Things are going well in my life, HA is testing me

[KatiePink]

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to update on my struggle with HA. Recently things have being going well in my life :ohmy::ohmy::ohmy:
Shock horror! That never happens hehe

So obviously my anxiety has decided this feels unsettling.

Let me explain a bit.. i have recently started to make progress in a personal area of my life that has been a big dark cloud following me around for many years(wont go into details) and i'm so so happy and can finally see a happy ending.

On top of this i was recently offered an A-MAZING job, i went for this job not thinking i would have a chance, i was sweating, shaking and just terrible before the interview, but i did surprisingly well.
They called me the same day and offered me the position subject to references and a dbs check. I was in such shock. I start at the end of this month.

This job will completely change my life, so there is so much anxiety around this, i've been in and out of work for quite some time due to anxiety so my mind is in overdrive "It needs to go right"!

First off my worries were regarding the actual job and something going wrong, i.e one of the references they want for a similar position i held over 5 years ago, they are having trouble contacting, due to the company no longer operating, i am fearing that they will just say we can't have you anymore lol! My partner is great and is constantly the rational one.

Then my HA started to get more severe, after the interview i noticed i had very bad neck and shoulder tension(again) it got so bad that i could hardly move, strange feelings in my face and shoulders, tingling, sharp shooting pains, mainly the front and side of my neck is extremely tense. Ive been doing what i can to correct this, and it has improved slightly.
I can't seem to shake the thought that something else may be causing my neck problems, it's worrying me that i will get really bad for when i start this job and ruin everything.

I know my posture can be bad, and i have lumbar lordosis(self diagnosed) but it's pretty damn obvious, i use my phone far too much and therefore believe i have bad neck posture. So why can't i accept that this is all it is and i can correct it?

I keep convincing myself its a spine condition or something degenerative.
I'm having heart worries too and am just in a place where i need to stop this health anxiety in it's tracks before it sods everything up.

I feel like one part of my brain wants to ruin a good thing all the time and i need to fight that little ***** :roflmao:

Any tips, advice welcome

:)

[SLA]

I feel like one part of my brain wants to ruin a good thing all the time and i need to fight that little ***** :roflmao:

:)

THIS IS GOOD, BUT!

So it is great that you have identified that you feel one part of your brain is trying to sabotage things. You have dis-associated you from the thoughts that your brain sometimes throws your way.

You don't need to fight it.

The more you try and fight and supress these thoughts, the more they will happen.

I do 3 things when these negative/intrusive thoughts about my health come into my head.


1 – Label

Whenever I have an intrusive/unhelpful thought, I give it a name. They are called my “Pink Elephants” because of the example I give in this article (http://www.startinglifeagain.com/2016/09/26/3-steps-to-beating-intrusivenegative-thoughts/). Once you spot them, and label them as harmless, they lose all power and you can move on to stage 2...

2 – Accept

When they occur, accept them. They happen, and there is nothing you can do about them. When you start trying to resist them, it adds fuel to the fire. So label them, accept them and then…

3 – Move On
Carry on with whatever you were doing before hand. It might take you many attempts in the early days, if you are still new to having them. You might have to go through these 3-steps ten times. But persist with this strategy, and eventually they will go completely.

Give it a try!

[KatiePink]

THIS IS GOOD, BUT!

So it is great that you have identified that you feel one part of your brain is trying to sabotage things. You have dis-associated you from the thoughts that your brain sometimes throws your way.

You don't need to fight it.

The more you try and fight and supress these thoughts, the more they will happen.

I do 3 things when these negative/intrusive thoughts about my health come into my head.


1 – Label

Whenever I have an intrusive/unhelpful thought, I give it a name. They are called my “Pink Elephants” because of the example I give in this article (http://www.startinglifeagain.com/2016/09/26/3-steps-to-beating-intrusivenegative-thoughts/). Once you spot them, and label them as harmless, they lose all power and you can move on to stage 2...

2 – Accept

When they occur, accept them. They happen, and there is nothing you can do about them. When you start trying to resist them, it adds fuel to the fire. So label them, accept them and then…

3 – Move On
Carry on with whatever you were doing before hand. It might take you many attempts in the early days, if you are still new to having them. You might have to go through these 3-steps ten times. But persist with this strategy, and eventually they will go completely.

Give it a try!


Hi SLA

Thank you for your detailed reply, i agree with all the above and this was covered in my CBT course, i do try and follow these steps some days are better than others and i know its about consistency! I have an issue which is that i'm very impatient, if i feel like i've been doing 'everything right' and seeing no progress i give up and allow myself to go back in to the negative thinking cycle fully believing all my thoughts.

At this stage in my life i have a lot of positive things to concentrate on, so i am hopeful this will help me move forward, although i know it isn't going to be a straight forward easy process!

Thanks again

[Beckybecks]

Hi Katiepink.
I think any of us with HA can identify with what you're going through.
That's what we do! Our minds wait for the slightest little twinge because we've reprogrammed ourselves to overreact to any symptom at all. And we spend our time skipping from one terminal ailment to another, although each time we tell ourselves that 'if only I can get rid of this symptm, I'll be fine". Only to replace it with yet another symptom and another fatal disease.
I told my husband last night "the best way to get rid of IBS pain? Stub your toe on the door frame!" Your brain has another pain/symptom to focus on.

Also typically, when our lives seem to be going well, our minds seem to look for something to spoil it all....

So don't feel alone, it's just typical HA behavior. Nothing more.

I like what SLA has written. I too have learnt this in CBT. It's not always easy to put these steps into motion when your mind's telling you that THIS pain is serious. If the pain doesn't kick you flat, then the anxiety does. So it takes a big effort"
But it's worth it of course.

---------- Post added at 14:55 ---------- Previous post was at 14:52 ----------

PS. I've had that stiff sore neck too. All due to stress. And who wouldn't get a stiff neck going through an interview plus whatever else you have to deal with. It's normal and nothing serious. An infrared lamp works well or a heat pad .

[SLA]

I have an issue which is that i'm very impatient, if i feel like i've been doing 'everything right' and seeing no progress i give up and allow myself to go back in to the negative thinking cycle fully believing all my thoughts.

I'm reading a book called "The Obstacle is the Way" at the moment, and it is great for beating this kind of mindset.

With practice, you learn that the barriers that usually make us turn back around towards our old habits, actually become the path to follow and the way forward.

It isn't easy, but good things rarely are!


“Today I escaped anxiety. Or no, I discarded it, because it was within me, in my own perceptions — not outside.” — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

[KatiePink]

Thank you both for your comments! It's really helped, i can't fix everything overnight and that's something i MUST remind myself because i need to allow myself time, focus on my progress no matter how small it is rather than the bigger picture.

[Traceypo]

Hi Katie, congratulations on the job offer and the other positive things in your life.
Keep battling the HA, it can be beaten, I fully remember the frustration that I would never wake up 'cured', but you're right, it's a journey where even the smallest step is progress. The fact you're out there looking for new opportunities and a better life is progress.

For me, I only realised I was 'cured' when I stopped looking for the cure. Once I'd learnt to shift my thought patterns I would only recognise my progress on reflection as HA wasn't my obsession anymore.

Be compassionate with yourself. Good luck for your job.
Xxx