby being still born. I had no idea until I was out of hospital and my doctor came to visit me.. just how much of a dangerous situation I had been in. He told me that someone must of been watching over me that day because my organs were giving up and I had lost 8 pints of blood.. was given 14 pints of water which in turn meant I was in danger of drowning. As soon as my baby was delivered.. my blood started to thicken and my organs began to function better. My family told me they were told to be prepared. This really shocked me. I googled abruption and read up on it. Its not that common and you are very very unlucky if it happens to you because most often.. the mother and baby die. So .. since that day.. I have now become aware of things going on in my body and worry worry worry all the time. I worry about dvt very much as I have very bad varicose veins.. I worry about cancer. In fact.. this is a big step for me to actually admit it because I can't bear to talk about it. But this is where I belive it all started. I never used to go to the doctors unless I was really really sick.. now.. I am never away. In my head I think... if an abruption can happen to me.. to me.. something soooo very rare.. a fit healthy person.. what else can happen to me.

tim73
17-07-09, 11:55
Hi,

I ticked that it just suddenly started as all that happened was I woke up early one morning and the whole thing kicked off, and hasn't stopped.

There may have been a trigger though, in that I got some kind of bruising injury on the inside joint of a finger. However that was something I totally dismissed when it happened and never thought any more of it. Perhaps it was aggravated by going out on my bike though. No immediate after effects though, just next morning I wake up with this thing going on.

Maybe it's subconciously connected with other things. i.e. occasional twinges or cramps in my left arm, and a year ago I had chest pains, feeling feint and pounding heart which were at the time put down to anxiety (was given propranolol at the time, which fixed it and never thought much about it after that. The propranolol is doing nothing for it now though).

Generally I consider myself to be reasonably fit. A little obsessed with the belly "bulge" sometimes, but I'm in no way overweight and exercise reasonably often (2 or 3 hours a week mountain biking at least).

Emaa
19-07-09, 04:27
A single traumatic experience
Gradually increased by itself over time (with no real explanation)
Parents/upbringing


They're the boxes I ticked..
I can remember times from when I was really young, maybe as young as 7-8 when I used to panic myself over blood clots. So I guess I've always had it, it's just worsened over time. My step father also suffers with health anxiety (although he doesn't know what it is, and won't admit it) he used to tell me as a child that something was seriously wrong with him and he was going to die ect. Once when I was young and I had a bruise I didn't know where it came from he told me blood clots can cause this.

I got my nose broken at the age of 15 (I think) and he told me that if you hit someone in the right place that the nose can go into the skull and kill you. This started my anxiety off, I was obsessed this was happening to me.

Whilst I've always had it, I don't think it would be anywhere as near as bad as it is now if he hadn't have told me the things he did.

Even now, I haven't seen him in years, and when I get anxious I still think of things he's told me and obsess over them.

BLUEROSE1981
19-07-09, 04:28
postnatal depression triggered mine,

scaredtattyteddy
19-07-09, 21:48
Mine came on after i lost my poor dad due to lung cancer in 2006 he had been healthy and well, a non smoker or drinker and it happened so suddenly and quickly and loosing a family member had always worried me. now i worry ill get the same thing, at the moment i have chest pain which i wish would go away.Went to the doctors with it two weeks ago who checked me over and said i was ok :( so unfair being worried about health all the time.

tasia
22-07-09, 21:14
My dad had two nervous breakdowns...sometimes it can run in familys.. i started self harming in my 20s and still do it from time to time..then i lost both my parents..I took my mums death very badly. loosing my dad started off my depression and anxiety...my depression got better but anxiety and panic attacks have never left me and the self harming started up again when my mum died...

Maisey
24-08-09, 19:30
Who realy knows the first time I can remember was when my daughter was about 3 months old, my parents came to look after her and my son, I was going to go shopping with my sisters, just about to leave when I was affraid to leave the house,that was the begining. 31 years later and here I am.

Thumbelina
24-08-09, 19:59
for me mainly encreased over the times with stress and events.

First time happened when i broke up with my boyfriend - i think that was when i had my first sort panic attack.
Many years after - when i was married and got my first child i guess pregnancy and delivery was something i wasnt prepared to plus family problems later, mooving countried too often, and just too many things happening...made my head spin a bit.....
then I became convinved something was terribly wrong with my body, then ER many times, then more confusion, then 1 year after GAD diagnosed, and 3 years later here I am, knowing much more then then, but stil scared to have attacks and become depressed.....

Laila-Saphire
25-08-09, 15:15
I have had many reasons from the age of 12 but my most recent is because i am living with someone who is verging on bipolar it is a very hard disease to live with im not one for dealing well with change but obviously my partner has mood swings all over the place and this has left me feeling very alone and has worn me down. My partner is the most important thing to me in the world and we can both get through our problems but it is hard. I have suffered wrong breathing panic attacks and globus as an effect but i'm possitive we will get better!

thejesmonddingo
19-09-09, 16:43
I had a stroke 2 months ago with good physical recovery but now have frequent panic attacks,which are disrupting my life and recovery.
ian