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30-09-16, 07:26
We all do it from time to time, us anxiety sufferers. I've made huge strides with my anxiety, as anyone who remember my early days on the forum will know. However, I'm prone to the occasional bout of irrational worry. I manage it much better now, but here's a little story from the past few days that demonstrates how far from our worst fears things can often turn out to be.
Over the past couple of weeks, I've been noticing flickering in my vision. I've had vision worries in the past, but these were completely assuaged by an eye test which showed my peepers to be good health. Nevertheless, I wasn't too pleased to have to try to CBTerise yet another symptom. I tried to stay calm, but there were some things that didn't add up.
Firstly, I realised that I only seemed to notice this in my bedroom. Why was this, I wondered? This caused me to begin monitoring my vision for flickering whenever I wasn't in my bedroom. This, in turn, started to give me headaches as I focused so intensely on my field of vision, constantly monitored what I was seeing and tried to discern if I was experiencing this odd symptom anywhere else.
It didn't seem to matter how hard I tried, I couldn't spot this thing anywhere else but in my bedroom. I couldn't decide if that was something to worry about or to be reassured by. Naturally, I was worried that this might be a genuine symptom of something beyond anxiety, although I did keep my worry in check quite well.
The rational part of my brain began to wonder if it could be my bedroom lights. I keep them on a lot as I prefer to keep my blinds down (not drawn) and it makes it easier to do the many and varied things I do when alone in my room. :scared15:
I started to monitor the lights. Were they flickering? Was that all it was? Try as I might, I couldn't catch them in the act. I began to assume that they probably were the culprit, but I lacked evidence, and my eyes do sometimes slip in and out of a bit of what feels like derealisation, which often comes with a slight darkening of my visual field. The point is, I didn't know what to think. But I knew I didn't want to go back to the doctor yet again.
And then I got my answer. I was having a brief moment where I wasn't thinking about the symptom, and I happened to be looking upwards for a moment for no particular reason. And I saw it! It was the lights! Those bloody lights! Maybe a bulb is about to die or perhaps we get momentary interruptions in our electricity supply. I don't know. But I don't care!
Anyway, my point is that it's so easy to let your mind run away with you. I contained my worry pretty well in that I did rationalise to some extent, I resisted the urge to visit the doctor and just accepted what was going on, but I still gave myself a few nasty headaches thanks to the strain of the constant checking. It was all unnecessary.
I hope this story provided some amusement. Health anxiety can be amusing at times. I do like to poke fun at myself. For example, I once got a psychiatrist out of bed to tell them I had schizophrenia, only to be told it was Generalised Anxiety Disorder and that I should take some diazepam and go to bed. He was right. And I did. :yesyes:
On a more serious note, I hope everybody here beats this nasty demon that torments us so. We can do it, you know.
Over the past couple of weeks, I've been noticing flickering in my vision. I've had vision worries in the past, but these were completely assuaged by an eye test which showed my peepers to be good health. Nevertheless, I wasn't too pleased to have to try to CBTerise yet another symptom. I tried to stay calm, but there were some things that didn't add up.
Firstly, I realised that I only seemed to notice this in my bedroom. Why was this, I wondered? This caused me to begin monitoring my vision for flickering whenever I wasn't in my bedroom. This, in turn, started to give me headaches as I focused so intensely on my field of vision, constantly monitored what I was seeing and tried to discern if I was experiencing this odd symptom anywhere else.
It didn't seem to matter how hard I tried, I couldn't spot this thing anywhere else but in my bedroom. I couldn't decide if that was something to worry about or to be reassured by. Naturally, I was worried that this might be a genuine symptom of something beyond anxiety, although I did keep my worry in check quite well.
The rational part of my brain began to wonder if it could be my bedroom lights. I keep them on a lot as I prefer to keep my blinds down (not drawn) and it makes it easier to do the many and varied things I do when alone in my room. :scared15:
I started to monitor the lights. Were they flickering? Was that all it was? Try as I might, I couldn't catch them in the act. I began to assume that they probably were the culprit, but I lacked evidence, and my eyes do sometimes slip in and out of a bit of what feels like derealisation, which often comes with a slight darkening of my visual field. The point is, I didn't know what to think. But I knew I didn't want to go back to the doctor yet again.
And then I got my answer. I was having a brief moment where I wasn't thinking about the symptom, and I happened to be looking upwards for a moment for no particular reason. And I saw it! It was the lights! Those bloody lights! Maybe a bulb is about to die or perhaps we get momentary interruptions in our electricity supply. I don't know. But I don't care!
Anyway, my point is that it's so easy to let your mind run away with you. I contained my worry pretty well in that I did rationalise to some extent, I resisted the urge to visit the doctor and just accepted what was going on, but I still gave myself a few nasty headaches thanks to the strain of the constant checking. It was all unnecessary.
I hope this story provided some amusement. Health anxiety can be amusing at times. I do like to poke fun at myself. For example, I once got a psychiatrist out of bed to tell them I had schizophrenia, only to be told it was Generalised Anxiety Disorder and that I should take some diazepam and go to bed. He was right. And I did. :yesyes:
On a more serious note, I hope everybody here beats this nasty demon that torments us so. We can do it, you know.