Giving myself a snap to avoid thinking about her?

[JustBenn]

Hi, just in the process of trying to get over a girl ive been with for nearly 8 months and its been 2 weeks and I cant stop thinking about her, its ruining my life,

This may seem nuts but i'm wearing a rubber band and everytime I find myself thinking about her, i give myself a snap, it does seem to work, though in the early stages I seem to be snapping myself quite a bit.

Do you think its a good idea or could this cause any issues in the brain, not sure how it works.

[ServerError]

You say it works for you, but there is no evidence it really works. It's impossible to suppress thoughts. If I told you not to think of a blue tomato, the first thing you'd think of is a blue tomato.

Thought and emotion suppression is unhealthy and exhausting. Take that rubber band off. It's healthy to feel whatever comes up regarding tie break up (assuming you're not uncontrollably angry or severely depressed). You need to talk about it. You also need people around you with whom you can spend time doing other things. In time, the pain will subside.

But please, stop with the rubber band. It won't work.

[dale12345]

I asked my therapist about that he said it is an old fashioned technique that doesn't work.

[JustBenn]

I don't have many friends and the ones I do have are not close enough to talk about my feelings too, I just don't want to think about her anymore, I keep picturing her sleeping with another guy its really making me depressed. Also she works in the same store as me so its hard to not bump into each other, I feel using the rubber band could help.

[MyNameIsTerry]

It's called Aversion Therapy, they used to use it to treat alcoholics.

I'm wary in someone with "OCD" in their username using this as it could easily become a compulsion. If you have say an intrusive thought and you react with this, it will be compulsion and will reinforce the intrusive thoughts. The way to deal with intrusive thoughts is to react as littler as possible to them, accept and let them go. Don't react with negatives, it just reinforces the need for them to exist.

[LittleMissAlone]

Broken hearts are painful for everyone, people with anxiety or not. Its just a natural human emotion, proves you're alive! It's normal to think about the person and feel sad, especially if they've moved on. Been there done that, as have most people. Also 2 weeks is nothing. Even 2 months.

I had the elastic band technique suggested to me to try and prevent me from telling myself I can't do something though I never actually tried it. But trying to get over someone, I agree with the previous poster, you need to talk it through. Also divert yourself and it'll lessen with time.

[sarahsarah]

Two weeks to get over an 8 month relationship is nothing. Being upset and thinking about someone after you split up is perfectly normal. Just think, you are a human being who is capable of loving someone and feeling emotion -that is actually a really wonderful thing, even though you probably don't feel that right now, far from it in fact. To be over someone who you spent 8 months with in a couple of short weeks isn't really realistic nor desireable, really. Allow yourself to grieve the relationship otherwise you won't be able to move on. Only someone really heartless would be over it already and you really don't want to be like that if you can help it. Ditch the rubber band and don't even try to suppress these feelings, just let them out.

Don't forget this is all part of life and is perfectly normal and shows you can love and that is a fantastic thing xx

[dale12345]

Two weeks to get over an 8 month relationship is nothing. Being upset and thinking about someone after you split up is perfectly normal. Just think, you are a human being who is capable of loving someone and feeling emotion -that is actually a really wonderful thing, even though you probably don't feel that right now, far from it in fact. To be over someone who you spent 8 months with in a couple of short weeks isn't really realistic nor desireable, really. Allow yourself to grieve the relationship otherwise you won't be able to move on. Only someone really heartless would be over it already and you really don't want to be like that if you can help it. Ditch the rubber band and don't even try to suppress these feelings, just let them out.

Don't forget this is all part of life and is perfectly normal and shows you can love and that is a fantastic thing xx
I agree completely it will take a little time.

[JustBenn]

I'd like to get over her quick, she broke it off with me, so I think i'm hurting more than she is, and also we work in the same place, she still wants to be friends, but how can I be friends if I'm not over her, it will be torture for me. seeing her flirt with other guys.

[Super_Freaked]

i think you will find it best to not be friends or talk to her for a while, especially if she broke up, and especially when she gets lonely or wants to talk to you, she broke up with you, over the longterm you will be SO pleased if you now refuse to talk with her for a while, and play aloof.

The only cure for this is to think of bad things about her and why you don't like her (hard i know your down the rabbit hole) and you must meet someone else, even someone that is out of your league, but also someone nicer, funner or whatever.. it's the quickest cure is to have your attention on someone else.

but yes, try to stay away from her so you don't see her flirting, try to avoid her at all costs, no matter how bad you want to talk and wine to her about it, just avoid talking and say you got to go, the more level headed you approach this the better you will feel longer term.

Hold your head up, take the pain and use this time to improve yourself for your next partner, and if she comes begging back to you, make her wait weeks before you commit in any sort of way..

[SLA]

How old are you if you dont mind me asking?

Work through it. Realise there are nicer girls out there. Boost your confidence, and get out there again.

[MyNameIsTerry]

i think you will find it best to not be friends or talk to her for a while, especially if she broke up, and especially when she gets lonely or wants to talk to you, she broke up with you, over the longterm you will be SO pleased if you now refuse to talk with her for a while, and play aloof.

The only cure for this is to think of bad things about her and why you don't like her (hard i know your down the rabbit hole) and you must meet someone else, even someone that is out of your league, but also someone nicer, funner or whatever.. it's the quickest cure is to have your attention on someone else.

but yes, try to stay away from her so you don't see her flirting, try to avoid her at all costs, no matter how bad you want to talk and wine to her about it, just avoid talking and say you got to go, the more level headed you approach this the better you will feel longer term.

Hold your head up, take the pain and use this time to improve yourself for your next partner, and if she comes begging back to you, make her wait weeks before you commit in any sort of way..

That will just create more resentment for her and that will continue when she sees other men.

Forgiveness is better. Acceptance is better.