Exhausted

[Minivil]

Hi everyone. I really have lost control on this HA stuff. Was taking the Zoloft, but it made my anxiety so much worse, I cannot tolerate it. But because of the insurance situation and our mounting overdue health bills (kids, not all mine), I can't even go back to the doc for anything. They did call me in some more Ativan which helps with sleep, but, really guys...

I literally am obsessed with checking for lumps in my breasts now. It's unconscious, but I catch myself every hour multiple times with my hand there checking. BC fears REALLY get to me. My aunt was dead at my age, and just knowing that cancer incidents start happening more frequently around my age...that 1-200 women my age-50 apparently get this? THOSE ARE TERRIBLE ODDS. I can't even "science"/logic myself out of this one, it's that bad. And my boobs are already fibrous...and even though my doc told me four months ago I'm fine, I'm convinced they missed something-----yet I'm terrified of mammograms.

Please don't move my post to the women's issues, I know this is an issue of anxiety...I don't even need reassurance about BC, I just need to know this is my anxiety being a b*tch right now. Had a really rough night with the family and, of course, I immediately flew to the bathroom to check again....coping, much? I just need people who understand right now.

[Minivil]

Anyone? :(

[SLA]

First of all, checking is a positive thing. Like most obsessions, they have a positive spirit. So you want to check for lumps.

But you know deep down that it only needs to be done occasionally. It is your anxieties that are making you check persistently, and you don't want to let your fear control your life.

My advice would be to start checking twice a day, at the same time. Put it in your calendar, and get a reminder.

Those are the times you will check. And if your anxieties make you want to check, you just think of the next time you have allowed yourself to check, and tell yourself you can do it then. It will usually only be a few hours away.

It might be difficult at first, but you need to take control, and give your anxious thoughts less power over your life.

[Minivil]

Thank you SLA. I'll give that a try again. I've been super busy today, which helps. It isn't until I'm tired, stressed, alone that it creeps up on me.

Thank you again for your kindness. :)

[Beachlady]

Am I to understand that you’ve never had a mammogram? I’m not sure, based on your post, how old you are, but women 50 and over should have a mammo every other year, and every year if they have a first generation relative who has had breast cancer.

Mammos aren’t fun, but the good news is that breast cancer has a great survival rate now.

[Minivil]

I had a partial mammo in my late twenties for something I was freaking out over which was nothing.

I am 38, and thus far have just had my routine clinical BE and self monitoring. Last check was four months ago (found nothing unusual). I don't have a lot of cancer period in my family, but I had a great aunt with ovarian cancer in her 70s or something, and an aunt who died at my age from BC. She ignored a diagnosed lump for a couple of years for natural treatments then got pregnant which accelerated the cancer. So...likely preventable---but I think that date has always loomed large for me. :weep:

[herbie73]

Hi there,
I went through this at the end of 2014, I know exactly how you feel, the only way I got out of it was by not checking all the time, don't google that made me worse and if you feel anxious post on here, they are so good, you will get over it, I did.

Lots of hugs

Sherry xxx

PS I'm here if you need to chat

[Minivil]

Thank you so much Sherry! I'm staying busy and coming here to read if I get anxious. It's getting better. :yesyes:

[Beachlady]

I had a partial mammo in my late twenties for something I was freaking out over which was nothing.

I am 38, and thus far have just had my routine clinical BE and self monitoring. Last check was four months ago (found nothing unusual). I don't have a lot of cancer period in my family, but I had a great aunt with ovarian cancer in her 70s or something, and an aunt who died at my age from BC. She ignored a diagnosed lump for a couple of years for natural treatments then got pregnant which accelerated the cancer. So...likely preventable---but I think that date has always loomed large for me. :weep:

Oh I see. You’re too young for mammos then. I understand your anxiety, though. It’s the cross that all women have to bear, I guess. Darn boobs anyways.