View Full Version : Weekends are the worst.
mrjonesmcr
08-10-16, 19:18
It raises my anxiety and depression levels to no end, it makes me realise what a pathetic, lonely loser I am. :(
You're not a loser - just unhappy.
Why not treat yourself to a tasty snack & watch something interesting on TV. That's what I'm going to do now - hello chocolate!:)
Goldeneye and Peroni. Where you at? :D
mrjonesmcr
08-10-16, 20:48
Goldeneye and Peroni. Where you at? :D
If only they'd help! aha.
---------- Post added at 20:48 ---------- Previous post was at 20:47 ----------
You're not a loser - just unhappy.
Why not treat yourself to a tasty snack & watch something interesting on TV. That's what I'm going to do now - hello chocolate!:)
Chocolate sounds wonderful, but I need a person or animal, my cat is being antisocial! :(
Do you 'put yourself out there' often?
I read a really interesting piece in a book called 'One Small Step Can Change Your Life' and it had a short section on a woman who was in a similar situation to you.
She never had any meaningful relationships or met anyone she really liked. But at the same time, she stopped believing she ever would find anyone. (Sound familiar?)
Using the philosophy of Kaizen, she was instructed to make small simple changes that would slightly increase her chances of meeting people.
Taking lunch out in the park, or a cafe instead of at her desk. Shopping at a different store each week. etc
Even if you have no interest in 95% of the people you meet, that doesn't mean you can't be kind, courteous, and give them a nice smile. The one you are destined to meet is out there... you need to give yourself as many opportunities to find her as possible.
Link never rescued Zelda without smashing a thousand boxes, and slaying hundreds of enemies.
So get out there and start smashing boxes!! :D
mrjones. You are not a loser. good advice from SLA.:hugs:
mrjonesmcr
09-10-16, 17:15
Do you 'put yourself out there' often?
I read a really interesting piece in a book called 'One Small Step Can Change Your Life' and it had a short section on a woman who was in a similar situation to you.
She never had any meaningful relationships or met anyone she really liked. But at the same time, she stopped believing she ever would find anyone. (Sound familiar?)
Using the philosophy of Kaizen, she was instructed to make small simple changes that would slightly increase her chances of meeting people.
Taking lunch out in the park, or a cafe instead of at her desk. Shopping at a different store each week. etc
Even if you have no interest in 95% of the people you meet, that doesn't mean you can't be kind, courteous, and give them a nice smile. The one you are destined to meet is out there... you need to give yourself as many opportunities to find her as possible.
Link never rescued Zelda without smashing a thousand boxes, and slaying hundreds of enemies.
So get out there and start smashing boxes!! :D
I've heard about that book, I've not read it though. And yes, I put myself 'out there' enough, I'm out of the house most days if not everyday. The gym, my volunteer work, cafes, exploring, pubs etc. I am very active and 'out there'.
And trust me, I'm always polite, courteous and smiley. Well, maybe not always smiley, but polite and courteous is something I always am, regardless of my mood.
mrjonesmcr
15-10-16, 18:39
Sorry to bump this...
Here we go again, Saturday is the worst day of the week, whilst it's freedom for most who work and have a social life, it's torture for the lonely folk like me. It serves as a reminder for the best social years I've lost and won't get back no matter how hard I try. I feel so shitty, it's unreal.
Sorry to bump this...
Here we go again, Saturday is the worst day of the week, whilst it's freedom for most who work and have a social life, it's torture for the lonely folk like me. It serves as a reminder for the best social years I've lost and won't get back no matter how hard I try. I feel so shitty, it's unreal.
Mrjones, I truly think those of us who are down give off some kind of signal, as people around where I live don't talk to me anymore etc, or even look my way when I walk past. I am out of the house most days too, go into town etc and am very polite when getting served, holding doors for people etc, yet I feel so unlikeable.
Even if we try to put on a front and fake a smile (not saying you're faking, but at times I do) it makes not a bite of difference. I know where you're coming from and feel I'm in the same boat, although I'm not entirely alone as I have a boyfriend and child, but different company would be nice now and again. It's so hard to make friends in my opinion unless you have the same interests as others which I don't.
Sorry to hear you are feeling so low.
I don't know if you have a hobby, but if you join a club then there may be weekend activities.
Perhaps you could arrange a meet up for NMP members in your city?
There are thousands of people alone on a Saturday night - I hope something turns up for you. :)
mrjonesmcr
15-10-16, 19:46
Sorry to hear you are feeling so low.
I don't know if you have a hobby, but if you join a club then there may be weekend activities.
Perhaps you could arrange a meet up for NMP members in your city?
There are thousands of people alone on a Saturday night - I hope something turns up for you. :)
I've tried arranging a meet up on here, no response as of yet.
I'm not even sure I see much point in trying, most people already have lots of friends and aren't wanting or needing new people in their lives. I've lost too many years due to loneliness. I don't see it getting better, not really.
---------- Post added at 19:46 ---------- Previous post was at 19:44 ----------
Mrjones, I truly think those of us who are down give off some kind of signal, as people around where I live don't talk to me anymore etc, or even look my way when I walk past. I am out of the house most days too, go into town etc and am very polite when getting served, holding doors for people etc, yet I feel so unlikeable.
Even if we try to put on a front and fake a smile (not saying you're faking, but at times I do) it makes not a bite of difference. I know where you're coming from and feel I'm in the same boat, although I'm not entirely alone as I have a boyfriend and child, but different company would be nice now and again. It's so hard to make friends in my opinion unless you have the same interests as others which I don't.
This is exactly how I feel. I hold doors, I am very polite yet feel unlikeable. And I fake smiles constantly!
Oh dear :(. I'm 58 and spend a good deal of time on my own . I have the odd day of thinking woe is me but can kick my arse out of it quite quickly. The alternative to not trying to be happy is not to be thought about.I may be talking complete tripe but life's too short etc etc :)
mrjonesmcr
15-10-16, 19:51
Oh dear :(. I'm 58 and spend a good deal of time on my own . I have the odd day of thinking woe is me but can kick my arse out of it quite quickly. The alternative to not trying to be happy is not to be thought about.I may be talking complete tripe but life's too short etc etc :)
I'm afraid you are talking tripe. :P although I wish I had that mentality.
Lol tripe is good. I don't always have the annoyingly positive mentality but after becoming a widow at age 53 I give it my best shot. :)
Its unfortunate that no one responded to your request for a meet up in Manchester.
I can only suggest that you try going out by yourself. I sometimes do this. If I waited for someone to accompany me to the theatre/cinema/exhibition, I'd wait forever. If people want to talk to me - fine. If not they've missed out on an opportunity!
Why not put the goal of making friends on the back-burner & just go out & try to get something from the outing ( people may approach you & start to chat.)
I find many single ladies go to the theatre - you never know who you might meet!
Is your cat being more sociable tonight? A little treat may do the trick!
You've got your whole life ahead of you - don't give up!
mrjonesmcr
15-10-16, 21:07
Its unfortunate that no one responded to your request for a meet up in Manchester.
I can only suggest that you try going out by yourself. I sometimes do this. If I waited for someone to accompany me to the theatre/cinema/exhibition, I'd wait forever. If people want to talk to me - fine. If not they've missed out on an opportunity!
Why not put the goal of making friends on the back-burner & just go out & try to get something from the outing ( people may approach you & start to chat.)
I find many single ladies go to the theatre - you never know who you might meet!
Is your cat being more sociable tonight? A little treat may do the trick!
You've got your whole life ahead of you - don't give up!
I go out on my own all the time. It's fun on occasion, but it's dreadfully lonely. I often go to exhibitions as well, I'm seeing the Boris Nzebo one at Manchester Art Gallery next week, I'm looking forward to it, but not as much since I'll be on my own.
I'm not really looking for a relationship. There's only one person I'd sacrifice my singlehood for and she's taken, I'm highly crushing on her but she's taken and lives at the other end of the country.
On the whole. I just want to make friends and proper ones at that, I can't afford to put it on the backburner any longer. I just fear meeting people when they're not as fun or interesting as they once were as odd as that might sound. Most my age want to settle down now and stop living. So I don't really have my whole life ahead of me, not really anyway. My chances are limited and no matter what, I've lost so many of the best years. It's all downhill after 30, which I'm close to.
And no, she's outside again, she came in briefly for some attention and disappeared again. I even tried tempting her with a treat. No luck! :(
I understand what you mean about hitting 30. It seems like its over but its not, you just have to pursue different avenues.
Lots of people are in the same boat, and i'd say you've got much more going for you than I have, and i'm quite upbeat!
And if there is one person that you would sacrifice your singlehood for, then there will be many undiscovered out there.
And trust me, your 30's will be your best years. But you have to make them so...
Peace my friend. :hugs:
mrjonesmcr
15-10-16, 21:25
I understand what you mean about hitting 30. It seems like its over but its not, you just have to pursue different avenues.
Lots of people are in the same boat, and i'd say you've got much more going for you than I have, and i'm quite upbeat!
And if there is one person that you would sacrifice your singlehood for, then there will be many undiscovered out there.
And trust me, your 30's will be your best years. But you have to make them so...
Peace my friend. :hugs:
I'm not really sure what I do have going for me though. I don't have looks, a paid job, friends or money. If you have one of those at least, you'll be fine. And what different avenues do you mean exactly? I remain unconvinced my 30s will be the best, since my 20s have sucked.
There's only one person, trust me. She's amazing. Others would have to be much, much better for it to change, and the last time I was on a dating site, the people I spoke to didn't fill me with hope. But this person did, more than she'll ever know. But I was too late for anything to happen, story of my life.
The more you hold onto the past, and let it dictate your future, the more sorry you will be when you are approaching 40, and looking back on your 30's.
Read this book:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Think-Forward-Thrive-Anticipation-Transcend-ebook/dp/B00OM7VCMC/ref=sr_1_1_twi_kin_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1476566883&sr=8-1&keywords=think+forward+to+thrive
mrjonesmcr
15-10-16, 22:47
I don't see what great posssibilties happen in your 30s though. :(
I don't see what great posssibilties happen in your 30s though. :(
I imagine it's simply being more accepting of oneself. My Mam told me she was happiest in her 30's and I've actually heard lots of people say that too.
I understand your doubts though, I feel the same and I've just turned 28. I know it's shallow, but I'm also losing my looks which is adding massively to my struggles.
SLA is right about not letting the past dictate your future.
I had some bad years in my 20s, but my 30s were much better - a good time.
Many people are facing difficult situations - one just has to carry on & hope for the best.
Mr Jones, I have seen your photo - you look a decent fellow. Few men have the looks of celebrities! Just try to accept yourself & do the best you can. :)
I never like weekends and will be relieved to go back to the clinic at 17.00. How sad is that.:weep:
Start lithium on Monday and am really scared.
take care
Sxx
Carrie8484
23-10-16, 18:22
What did you get upto this weekend Mr Jones? Any opportunities to take photos?
mrjonesmcr
30-10-16, 19:05
What did you get upto this weekend Mr Jones? Any opportunities to take photos?
Last weekend when you asked this, no. I was unwell for all of it so I didn't do so much. It did distract me from feeling lonely though, which I guess is something.
I did take a few this weekend though, including one at a beer festival I went to.
Carrie8484
31-10-16, 11:04
I like your photo's! Remind me of my time in Manchester. I still visit a lot with work and catching up with old work friends.
Sorry to hear you've been unwell.
Where was the beer festival?
Have you been to Federal in the NQ/Shudehill area? Great place for breakfast/brunch.
I do most things on my own. I actually prefer going to cafe's on my own sometimes. Although i live with my partner if i'm ever travelling for work I end up going for coffee/lunch/etc solo and I like it, because I guess i'm used to it and don't really get bored of it. I didn't have many friends in Manchester and still only have very a small selection of people who I consider real friends. Did you meet many folk at the beer festival?
Mr Jones I do fully understand where you are coming from and I too have set up a thread for meets too in my area and yes a couple of responses and that what was it so feel your pain! Glad you got out to the beer festival m8 was it good tasting all those different beers?!! have made a good friend on here but at the moment only met twice but hopefully meeting up again soon, so there is 'always' hope cheers :)
---------- Post added at 11:56 ---------- Previous post was at 11:52 ----------
How do you get these pics up as the links should be clickable? Cheers
mrjonesmcr
31-10-16, 16:44
I like your photo's! Remind me of my time in Manchester. I still visit a lot with work and catching up with old work friends.
Sorry to hear you've been unwell.
Where was the beer festival?
Have you been to Federal in the NQ/Shudehill area? Great place for breakfast/brunch.
I do most things on my own. I actually prefer going to cafe's on my own sometimes. Although i live with my partner if i'm ever travelling for work I end up going for coffee/lunch/etc solo and I like it, because I guess i'm used to it and don't really get bored of it. I didn't have many friends in Manchester and still only have very a small selection of people who I consider real friends. Did you meet many folk at the beer festival?
Thank you, you're very kind. :) the beer festival was in Didsbury, near where I live. I do enjoy doing solo things, but it does get frustrating after a while, it would be nice to have the choice rather than being forced into it like I am now. And no, I didn't meet anyone, virtually everyone else had people to make conversation with, I only really spoke to a CAMRA representative, but oh well!
And no, I've not been to Federal, it does look nice though, I'll check it out next time I'm in the NQ.
---------- Post added at 16:44 ---------- Previous post was at 16:42 ----------
Mr Jones I do fully understand where you are coming from and I too have set up a thread for meets too in my area and yes a couple of responses and that what was it so feel your pain! Glad you got out to the beer festival m8 was it good tasting all those different beers?!! have made a good friend on here but at the moment only met twice but hopefully meeting up again soon, so there is 'always' hope cheers :)
---------- Post added at 11:56 ---------- Previous post was at 11:52 ----------
How do you get these pics up as the links should be clickable? Cheers
It was decent enough, I had a few nice ones. One called Vanilla Stout was my favourite. As I said, it was decent but would have been better with company.
As for the links, I definitely used the right coding, maybe it's in my settings, I'll have a look sometime.
Thank you, you're very kind. :) the beer festival was in Didsbury, near where I live. I do enjoy doing solo things, but it does get frustrating after a while, it would be nice to have the choice rather than being forced into it like I am now. And no, I didn't meet anyone, virtually everyone else had people to make conversation with, I only really spoke to a CAMRA representative, but oh well!
---------- Post added at 16:44 ---------- Previous post was at 16:42 ----------
It was decent enough, I had a few nice ones. One called Vanilla Stout was my favourite. As I said, it was decent but would have been better with company.
As for the links, I definitely used the right coding, maybe it's in my settings, I'll have a look sometime. Hey know exactly where you are coming from, its so much nicer sharing good times with a friend :) Yes that would be fine as i am a member of 3 other forums and links work on these forums you could just copy and paste the image in to a post or simply upload it to this forum Cheers
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