Relationships

[Colicab85]

Apologies if this is not in the correct forum. Wasn't sure where it should be.

I feel like I'm about to lose my partner. The last 8 months have been the worst of my life but I've been so focused on me that I've neglected her.

We are just not where we were. We barely have any physical relationship anymore, granted my appetite for this has been non existent but I can't help but feel like it's a bad thing.

I love her so much but I know I'm losing her. She's just broke down and told me that she can't carry on like this.

I feel so guilty, useless, a burden and I'm holding her back from having the proper life that she deserves.

I don't know what to do? I am really worried that the damage is irreversible.

[Pepperpot]

Can you not sit down and chat with her and ask her what she wants from you? Maybe if you have a starting point of what you can do to make things better it will help

[Fishmanpa]

As someone who was in your partner's position, making a concerted effort to help yourself goes a long way. Going to therapy, taking meds if necessary and involving her in your treatment and progress can be a positive. I can honestly say, having ended a marriage due to mental health issues, if my ex had made an effort, things may have been different. She gave up herself and thus, us.

Positive thoughts

[pulisa]

You say that you have been so focussed on yourself that you have "neglected" her. Could you try to work on being more involved with her and what she is doing rather than being self-absorbed with your own issues. It's worth trying this if you feel that you are going to lose her. It won't be easy for you but she must be worth it?

[SLA]

Talk asap.

Keep it short, but be honest. Show strength whilst talking about it, try not to break down.

Keep it immensely positive, and make it all about her.

Above all, keep it together,

[Phuzella]

What pulisa said ^^ :)

---------- Post added at 10:26 ---------- Previous post was at 10:22 ----------

Anxiety makes people selfish. Sometimes you have to see things from other people's point of view. Everyone has their own worries so try to feel how things are in their shoes

[SLA]

...at the same time though she needs to respect that you have been struggling with your own mental game.

Anxiety does not make us selfish. But it severely limits our ability to think about other people.

Its tough maintaining a relationship while you are barely holding your own s**t together!!

It contributed to the downfall of my relationship.

[Colicab85]

Thank you all.

This would be the worst thing that could EVER happen if it all goes wrong.

As much as i haven't told her, shes the only thing thats kept me together.

I just find it so hard to be positive at the moment. My entire mind is taken up by morbid thoughts, negativity and fear.

I need to sort this out, asap.

Really excited by CBT.

[SLA]

Thank you all.

This would be the worst thing that could EVER happen if it all goes wrong.

As much as i haven't told her, shes the only thing thats kept me together.

If it's any consolation, I felt like this shortly before my break-up.

I even told her that she's the only thing that keeps me going, and that as long as she was in my life things would be ok.

THAT was when she told me it was over.

5 months on, and I can't stand her anymore. :D

People change, life moves on.

Who knows, it might end up being the best thing that ever happens to you, even though it might not feel like it at the time. That's certainly the way I feel about it now.

But who knows, if you stay strong, it could also work out and be the best thing ever.

I did a video about this on saturday. Embrace Change (http://bit.ly/2f897i8)

[pulisa]

It would put a lot of pressure on anyone being told that they were the only thing keeping a person together. Maybe she needs to know that you can take steps yourself to improve things? The CBT sounds a very promising start and is proof that you are being proactive in your recovery.