Filthy1
31-03-07, 19:06
since my anxiety kicked in (for the 2nd time in my life) in november, Ive noticed that when I've been out drinking I've started becoming increasingly angry and argumentative, especially with my boyfriend. I become far more paranoid and snappy and my stress levels seem to be high. I have difficulty relaxing and enjoying my night and have to sometimes force myself to dance so i dont shout at someone. Ive caused a few rows with my partner, which always make me feel sick with guilt the next day. My anger seems to be aimed at him, and I cant explain why because he never does anything wrong or says anything offensive so it upsets me feeling angry at him. Also, thoughts of cheating or that I think i fancy other people increase when I'm drinking.
As its been going on I've been noticing it more and feeling increasingly effected by it and last night I think it reached a fever pitch. I was so angry, felt so agressive and just wanted to go home, but as my bf is a dj didnt want to miss him play. I explained to him that I was getting angry at him and couldnt explain why and so had to literally DANCE until i dropped, the sweat was pouring off!! I know it sounds like i was enjoying myself but only really half of me was, the other half was trying to get rid of the agression.
I read a lot that alcohol and ocd dont mix and I suffer from intrusive thoughts all through the day but lst night I woke up in the night with a new one ive not had before. I had like and image or an urge to physically hurt my bf, or a thought liek I might lose control and hurt him!! I've never had this one before and so it came right out of left field, I couldnt handle it, woke him up and had to take a diazapam which I have only ever taken once. I havent felt that anxious for a while and the thought really scared me and, as I was argumentative and quite agressive with my man in the night (i shoved him jokingly) I was thinking "what if i did hurt him, what if i wanted to, what if next time i do"
So then I got no sleep, had to tell my mum (who i work and live with) that i culdnt go to work cus of the diazapam and then almost lost my job for not going into work! and thought i was going to have to move out!
luckily we worked it out and my job and home is safe but im sure it was the alcohol that made it ten times worse!
has anyone had similar experiences with alcohol and ocd? as always, any advice would be gratefully recieved.
As its been going on I've been noticing it more and feeling increasingly effected by it and last night I think it reached a fever pitch. I was so angry, felt so agressive and just wanted to go home, but as my bf is a dj didnt want to miss him play. I explained to him that I was getting angry at him and couldnt explain why and so had to literally DANCE until i dropped, the sweat was pouring off!! I know it sounds like i was enjoying myself but only really half of me was, the other half was trying to get rid of the agression.
I read a lot that alcohol and ocd dont mix and I suffer from intrusive thoughts all through the day but lst night I woke up in the night with a new one ive not had before. I had like and image or an urge to physically hurt my bf, or a thought liek I might lose control and hurt him!! I've never had this one before and so it came right out of left field, I couldnt handle it, woke him up and had to take a diazapam which I have only ever taken once. I havent felt that anxious for a while and the thought really scared me and, as I was argumentative and quite agressive with my man in the night (i shoved him jokingly) I was thinking "what if i did hurt him, what if i wanted to, what if next time i do"
So then I got no sleep, had to tell my mum (who i work and live with) that i culdnt go to work cus of the diazapam and then almost lost my job for not going into work! and thought i was going to have to move out!
luckily we worked it out and my job and home is safe but im sure it was the alcohol that made it ten times worse!
has anyone had similar experiences with alcohol and ocd? as always, any advice would be gratefully recieved.