View Full Version : 16, worried sick about medical conditions. HELP
16, Male. 5"3, 45KG (dropped 3KG due to anxiety)
Hello all, I apologise for this lengthy post, but I am in real, desperate need of help. On 5 August my grandfather succumbed to stomach cancer, and that left me in a bit of a shock. As a worrier since a young boy, (countless ER trips due to racing heart) I felt very afraid. Then, subconsciously my supposedly "gotten rid off" anxiety started to flare up again. My anxiety symptoms are the worst, I felt like dying. I feel like everyday is my last.
Recently however, since the last 3 weeks or so, I have been developing really unorthodox fears of cancer causing things. I cover my nose when vehicles pass by, I stay away from anything that gives out hot heat, I don't eat chicken skin. The list goes on. From that point, I started to feel scared of the night. Slowly, it became a daily thing. Anxiety attacks me every time. That, coupled with random pains in my body, and daily fever ONLY ON MY HEAD (i dont feel sick at all), convinced me of getting a terminal illness.
Moreover, I have swollen lymph nodes. THAT really set me off. I have got to 2 GPs in 2 different countries (Yes, COUNTRY) and both dismissed my fears as they claimed I was too "young" and one even jokingly said, "at 16, it's time to enjoy life, get a girlfriend, don't get so worried". Only one doctor cared to check my lymph nodes and said "they aren't even big!". I knew it was big. She just briefly checked my nodes and dismissed it as minute, but when I'm home and check myself all over, My nodes below the jaw on BOTH sides are swollen and HUGE. I have researched about nodes before and I swore to myself I would never search that again ; some crazy scare I got.
NOW, I have been referred to a mental hospital to get in touch with a psychiatrist and with my major GCE O levels exams coming up, I REALLY REALLY CANNOT DECIDE AND THINK STRAIGHT I REALLY REALLY NEED HELP I AM TRYING TO GET REASSURANCE FROM YOU GUYS PLEASE HELP ME :(
A big thing jumps out at me when reading your post, and that is your insistence that you know better than a doctor. You say that you were just "dismissed" and that upon inspection yourself, you reckon both lymph nodes are swollen. I have to ask, but how do you know? Do you go around feeling people's lymph nodes? Because doctors do.
Doctors know the difference between swollen nodes and normal nodes, it's one of the most basic skills in medicine. If you continue to have the attitude that you know better than anyone who tries to reassure you, then you will get absolutely nowhere.
Of course, this is merely an example of your anxiety talking. You probably know deep down inside that no doctor on earth would dismiss you if they thought there were actually a problem, but anxiety has ways of throwing up mental blocks.
At this point in time it's difficult to reassure you, as you've said yourself that repeated doctor visits haven't done so. I can only advise that you should certainly go for any recommended treatment for your real problem, which is anxiety. Your physical symptoms are certainly being caused by anxiety, that much is obvious, it's now about you trying to steer yourself away from such irrational and negative thinking. You'll get help with that I'm sure.
I wish you the best with your treatment.
Gary is absolutely correct.
You should be reassured that you have seen the Doctor, and they have given you a green light to move on.
I know how bad it feels. I spent a good few weeks worrying about my lymph nodes 2 years ago. But… the more you focus on them, the more your brain will try and find reasons to be concerned.
So instead, you need to move your focus to other things. It sounds simple, but it is exactly what you need to do.
Start small. Go for a 30 minute walk, and allow yourself to completely relax and accept the world as it is. Do not make judgements, or think about anything.
If you want, you can worry about your lymph nodes when you get back, but just give yourself permission to enjoy 30 minutes out in the fresh air.
The goal is to break the cycle of despair, consistently and often.
My nodes are visibly big, around 1.5 cm in size if I position my jaw in a certain position. However, I am going to take your words as my reassurance ; that doctors know more than I do.
Thank you, Gary.
---------- Post added at 21:15 ---------- Previous post was at 21:11 ----------
Starting from tommorow, I will try doing some exercises to "focus on other things" thanks for the kind words, SLA.
Gary is absolutely correct.
You should be reassured that you have seen the Doctor, and they have given you a green light to move on.
I know how bad it feels. I spent a good few weeks worrying about my lymph nodes 2 years ago. But… the more you focus on them, the more your brain will try and find reasons to be concerned.
So instead, you need to move your focus to other things. It sounds simple, but it is exactly what you need to do.
Start small. Go for a 30 minute walk, and allow yourself to completely relax and accept the world as it is. Do not make judgements, or think about anything.
If you want, you can worry about your lymph nodes when you get back, but just give yourself permission to enjoy 30 minutes out in the fresh air.
The goal is to break the cycle of despair, consistently and often.
First off, I'm sorry about your grandfather. The impact of his passing and circumstances have certainly affected you in a negative way.
I'm a head and neck cancer survivor. I know all about nodes. I agree with the previous posters that you don't. Your "perceptions" are your beliefs however I have to discount their accuracy. Only a trained physician can determine node size and even then, they're not 100% accurate as my case and countless other survivors can attest to.
One thing you need to try to do immediately is stop poking and prodding your nodes. That can and does cause them to swell and they can even become shotty (permanently swollen) due to the constant aggravation.
There was a member here that obsessed with his nodes and lymphoma. For "years" he constantly posted about it. Countless doctors and tests proved otherwise but his anxiety wouldn't allow him to believe it. He poked and prodded the nodes in his groin to the point they were shotty. He finally found a doctor who did an invasive procedure (surgical removal and biopsy) to determine once and for all what was going on. Of course, it was negative. He STILL didn't believe it.
Don't become that person! Seek help in the form of counseling and/or meds not only for your anxiety but to help cope with your loss.
Good luck and positive thoughts
Hi Dannysky,
Believe the doctors who say you are okay. They aren't fools.
Believe Fishmanpa when he gives hands-on evidence about cancer - seriously, he's been through it, suffered it and still does. Most of us are just wimps compared to that.
Thank you for emphatizing my situation, and responding to my worrisome queries on my nodes.
I will try my best to stop prodding my nodes ( I don't poke them in fear of them bursting ). My last question is, is it normal to have swollen nodes on both sides of my neck under the jaw ? I don't seem to have any other nodes on my body but I am terrified.
Thank you, Fishmanpa
First off, I'm sorry about your grandfather. The impact of his passing and circumstances have certainly affected you in a negative way.
I'm a head and neck cancer survivor. I know all about nodes. I agree with the previous posters that you don't. Your "perceptions" are your beliefs however I have to discount their accuracy. Only a trained physician can determine node size and even then, they're not 100% accurate as my case and countless other survivors can attest to.
One thing you need to try to do immediately is stop poking and prodding your nodes. That can and does cause them to swell and they can even become shotty (permanently swollen) due to the constant aggravation.
There was a member here that obsessed with his nodes and lymphoma. For "years" he constantly posted about it. Countless doctors and tests proved otherwise but his anxiety wouldn't allow him to believe it. He poked and prodded the nodes in his groin to the point they were shotty. He finally found a doctor who did an invasive procedure (surgical removal and biopsy) to determine once and for all what was going on. Of course, it was negative. He STILL didn't believe it.
Don't become that person! Seek help in the form of counseling and/or meds not only for your anxiety but to help cope with your loss.
Good luck and positive thoughts
---------- Post added at 22:19 ---------- Previous post was at 22:16 ----------
I admire that he goes through that, and even gives reassurance to wimps like me. Maybe I'll try to be a little less worried.
Thanks, Hanshan
Hi Dannysky,
Believe the doctors who say you are okay. They aren't fools.
Believe Fishmanpa when he gives hands-on evidence about cancer - seriously, he's been through it, suffered it and still does. Most of us are just wimps compared to that.
My last question is, is it normal to have swollen nodes on both sides of my neck under the jaw ?
Dannysky,
As I said, I don't believe they're "swollen" in the clinical sense. If they were, a doctor would have affirmed that. You "believe" they are thus they are in your mind. The fact you keep referring to them as "swollen" backs up my statement.
Positive thoughts
Same here, only that I'm 13. I'd trust your doctor. They've definitely dealt with many more cases than you have. If only I had the guts to go to a doctor :/. Both lymph nodes under my jaw on my neck are swollen if that helps. The one on my right started swelling when I started prodding so I'm not sure if that's the case.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.