Feeling trapped by my own problems

[rac]

Hello everyone,

It's a very long story. I'm 38. I'm American but have lived in Sweden for almost 15 years. I have a son who is 10 years old who has something called Angelman's syndrome. Needless to say, it's a lot of work taking care of him. I live with his father.

We have no social network. Neither one of us has contact with any family. We had very small families to begin with, and there was so much abuse neither one of us could stand it anymore. None of our parents know where we live today and I don't think they care either.

Making friends in Sweden is nearly impossible. To begin with, they are hardly friends with each other and they don't really have any interest in knowing a not well off couple with a retarded son.

On top of that, I have lots of medical problems. I have been to about 15 doctors about it all but no one wanted to help. I dont seem to be able to digest carbohydrates without getting a yeast infection. I mean, at all. All I can eat these days are pork, eggs, butter and a small amount of amaranth and even then I still get problems. This has been going on since 2000 and gradually getting worse. 3 years ago I had a bad attack of seborrheic dermatitis and my lips cracked causing an infection which lasted a year. I was so close to wanting to die since even my husband screamed and turned his back on my completely since we were in the middle of a stressful move.

I also have salicylate allergy which makes one side of my nose swell. I avoid all salicylates but upsettingly I am still getting smaller reactions even though I am doing nothing wrong. It is extremely distressing for me. I get anxiety and panic attacks from these swellings.

We have also had conflicts with neighbors who didn't think they had to stop partying, a conflict with has drug out 2 and a half years now. Also conflicts with my son's school since some of the teachers don't think we live well enough to be allowed to exist.....Moving is not an option.

It's just wearing me down so much. I want things to get better..they never turn around all the way. I just don't know what to do sometimes..whenever I try to talk to medical professionals they just act like I am the biggest liar who ever lived even though I've never lied or exaggerated about a thing.

I guess I just want to know if anyone has any suggestions or has had problems close to any of these.

I watch TV about 15 hours a day just to try to get through, it helps. Going outside I feel so weak and alone.
Rachel xx

[bertha]

I am really sorry to read what is going on you have a lot to deal with and it must hard living in another country.

I don't know if you own or rent your property if you rent could you not talk to your landlord about the parties that are going on maybe put a note through the neighbours doors just explaining that you do not want to stop their enjoyment but could they possibly keep the noise down or not go on so late at night.

I hope things improve for you I cannot give you any advice on your medical probs because I do not know anything about it but I do know that if you are not happy where you are living it can get you down.

We have had problems with a neighbour in the past and if only people would just be a bit more considerate it would be so much nicer for us all.

bertha :)

[rac]

The landlord refuses to get involved. They won't discipline even the worst cases. In another neighborhood there was a guy who lived there for years regularly shouting and threatening to kill people and only after nearly 10 years did they ask him to leave.

We have asked them nicely, we have tried all kinds of things. We gotten most of the parties to stop. It's wound up in screaming matches with us the only thing that kind of works. It's been very stressful.


Thanks for the reply :)

[randomforeigner]

I wish I could say something positive about Swedes and making friends, but I rather find it an accurate description: "To begin with, they are hardly friends with each other and they don't really have any interest in knowing ... people they don't already know" (I changed the ending according to my own experience).

I found this brochure on the Internet, about Angleman's syndrome, and toward the end there are links to apps and to resource centres. They also seem to arrange meetups. You might want to look into it. http://www.agrenska.se/globalassets/dokumentation/467-angelmans-syndrom-2014.pdf

Watching the TV about 15 hours a day can make anybody depressed. Instead, you may also want to check this out, the Red Cross and friends service: http://www.redcross.se/behover-du-var-hjalp/

Trying to move away might be something to think about. It sounds as if your stuck in not such a good environment, is it a council estate? Try to think more about ways to make that happen, rather than to think about how impossible it is. Write down your ideas in a notebook so you don't forget them while you're working on the escape plan (from that neighbourhood).

As for the nose, you could go to the doctors and ask to be remitted to a ear-and-nose clinic at the hospital, to measure how thick your nasal concha actually is, and if it is difficult they do "a nose job", that is an operation of the nasal choncha during day surgery and you will no longer have that particular problem.

While you're at the doctors you could also ask to be referred to a dietist to help with finding out what that problem is. I've heard of a couple of people (in person) with problems digesting carbohydrates. One could only eat elk meet, egg, and rice, basically. You could suffer from the same, the Swedish name I think might be "fruktosmalabsorption". Read here: http://ankisundin.se/ont-i-magen-av-kolhydrater-om-fruktosmalabsorption/

You could perhaps start off by listing yourself with a different GP, for instance listing yourself with "Cityakuten" (in all three major cities) and book a meeting with someone new who hasn't got your medical record at the front of their computer when you meet with them for the first time. I assume you're on the health system, the equivalent of NHS.

[rac]

Thank you for all the suggestions. My nose isn't always swollen it's an allergic reaction that comes and goes so I don't think much can be done.

I've tried the dietician..they were no help at all. I had already figured out everything they were willing to tell me..I think my problem is something called systemic candida..so I am going to try megadoses of probiotics and see if I recover at all. I will read more on the malabsorption link though, thanks.


No, we moved way too many times already, to different cities across the country. We are too exhausted to move. Out only option at this point is to "beat them into submission" until they stop throwing their toys out of the pram as you British say :)

Rachel

[randomforeigner]

I think you could well see a GP about your swollen nose, I'm sure they can figure something out. That it is an allergic reaction doesn't mean that it can't be treated. You can read about one treatment here, in Swedish "Conchotomi": http://www.sodermalmslakarhus.se/vardverksamhet-och-vantetider/conchotomi/

Best address one problem at a time, and this one seems to be a problem where a solution isn't out of reach.