hello, just joined

[ellenclarke81]

Hello, i'm ellen
i feel weird doing this but im on my own and need someone to talk to. I feel to bad letting my parents or boyfriend know cos it brings them down.
im 23 and about 18 months ago my life fell apart for no reason. i started having panic attacks and anxiety. ive been through medication and couselling but none of it has cured me. i had a spell of doing nothing, not even eating or dressing but i got through that by fighting. ive managed to get a part time job in a call centre cos a nice lady at an agency had panic attacks and sorted it out for me, but now im scared im going to lose it again cos i keep calling in sick when i cant handle it.
i just want to know why it isnt getting any easier. ive read all the books and done all the exercises. i dont avoid things ive been fighting like hell, and even though ive managed to do things they just aren't getting any easier. every day feels like a battle to do the simplest things.
ive applied to do a course at university next year, but realistically i cant see how it could happen. I vaguely thought that by next sept id be okay, but this has been happening for nearly two years now and i still cant do things as simple as going to work every day. i feel like ive done everything im supposed to do and its all failed. i cant go on like this, i feel the fight is almost running out in me.

[Karen]

Hi Ellen

Welcome to the site. I'm sorry you are having a difficult time at the moment. It sounds like you have been fighting this really hard and I know it takes a lot of strength to do that. I am fighting depression and it also feels like an uphill struggle.

I'm not sure we are ever completely 'cured' but just find ways of managing the anxiety and panic.

Well done for working part time and applying for university. The people here are all very friendly and I am sure you will get a lot of support.



Briary



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[ellenclarke81]

Thankyou. Its nice to even be able to contact other people who know how i feel. I knew they existed before but have never spoken to any of them.

[minny]

Hi Ellen!

Sorry things have been rough for you lately but help is around. Dont give up just yet! Youve proved you have strength by applying for a job and a place at university so dont be hard on yourself.
You say youve tried everything! Sometimes we can all try that little bit too hard which puts undue pressure on ourselves. We then panic about failure.
You need to be nice to yourself and find a way that suits you to relax. Pamper yourself a little and try not to put any pressure on yourself. Easier said than done but when you finally hid on a relaxation method, then trying to solve your issues becomes a little easier.

The people here are wonderful and will support you! :)

Good luck

Love Minny..xxx

[seh1980]

hello Ellen,

Welcome to the site!! I'm sure you will get loads of support here. It sounds like you are doing all the right things to try to overcome your panic attacks. I have found that the key to recovery is patience. You are doing all the right things so I'm sure you will start to get better in time!!

Sarah :D

[nomorepanic]

Hi Ellen

Welcome aboard.

I have to say that I read your post and could see a lot of me in what you said. I went through a phase of trying everything and nothing seemed to help and I couldn't see end there was to it.

It helped me by writing this site and getting in contact with fellow sufferers as we can all support and help each other.

Have you tried something called Rescue Remedy - it takes the edge off panic when it is really bad.

You are doing well to work and it will give you some structure in your day but I appreciate that it is horrid feeling that at work.

I hope you get some great advice here and we will help all we can.


Nicola

[jo-jo]

Hi Ellen

A big welcome to the forum :D As hard as it may seem now, with time and patience things and and will get better for you.

Remember, you're never alone and we're always here to support you on your road to recovery.

Best wishes, Jo x

[Meg]

Dear Ellen,

Welcome to the site.

Well done for finding us here and looking for your own support .

I'm assuming that you have had a check up and you are definately suffering with panic and anxiety .

Do tell us a bit more about your circumstances leading up to the events when it all started and what help you've had so far.

What do you fear now in your day to day life.





Meg

It is impossible to get out of a problem by using the same kind of thinking that it took to get into it.
- Albert Einstein.

[jill]

Hi Ellen

Welcome to the site,
You have come to the right place. There are lots of
nice people here who will give you lots of support and
advice.
With alot of hard work support and time things WILL
get better.

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXXX

May your troubles be less
and your blessings be more
and nothing but happiness
come through your door..

[mico]

Hi Ellen

Anxiety's frustrating at the best of times. Sometimes you just get so down about it that you can't see where it will end. The thing is, is that there can be an end, even if that's not clear to you now. When you are feeling any type of emotion, your thinking becomes distorted and sometimes irrational, which means whatever you're thinking isn't necesarilly true.

University could be a good oppurtunity for you, so you may want to leave that door open, and having a goal like that can sometimes be a good motivator. Try to keep your thoughts as positive as possible, you won't get better overnight, but by the times the years out, you may find you've made a big improvement. It's far from easy - as you've found out - but certainly is possible, you just need to believe in yourself.

Oh, and welcome!

mico

[Rennie1989]

welcome to the forum ellen

we all have our bad times! hope ur ok today

Scooter Girl

if i was hungry would you feed me, if i fell you help me up, if i was crying would you brush away my tears

[brodie]

[8)]hi i joined yesterday, i started with panic attacks about 18mths ago. in that time i've been 2 court over my son , his useless father wanting more contact (and it being given] my husband works upto 5 wks away, and we had financal problems and 6mths ago i had a beautiful baby girl and planned our wedding in 7 weeks, and i started wrk 3 wks ago.I know im mad, i barely relax, hence the attacks.But the more i stop ie days off wrk and avoiding personal issues, the worse the attacks.I too feel silly talking to friends and family but i try to take each day as it comes and i try to plan as little as possisble.This way i dont worry and panic over 'little' things.I see each day as a achievement.

[ellenclarke81]

Thankyou for all your kind words. It really is true that other people understand! Wow!
I'm having a bad day today. I keep arguing with my partner. I'm feel that he has had enough of all this nonsense and is pulling away. He's never really known how to deal with it, so ive gone to my mother a lot, but because ive been at my mum's a lot its made it worse. He's kind of buried himself in hobbies etc, and now he's away a lot and seems to just kind of disregard me a lot of the time. I think i'm losing him, he just doesn't know how to cope with my anxiety and so he's started pulling away. I don;t feel that i can cope if i lose him, we had planned our future together. And yet, he's not giving me any of the support that i need at the moment. I dont know what to do.

[RH]

Hello Ellen,

I am new to the forums as well but just knowing there are other people there will help you.
My Panic and anxiety seemed to come along for no reason to.
But when I look back know it was because I was stressed and unhappy.

I’d read all the info about exercise, diet and relaxation etc. on this site because it really does help.
My anxiety levels are nowhere near what they were and I don’t have full panic attacks anymore.

Keep trying, believe me you can feel better.

Richard.

[Meg]

Hi Ellen ,

Sounds like you need a bit more communication to understand whether it is just this or more to it .

It is very hard for others to understand and know what to do and its a natural reaction to pull away.

If it is just the anxiety he can't cope with maybe print him off some threads and web pages from the site so he can see that there is help and you can get better. This is NOT how you will be forever .Its just a transient phase.

If he's willing to learn what he can do to support you and help you through then I know my partner would speak to him and give him some pointers.


Meg

It is impossible to get out of a problem by using the same kind of thinking that it took to get into it.
- Albert Einstein.

[vernon]

Hi Ellen welcome to the site, you have done the right thing talking about it and comming to this site, I am sure you will get lots of help and advice here. I to have suffered for 40 years on and off and know if someone hasnt suffered themself cant understand what we go through. I think you might be fighting the anxiety too much? cos as you know fighting just adds more anxiety, then adds fear to the fear. You are so right doing as much as you cant, but try and do it relaxed and not tence and fighting it. I am sorry about your B?F why not ask him to read some of this site and see it that will make him understand a bit more. We also have a chat room a lot of members come to in the evenings, I find this helps me to chatting to other suffers. the address is http://pub4.bravenet.com/chat/show.php/342349380 u can join in the chat or just watch, everyone there are friendly and helpfull, and we even have a laugh there. so take care all the best for now Vernon