i'm confused ._.

[hoppipolla]

i'm tired of feeling like i'm under the watchful eye of my parents. i'm tired of feeling so small and controlled ._.

i wanna go glastonbury and festivals and be wild and young and have fun but i feel so crushed and like... kind of like on a very short leash.

i keep telling myself "then break free! just go, break away and be you and have fun!" but i can hear them in my head criticising me, i can hear everyone judging me and watching me and ._.

waiting for me to slip up.

i feel scared :(

my head is hazy and messy and confused and full of so, so many conflicting thoughts. So much self-doubt it hurts

[groovygranny]

Sorry you're feeling poopy Hoppi :huh:.

Do you live with your parents? My youngest daughter is just 1 year older than you and I remember her feeling exactly the same just before she left to go back-packing around Australia for 12 months !!

She was desperate to fly the nest, and at one point was going to move in with her then boyfriend and his brother and gf - but chickened out at the last minute! Although she quite obviously wanted, and needed, her independence she also appreciated her home comforts! But she still felt a lot like you do now.

We tried, as best we could, to give her as much independence as possible - but when you're a young adult still living with parents it's almost impossible to have the same independence as you would have if you lived alone or with flatmates. Of course, if you don't live with your parents this will all be totally irrelevant to you!:blush:(I'm trying to keep this short, but like you I love to talk and it's difficult!!).

It's certainly not wrong to want to break free - it's perfectly normal, but you must try not to worry what your parents are going to think of you. You really owe it to yourself to live in freedom from concern over criticism from your parents. There's probably no easy way to do this of course. Nothing is ever 'that easy' for people like us is it? But just because things aren't easy doesn't mean they're impossible.

I'm probably right off beam here, but thought you might like to hear things from a parent's point of view. BTW, it wasn't until my daughter returned from Australia (and she had some scary times there as well as great times!) and we were talking about my 'black times' that she confessed she was feeling really depressed, anxious and totally scared right up until she boarded the plane at Heathrow - and by then there was no going back!

I do hope you find a way through this :hugs:

[groovygranny]

Hello Star,

No of course you're not babbling on at all! And it's fine to 're-bump' a thread!! (I love that terminology!)

Look, at 23 it's perfectly reasonable for you to want to be independent - I'd be concerned if you weren't!

Is there a Youth Advisory Service in your town? I know here in Plymouth they have been a great help to many young people in all sorts of ways from finding work to training to finding a new home. And they will give you financial advice too.

Remember that you're not a child anymore, you're a grown woman in your own right - but your mum, because she is concerned for you, is treating you like one - and probably unintentioanlly. I know my girls say to me sometimes "oh, mum! stop being such a mum!" and two of them have children of their own now lol!

Anyway, not sure if I've been much help but here's a hug :hugs::hugs::hugs:or three!

:flowers:

[sagey]

Try talking to your Mum about your own hopes and aspirations and ambitions. Ask her how she sees you in 5 years time. when she's had her say, then tell her what YOU hope for and how you plan to achieve it. See if you can involve her with your ambitions and maybe it will give her a shove to see you as a unique individual.
I'm a fusspot mum and frequently underestimate my sons. I'm truly delighted at how well they cope with the nasty big wide world and I always make a point of letting them know how much I admire them.