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Anxytips
10-10-16, 13:08
Hi all,

I am new here and this is my first ever post. This is going to be a really long post so for that I apologise in advance!

A bit about me - Male - 32yrs - 5'8 - 11.5st - UK.

Ok, so since I was 17 I had always liked to go out for beers etc with my friends - was doing it every week for years. Since then I have got myself a mortgage (8 years ago), settled down in a good job and got a lovely wife and family. I have always seen myself as a social person and very outgoing.

Over the past 18 months I have noticed that I like to binge drink at the weekends with my friends as they would come over and stay at our house or we would go over to theirs. I don't drink in the week and to be honest I believe I was "saving up my drinking" for the weekends. So for example on a Friday night I would have about 8 pints, then on a Saturday probably another 5 pints, then on a Sunday I would have 7 pints and a couple of glasses of wine. This would be pretty much every week for at least the past 1 year.

Anyway - and this brings me to today's post....6 weeks ago on a Friday night some friends came over - I had about 8 pints Friday night. I had also arranged to go on a "all dayer" on the Saturday with some other mates. On the Saturday I drank myself absolutely stupid. Ended up having 16 pints , jaeger bombs, vodkas - you name - we drank it. I have zero recollection of this but when I came home I collapsed. I couldn't walk, talk, or do anything for myself. During the night I violently vomited and vomited blood too. My lips went blue and went deathly pale. My wife did not take me to the hospital and just let me "sleep it off". I feel that I should have gone - but that is by the by now. According to my wife I was extremely gaunt and you could see my ribs because I vomited so much.

Upon waking up the following morning I did not feel like I had a hangover. No headache, nothing. The only feelings I got was very bad abdominal pains. I then started to get aches and pains all over my body as 2 days went on. I started trembling and uncontrollably shaking. I was having pains in my chest, left arm, heart/chest palpitations, feeling run down, flu like symptoms that never really come out, literally thought I was having a heart attack. I decided to go to the doctors 3 days later (after the binge drink) just really to check me out and make sure no damage was done. She prodded and poked me and couldn't see anything that was of concern but prescribed me Lansoprazole as she believed I may have damaged my stomach lining because of the blood vomit and that would sort it. They also carried out blood tests to be on the safe side but all came back normal.

After leaving the doctors and taking the tablets my stomach pains, body shaking, headaches, arm pains, palpatations, sneezing, sore throat that never really came out properly, just started to get worse. I was having sensations of my body just "stopping" and I found it hard to breathe. This was when I was going to sleep and also had this a few times in the day too. I ended up seeing the same Dr about 4 times in 2 weeks. All she put it down too was my binge drinking session, and my body was still recovering. I wasn't happy with what she was saying so I ended up visiting Dr Google and all sorts of malicious illnesses and diseases were coming up. Every new symptom I had I googled it. Although I was hungry I was forcing myself to eat.

On week 3 I was still no better and felt that I was gradually getting worse. I started to prod and poke myself in the stomach area that it was hurting, and I convinced myself that I am sure I felt little lumps in there. Again Dr Google was visited. Discussing with my wife and she thought I was showing signs of depression, so we booked in to see another Dr. This dr checked me and again could not see any concern and put it down to anxiety.

I was still feeling the same with all my random aches and pains everywhere - from head to toe - trembling, shaking, palpations, sensations of body stopping, chronic aching on liver side, back ache, leg ache, tingling, pins and needles in fingers - you name it - I felt like it. I then started to get a pain on my right side of stomach and heart attack symptoms again and after googling this I went straight to the local walking centre and saw ANOTHER Dr! Had an ECG, blood pressure etc - all fine, she checked my breathing, listened to lungs and could not see any issues with me at all.

A couple of days later I still had this pain in my right side of stomach, I thought this was getting worse - googled again and read about Appendicitis. Again I called up my local Dr - saw ANOTHER Dr! He had a prod and poke and said he thought it might be a stomach ulcer or appendicitis. He made me go straight to the hospital. This is where things started to get interesting.....

Week 4 I had seen 4 different dr's - 5 or 6 times and now I was in hospital!

Still had pains in my right hand abdomen and still felt generally unwell so had to be admitted. They took my bloods and again all came back normal. They ordered a X Ray on the Friday night and a colonoscomy (sorry for spelling!) on the Saturday (morning)! I say Saturday morning like that because....

After my X-Ray Friday night I was Nil by Mouth at 11pm. Supposed to have my camera in the morning the following day. Anyway 2:30pm came - and still no sign of camera operation - no food or drink for 15 hours - I felt like I was going to collapse - I was asking the nurses for water and they refused, so I ended up drinking water out of the tap in the Male toilet! I also ended up drinking some water from a jug of the patient next to me! The nurse just said "Oh you were supposed to have a cannula 5 hours ago" - they had forgotten my fluids! A cannula was fitted and fluids came through although it was difficult to get the cannula in because I was so dehydrated. Now because I had eaten and drank something I could not have anesthetic, sedation, or be put to sleep and I had to have the camera in "dry"! This was a problem because the pain was so bad with the camera up they could only see the first 15cm of my bowel but said it was normal although they did not get round to the appendix side (the right side where I was having the pain) They said because x ray is normal, and camera is normal, and blood test is normal then there is no cause for concern for them. I was kept in over night and in my sleep my cannula in my arm moved so when I woke up on Sunday morning it was half hanging out of my arm. It actually fell out of my arm with no professional to take it out properly. This made me worry as I thought what if a bit of plastic was left in my vein! Again, no nurses seemed worried, only I was.

Later on the night of the second night the nurse administered me with a blood thinning jab and told me I should of had it when I was admitted 35 hours ago!

The hospital told me I had IBS because of anxiety and prescribed me with Buscopan - 3 times a day for 2 weeks. To note - when I woke up on Sunday morning my neck really ached but I put that down to sleeping funny on it at the hospital.

I left the hospital on Sunday PM and immediately regretted my decision of drinking water from the hospital taps, I began to feel myself trembling, and again aches and pains all over my body that I had from day 1. I had weird sensations of Chinese burns over my neck and wrists. All manner of illnesses were going round my head about MRSA, Legionella, pneumonia, and even was aimlessly reading the news and meningitis stories were coming up - dreadful ones. I thought I had given myself a illness because of the water tap, or the plastic cannula break off being in my vein so I rang NHS direct - they told me to go straight to a Out of Hours Dr at the local walk in centre.

After speaking with the local Out of Hours Dr he wasn't concerned again and put this all down to health anxiety and checked my blood pressure, pulse, heart rate ect and said all was normal. He said the best thing for me would be CBT. We were supposed to go on holiday in the following few days and told me I needed a rest and to go with my family. In the meantime we booked CBT for in the next 2 weeks.

The days leading up to my holiday I was still having pains and aches all over the place and in different places and my right side stomach pain was still there although I did not have any trembles.

We landed on holiday and on the first day when we were shopping I felt my left ear go "blank" it was like I went deaf in my left ear for a split second. I then started to feel really dizzy and had the feeling of being on a boat, I had left arm pain and pain across my heart area again so immediately though heart attack again. This time I did not go anywhere to any Dr's and thought I could "ride it out". I did ride it out and tried to get on with the holiday but still had this boat feeling all day every day. I also noticed that my head aches were more like migraines and pressure headaches that would come and go. Sometimes I would have them all day, and other times I would have them sporadically. I also started to prod and poke my self again around the neck area as it was still hurting from hospital. I noticed that my left lymph nodes were swollen compared to my right, and I was sure my left shoulder was swollen too. Still for the rest of my holiday I had all my original aches and pains, headaches, everything. I also noticed that I had difficulty swallowing food now and felt I was really concentrating on it "going down the right pipe".

After 10 days we landed back in the UK and not 4 hours later I started to tremble again, all my original aches and pains, and sensations were still here but I kept telling myself that it was this health anxiety.

I awoke the next morning to find my left leg was like a dead weight. I was experiencing what felt to me like blood flow issues in my left leg. aches and pains all over it. I was convinced I had either DVT or a blood clot in my leg as I was thinking about the hospital dehydration, the bit of plastic still in my vein, the late hospital blood clot jab and that I had just been on a plane for 2.5hrs. As this was Saturday I ended up back at the local walk in centre seeing yet again another Dr. I told him all about my feelings, my body sensations etc. He measured my legs, checked blood pressure - again all normal and no concerns at all. I still left feeling something is not right with me.

Sunday (yesterday) was at my parents house for roast and again trembling, pressure headaches, pain behind right eye, sneezing once or twice, chest ache, neck ache, arm ache/pain, feeling of being run down - I ate a roast potato and was sure it went down the wrong way because as I swallowed I had such a sharp pain at the bottom centre of ribs like where your ribs meet in the middle - I immediately thought that had gone into my lungs and I felt like I was concentrating on breathing again!

That all brings me to today.

I have booked at appointment to see Dr at 3pm today to go through everything. I have got CBT on Tuesday of next week as well.

I wanted to reach out to all of you as I feel like I just cannot get through is. I am just so worried about what is causing all of my sensations and feelings.

I am starting to feel sick now every time I eat something and within 6 weeks I have lost a stone in weight.

Just as I write this I have nose sniffling, pressure headache, chest ache, back ache, and neck pain where these "nodes" are.

Really worried it is something serious, and the only thing I cling on to is the fact I have had 2 blood tests in 6 weeks, a chest x ray, stomach x ray and a camera up my rear - all normal.

I cannot put this down to what happened 6 weeks ago and I just want it to go away! I used to be very outgoing and social but haven't been my self at all since this all started. To note - I haven't touched a drop of alcohol either in 6 weeks but I still don't feel any better.

Thank you for all your time reading my story - and I am sorry it is so long - but I really need help and need my mind putting at ease. I just don't know where to turn next.

Thanks all.

hanshan
10-10-16, 14:37
Hi Anxytips,

It sounds like you have had a frightening time, and are struggling to make sense of it all.

Normally anxiety comes and goes in small doses and has some reasonable cause, but sometimes it just gets uncontrollable and becomes an illness. When that happens, there may also be unpleasant symptoms or hyper-awareness of normal bodily symptoms, that make you afraid you may have some physical illness.

All this leads to examination, often by several doctors, and physical tests, which all come back normal.

This is where you are now. What brought it on? Perhaps worry about your increasing binge drinking. As you're now not drinking, it's a good chance to work on getting your anxiety under control, plus whatever level of alcohol use you feel most comfortable with. Good luck.

SLA
10-10-16, 14:45
It seems to me like you've slowly put pressure on your body for months on end, the stress has caused panic, which is now manifesting itself in heightened sensitivity to pains which have led to anxiety and some depression.

You have to focus on taking good care of yourself.

Anxiety and depression are self-perpetuating downward spirals, and you have to take action to get out of these spirals.

Start small, focus on getting quality sleep, quality food, and light exercise. Keep cutting out the booze. It doesn't have to be permanent, but it will speed up recovery in my opinion. One won't hurt as long as you can just have one. But dont bother if not.

Do plenty of reading on anxiety. Something like Self-Help for Your Nerves by Claire Weekes is good.

---------- Post added at 14:45 ---------- Previous post was at 14:41 ----------

Just out of interest did you mention the alcohol intake to the Doctors?

A lot of your symptoms do seem similar to someone going through alcohol withdrawal.

I'm not a Doctor, and this is not advice. Just checking you mentioned it to them, and they were aware of it.

Colicab85
10-10-16, 15:07
Although some of my "symptoms" are different to yours I can totally relate to this.

My anxiety build up was relentless, it started fair innocuous but i was confused about what had caused it and the following 2 months were the worst 2 months of my life.

Multiple doctors visits for new symptoms each time, loads of out of hours appointments, 3 trips to A+E.

I'm still by no way out the water, my anxiety is morphing in to depression.

But I can at least tell you that a very similar thing happened to me.

31 and male btw.

Anxytips
10-10-16, 16:50
Thanks for all the replies guys. Really means a lot.

SLA - yes I told the Dr's all about the drinking and the binge session that led me here, so they know all about it.

So just a quick update - I have just got back from my 3pm appointment with Dr. I have left feeling pretty deflated to be honest and I cant seem to point out why though.

The dr said that all of what I am saying and feeling is completely linked to my anxiety and my anxiety is at an all time heightened state at present.

He looked at my original blood test, and compared it to my hospital blood test which would have been 3 weeks after my original one. He said my hospital blood test was actually a lot better than the original one. So that was good to hear.

He prodded and poked all around my stomach area again and said all felt normal.

I then showed him the nodes on the left side of next and he said that whilst they were noticeable nothing was a concern as they were not massive, nor were they rock hard. They were soft and squishy which is a good sign. He said that infections are every where in every walk of life every day and nodes are the bodies way of fighting this. He thinks my body is fighting off a slight infection due to my immune system being low due to the anxiety state my body is currently in.

He checked my weight and I am now 10st 7 with clothes on. So he said I have lost a bit but again nothing to be concerned about. (I don't know whether to differ on this as I was 10st 11 with clothes on about 3 weeks ago....) still eating the same but certainly going to the toilet more often.

He said the best thing I can do is the CBT which is booked in for next week, and also start exercising every day. He said to do at least 30 mins of breathless exercise each day such as running, jogging, cross trainer - that kind of thing.

They have booked me in for a H Pylori breath test on the 21st October but I cannot go back on my Buscopan until that result has come back.

They will then take a view after a couple of CBT sessions, and Dr sessions, about long term anxiety medications but he said certainly do not go on them short term.

After all of that I don't know how I feel. I know I should be glad that dr's don't think anything is wrong, but with my tiredness and just general feeling of being run down, and weightloss I have still got this nagging feeling that something is wrong.

I have more of a sore throat now than I did yesterday and sniffles in nose, aching neck etc and all I keep thinking about is meningitis.

I also have a aching chest like a muscle ache but feel it is in my chest which I keep thinking is a malicious illness in my chest that has been missed as he only prodded my stomach and didn't do anything around the heart/lungs area.

Feel like I need to go back already to speak to another dr for those couple of questions I forgot to speak to him about but I know that is silly because the facts are everything seems to have come back normal.

I feel what I really want is a complete body MRI scan and when that comes back normal I will be much better but now feel I have to wait until I see my therapist on the 18th to talk about that.

Literally hate my thoughts at the moment

SLA
10-10-16, 17:01
Literally hate my thoughts at the moment

A comment like this is actually a good thing.

You realise that the thoughts you are having are not aligned with your core belief, and what you want to feel.

You are not your thoughts, so stop trying to resist them, and don't give them any power.

Anxytips
10-10-16, 17:30
Yeah they are starting to take over but I am trying to ignore them - albeit not very well!

For instance just happened again - just had a Vitamin C tablet drink - you know the fizzy ones and as soon as I drank it I felt my stomach churning and could feel the drink going down into my stomach. Chest started to ache and so did stomach and my thoughts took over and decided to Google stomach cancer - all the symptoms of that is what I am feeling. So annoying.

I think to myself that I have been feeling like this for 6 weeks and so tomorrow I am going to call dr tomorrow and ask for another full lot of up to date blood work be done and ask if I can have a MRI or CT scan. At least way when my bloods come back normal I will feel relieved and when my CT or MRI scan comes back normal I think I will then start to relax!

hanshan
11-10-16, 12:05
Hi Anxytips,

My advice is not to ask for scans until your doctors advise them. Stay with it, and try not to go down the health anxiety road. This is based purely on what I've seen posted on NMP, but from that it seems the hardest anxiety to cure.

dmc1892
11-10-16, 12:27
you sound like the way me and my mates used to drink i stopped i drink about once or twice a month these days, but im a bit of a binge drinker too when i drink i drink a lot but then i spend 3-4 weeks without it, but i do recall some hangovers causing me anxiety the next day feeling so horrible i ended up feeling sick with anxiety aswell as the hangover

Colicab85
11-10-16, 12:59
Yeah...without being negative.

I've had multiple blood tests and an MRI of the head and it provided me no relief whatsoever.

If anything, it made me more determined to keep going to the doctor as there HAS to be an answer to everything that is happening to me.

hanshan
11-10-16, 13:18
Hi Colicab,

For most of the people who post here with symptoms, the answer is anxiety.

If there was a physical cause, their doctor would have seen it immediately.

Admittedly, there is a tiny number of cases where doctors don't pick up a physical illness, but they are way in the minority.

Colicab85
11-10-16, 13:27
Hi Colicab,

For most of the people who post here with symptoms, the answer is anxiety.

If there was a physical cause, their doctor would have seen it immediately.

Admittedly, there is a tiny number of cases where doctors don't pick up a physical illness, but they are way in the minority.

Totally agree with this.

It simply HAS to be anxiety! I'm just having, and always had a really bad time accepting this.

I think what I was trying to say is that more blood tests and an MRI is probably not needed, it may not provide relief.

Like me, combatting the anxiety issue is the key to solving this.

Its so easy to say and incredibly hard to put in to practise

Anxytips
11-10-16, 14:45
Cheers guys, I don't even feel like I am thinking about anxiety and something starts. Take this morning for example. Woke up this morning and within a split second already had a pressure headache, and ache/pain in my left side of neck and left shoulder. Started to rub and felt my left shoulder lymph node too. Even though the Dr felt them yesterday and said all was ok. I have tried to get on with it today but just getting what feels like muscle aches all over abdominal area. Got to put this down to my IBS but I really am not convinced despite dr reassurances (about 7 of them lol)

Colicab85
11-10-16, 14:55
You are exactly where I was 5 months ago....i thought i was going to die at the drop of a hat.

Scared and confused about what this all means. As time passes and your symptoms don't worsen then you will find it easier to "accept" the symptoms in the short term.

Long-term acceptance is a lot harder imo....im still a complete mess with it all, i just don't feel compelled to run off to A&E anymore thankfully.

Anxytips
11-10-16, 16:00
Literally just feel that any symptom I have is bad.

Had same abdominal and chest symptoms now for 6 weeks and lost a stone in weight in that time yet dr's are not concerned

---------- Post added at 16:00 ---------- Previous post was at 15:22 ----------

Just been doing some Googling but I possibly think actually for the greater good this time....

So I was sat here thinking to myself about my weight loss and the fact that all was fine with me 7 weeks ago so why is it not now...all I could think of was the "binge" session that happened. So I have just been looking online at this and actually people have lost so much weight when they detox off the drink. Because our bodies are putting in the calories of food and then calories of the alcohol I am only doing the food side now, and so many people seem to have lost a lot of weight by doing a alcohol detox. Some people even lost 2 stone in the time I have lost 1 stone. They are not worried about it at all and say they feel better for it.

The other thing to note to myself/everyone is that due to the acid we drink in our alcohol this burns the lining of our insides. When we go on a "binge" the burning is obviously a lot more severe than just having a couple of drinks. Since I have been "binging" every week for at least a year I wonder if that is the cause of my abdominal/chest aches as all the aches seem to be where the drink/food would flow in my body. It says in some people it can actually take months for your body to recover - "Stomach and Abdominal issues are quite common during the first few weeks and months of sobriety"

I have never looked at it like this before - only ever seeing the bad in what is wrong with me.

I think that I was so bad on that night I had so much pain and ache that didn't go after a week I started to get worried and anxious about why and that kicked off my HA.

Don't get me wrong am I certainly not saying I am ok now but I actually feel 2% better in the fact that could be it and the one that makes most sense. It has made me feel like I may wait this one out for another day or so without having to make another dr's visit

Colicab85
11-10-16, 16:01
Yeah.

I went to A&E with chest pains and had an ECG. My missus thought i was mad.

I also lost well over a stone in around a month.

hanshan
12-10-16, 03:46
A pint of beer contains around 200 kcal (Calories). 2000 kcal is a rough figure for daily energy need for a moderately active adult male, so that's ten pints and you're done, you don't need to eat a single thing all day. I'm not being entirely serious, but you can understand how stopping alcohol (and not replacing it with sugary drinks) can lead to weight loss.

Colicab85
12-10-16, 07:14
I also completely cut out beer at the peak of my Anxiety. That probably helped with the weight loss.

Anxytips
12-10-16, 16:50
Been to see the Dr yet again today!

I wanted a second opinion on my left hand lymph node and my shoulder. She checked and said it was fine. Definitely raised but nothing of concern.

I then started to talk about my chest pains, and other feelings that now seem to be getting worse. These are

Sore throat
Burning sensation at back of throat
Difficulty swallowing
Increase in coughing
Hoarseness of voice - noticing yesterday and today
Middle of chest ache
4th Mouth ulcer in 6 weeks

(Feel like I have a general cold starting but had these feeling for 6 weeks and still no sign of a full blown cold)

I am so convinced that I have something wrong with my Oesophagus/Esophagus now so started to talk to her about it and I just cut off. Said that appointments only last 10 minutes and it is not fair on the other patients so make another appointment and come back about this!

My facts on this are -

1. losing weight
2. symptoms of Esophagus illness
3. when I was sick I vomited the blood so now I am thinking did that heal itself but heal abnormally??
4. Drinking heavily (binge) is a cause!

So now looks like I have got to back to the dr tomorrow to talk about this! Literally through with this. Cant wait for my CBT to start next Tuesday.

After seeing Dr tomorrow that would be 3 different Dr's in 4 days!