So scared. [Archive] - No More Panic

View Full Version : So scared.

Pepperpot

09-10-16, 22:19

Hi all. I try not to ask for reassurance on forums as a rule as I know you're not doctors. I'm just beside myself.
Had lots of gynae problems and bowel problems and bladder problems. Long story short, always needing a wee, bleeding after sex and bleeding after a poo. Anyway. I had a sigmoidoscopy either last year or the year before (can't remember) and was meant to have a colonoscopy. Couldn't go through with it due to horrendous experience. Anyway, lately been having stomach pain (and lower back pain) and did stool sample for doc to check calprotectin levels while she also refered me for a colonoscopy. Rang up for results for a uti the other day and was also told my calprotectin levels were over 300 (normal is below 50). I have the presassessment on Wednesday and no doubt the procedure will be weeks after that. I am absolutely beside myself. I can't stop thinking about bowel cancer. To make it worse, I've actually gone one step further and diagnosed myself with a secondary cancer as well, making the BC inoperable. My poo has been soft for a while now, and I actually went to A&E with abdo pains a month ago. The said my bloods were "fairly normal" meaning one inflammation market was raised. I also always have white blood cells in my wee and now my calprotectin levels are sky high i am beside myself with worry. As some of you might know, my mother has terminal lung cancer and her bloods are fine! I haven't had blood in my poo for about 6wks but I do have shooting pains up there. God I'm waffling on a bit now :(

Kathryn313

09-10-16, 23:13

I think it is natural to be a little scared in these situations. There is probably very little anyone can say in here to calm you, maybe just try and find ways of getting through the days by spending a few hours on things you enjoyed before all this kicked off. Part of my CBT is to think about the worst case scenario and get comfortable with it, see what it is that terrifies you most and look to put plans in place to ease those fears prior to being diagnosed. Admit it is a brutal way of thinking but does give a focus!! Thankfully it is only a weeks home work so can let it go soon.

But mainly a virtual hug is probably the best I can do to help!

---------- Post added at 23:13 ---------- Previous post was at 23:09 ----------

Although isn't calprotein a test for inflammatory bowel conditions as opposed to cancer?

brucealmighty

09-10-16, 23:17

I read only today that a teaspoonful full of turmeric in warm milk has been scientifically proven to readuce any inflammation and fire up anti-cancer cells in your body, as well as actually working it might help you mentally a bit to think `yes this will do me some good`

its cheap as chips too so might be worth a look

its awful when you`re so scared I know so I hope you sleep well tonight and all your tests and procedures come out positively

Pepperpot

09-10-16, 23:27

Thanks both for replying.
Kathryn; you're right, I doubt anything can calm me either. I just felt a tad better posting it. I really don't know much about what it's testing for apart from inflammation, which to my knowledge can mean an IBD (UC or Crohns) or cancer. I don't have the classic symptoms of an IBD so I'm going with the cancer. :( thanks for the hug :)
Brucealmighty; I will look into that thank you. And thank you for your kind words.

If my memory serves me correctly, I had a bottle of wine the night before the stool test and I've been googling like mad hoping I could find some kind of study that says alcohol increases calprotectin levels. Unfortunately I found that it doesn't.

Kathryn313

09-10-16, 23:33

Calprotein is an inflammatory response, so reaction to alcohol could make sense. I am on a no google month so can't go there! That's almost my Stoptober!

Pepperpot

09-10-16, 23:42

Oh wow go you!! I can't help but Google. It also happens to be my job so I'm doomed in that area really haha.

---------- Post added at 23:42 ---------- Previous post was at 23:37 ----------

I was ok until I found out my calprotectin levels were through the roof. I asked the doc to what that meant (already knowing the answer) and she said "well, it means we did the right thing in referring you". That made me twenty times worse! I'm bloody great at rationalizing other people's problems but not my own!

Elizabeth Fry

09-10-16, 23:42

Although I don't know anything about the test it would make sense that alcohol intake would affect it; alcohol is negative in every sense and does have an impact on all systems.

Thanks for replying to my post. What a nice thing to do when you are going through such stress.

I hope you can get some rest also.

Pepperpot

09-10-16, 23:49

Thank you Elizabeth and you're welcome. Other people's problems helps me take my mind off my own even if it's only for a while :)

pulisa

10-10-16, 09:10

Pepperpot, I would have thought that you would be fasttracked for a colonoscopy if there were any thoughts of BC? Have you had a very recent sigmoidoscopy as this could assess the bleeding from your piles and deal with any possible polyps at the same time? I've never heard of pre-assessment for a colonoscopy as I've just had them without any prior screening. I just hope that you get some tests soon as you must be dealing with so much at home with your Mum and with your daughter xxx

Carnation

10-10-16, 09:24

Pepperpot, there cam be many other reasons for this, not just the dreaded C.

I have a friend in a similar condition and it turned out to be an infection.
The fact that you have stopped bleeding is a good sign.
But, I know what you mean about fearing the worst and being able to support others when you can not give the same practical and soothing advice to yourself.

Your mum's condition will be affecting your anxiety and I know that anxiety can cause excruciating pain throughout the body. The pain I have had in my chest has been so bad that it feels like a heart attack and this sort of pain can occur anywhere in the body, just through anxiety!

In the meantime, while you wait for results, eat as healthy as you can and getting plenty of rest. x :hugs:

Pepperpot

10-10-16, 21:24

TD888

12-10-16, 00:06

When I had mine done, they found some little abnormalities, which they biopsied and came back fine, which frankly irritated me as I'd been experiencing bowel problems for several years up to that point and was hoping they'd find something. In my lowest days I actually would have welcomed cancer, so I could at least know what it is that's destroying my life.

I would say to you not to worry, but I know that's literally impossible but I'll repeat what others have said, there is literally a list as long as your arm of things that cause bowel issues (including bleeding) and cancer is one of the rarer on the list in comparison to the others.

Just focus on getting yourself through the test because worry does make bowel issues worse, take it step by step.

Pepperpot

12-10-16, 15:08

Thanks all.
I'm at my pre-assessment now and they are running over half an hour late so I've come to sit in the car rather than sit in a room full of people who look as miserable as I do

rainbow

12-10-16, 16:28

Hi, I've been following your posts. You sound like you've been having a tough time of it lately. Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and hope you get some answers soon.

Tracey

Pepperpot

13-10-16, 01:04

Hi, I've been following your posts. You sound like you've been having a tough time of it lately. Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and hope you get some answers soon.

Tracey

Thank you :) x

---------- Post added at 01:04 ---------- Previous post was at 00:47 ----------

Well, Im back with an update.
So, they were running late - great start. Anyway, the nurse came and got me as we went into a little room, and she asked me why I was there. Odd, I thought, but I told her - have had bleeding for few years, had sigmoidoscopy last year (it was last June - I checked), blood in stools, and lately been having bad stomach pain so doc sent me to A&E - they went down the gynae route and found nothing, went back to docs who asked for a stool sample and also referred me for this procedure (well a CT colonoscopy cos I had told her about my fears). So, I was here.
My GP had referred me, and the info must have went to the hospital, as they knew about me coming. However, the information on why I was there (as in the actually referral) wasn't sat in front of the nurse, and all she had was last years sigmoidoscopy report. So, she rang my GPs surgery. Oh yes, the referral was there said the recepionist, but we cannot send it over as the GP who asked for it isn't in. Ace! Then, also, a doctor at the hospital must have seen my referral, and asked "why is this lady coming in for a colonsocopy when she had a sigmoidoscopy last year? However, as this discussion had taken place with my GP, the nurse couldn't access whether or not the hospital doctor had ruled it out or not.
So, I was sat in the little room, and the nurse had no clue as to why I was there (apart from what I had told her), and if I was to have the colonoscopy or not. Oh and it was not a CT one, as if I wanted that, I would have to go back into the system and that might take ages. So, I thought I would ask the nurse some questions, as that what a pre-assessment is for yeah? So I said, what reasons could my calprotectin be high? Oh, inflammation. Next question. Can alcohol cause it? Doubtful, but unsure. Could it be IBS that causes it, or is that a definite no-no? Not sure - maybe an IBS nurse would know. And, if the hospital doctor says I do not need a colonoscopy, why on earth are my calprotectin levels high? In your blood? What? Well were they high in your blood? Err no I told you a stool sample. Oh well they can test it from your blood too. (I have googled this and cannot see anything of the sort). These questions are good, but I dont know the answers to them she said. ****ing great.
So, I have a colonoscopy booked, but she doesn't know if it is within the timeframe it is meant to be, as she has no info. And I am even more anxious than I was before the appointment. She said she will ring in a few days to tell me more.