Hello, my first ever post, some advice?

[LifeIsAnIllusion]

Hello,

Been wanting people to talk to this about because nobody around me has them so they don't really understand how intense they really are... I'll just first introduce myself (I'm only saying I'm lifeisanillusion for now until I feel comfortable about giving my real name) but I'm a digital media agent and my panic attacks are kind of self inflicted through my own mistakes, maybe here I can be more comfortable about talking about this kind of stuff. I basically used to take copious amounts of drugs (MDMA, weed, speed, ketamine, coke, acid, 2cb and whatever else was cut with all that stuff) never saw any issue with it really, I was dumb at the time, and eventually the inevitable happened, I overdosed on MDMA (3grams) and was admitted to hospital, only just survived it and I can't put words on how painful and traumatic the whole experience was for me, the unbelievable fear of dying, hurting all my family and the rest, ever since then I've been getting extremely intense panic attacks and now I'm on sertraline (100mg) though that stuff isn't really working as well as it used to, I sometimes get panic attacks when im hungover and silly enough I've done cocaine once since there in which it made the panic attacks 10x worse for me (full quit now) they normally consist of full adrenaline rushes, palpitations, extreme worry and fear of death, and sometimes some extremely worrying pains that can compare to heart attacks, had them really bad today in fact whilst I was working, I had a bad sharp pain in my chest where my heart is and my jaw and weird feelings in my stomach area, I was close to going to hospital over how real they felt this time around, I took some cocodamol 30/500 which helped calm me down cause it's hard for me to get diazepam, only had it prescribed once and they said it was only a one-off but I was wondering what do you guys think is the best instant reliefs I can do myself? Or a recommendation on a better medication I can ask my doctor for? Reading the side effects for sertraline made me have a damn panic attack so I really was a better one with very calming effects, it would help a lot because I really hate having these panic attacks now, they are really putting me down cause it's getting in the way of my life.

Thank you for your time,

<3

---------- Post added at 19:44 ---------- Previous post was at 19:37 ----------

P.s. are there also any ways without doctors that I can slow myself down when bad? The doctor says to breathe into my hands (cupped) so it simulates breathing into a bag but it rarely works for me :/ I have tried many simple ways like reading out loud and breathing slowly and such but I can't seem to find a way, they are just really upsetting me these days and my family don't help cause every time they get worse they think I'm on drugs again and they stress me out even more

[Mermaid16]

Hi Life

How long have you been on Sertraline for? There are ways that you can deal with panic attacks...although while you are in one, it can be hard to calm yourself down. I guess the main thing to remember is that it can't hurt you. Try saying to yourself, this is a panic attack, it isn't going to hurt me and let it flow through you until it stops. Try to accept that is what it is. Deep breathing exercises, meditation etc are all helpfull. By doing the deep breathing exercises regularly, you are retraining your brain to remain in a more relaxed state. I was on Sertraline for over ten years and it has pooped out. Is it possible this is what you're experiencing? Tracy x

[LifeIsAnIllusion]

That might be happening, I've been on sertraline since may and it was okay at start then ive upped the dose and that was okay but I keep going bad again, it doesn't seem like it had much of an effect even though if I stopped I have like permanent panic attacks, its just they are starting to creep back in and I don't like using codeine to calm me down

[DoraFlora]

All meds (including OTC painkillers, etc) have side effect profiles, so although some people like to know what to expect so they know what is "normal" it is sometimes best not to read that at all.
Point being, side effects can exist yes, but the idea is that the benefit you'll receive outweighs the risks presented. Try to focus on that when switching or starting a new med/dose.

In terms of the throes of an attack. Sometimes I can go for a walk just around the block (seems like a small manageable piece). I find I can only read books that are kids books, or books I was familiar with in childhood (Amelia Bedelia, Narnia series, etc). I really like guided meditations by Bellruth Naparstek (available by download on North American itunes-not sure about in Australia or UK). I can sometimes allow myself to do breathing while listening to her.
Sometimes I play computer games. Something like trivia on Sporcle or solitaire (engaging but not too challenging).

In the worst attacks I can barely keep from vomiting and i have to write things down on a scrap piece of paper or even on my hand.

"This is anxiety. You are familiar with these sensations. They cannot defeat you. This will pass"

Etc.

I hope you find something that works for you.
And maybe a doctor you can trust about whether or not this course of meds is still working at it's optimum.

-Dora

[Carnation]

P.s. are there also any ways without doctors that I can slow myself down when bad?


Walking, listening and following Apps that give you coping skills, meditation, gentle exercise, phoning/texting a friend about something not related to anxiety, praying, playing games, and coming on the Forum to chat. :)