Self sabotage??

[Primula]

I've posted this on a FB health recovery page, but thought I'd ask the question here too.

Why is it that when I've had a long period of feeling good, health anxiety rears it's ugly head? It's almost as if I sabotage myself by thinking "I've been feeling so good" then lo and behold HA will go and throw something at me, and I can never decide whether it's real or something my mind has concocted. Any comments welcome. 😐

I'm fixated on a symptom at the moment and I just can't get my mind off it.

[SLA]

My estimation would be that you realise how well you are doing, which throws up the possibility of having a thought that would mess things up.

Then when you try and resist having a thought that would mess things up, you inevitably have one.

I don't think there is such a thing as conscious self-sabotage. Although maybe there is, and I haven't heard of it.

[Primula]

My estimation would be that you realise how well you are doing, which throws up the possibility of having a thought that would mess things up.

Then when you try and resist having a thought that would mess things up, you inevitably have one.

I don't think there is such a thing as conscious self-sabotage. Although maybe there is, and I haven't heard of it.

Thanks for your reply. I think you are spot on, why would I sabotage myself? No one would want to make themselves go through anxiety. Yes I think it's about resisting the thought, saying things like I mustn't think that,and of course you think it, and so the cycle starts again.:weep:

[EKB]

I am feeling the same way. I had about 3/4 of a day feeling good and then the doubt creeped in. Just like SLA said, I try to resist and then as sure as anything I'm shaking and sick.

I've been trying meditation to help with that part. But I've only just started and it's a learned practice. So I'm trying to be patient with myself and realizing that this will take time and there will be ups and downs. It's hard though.

[Traceypo]

I used to think it was my mind testing me to see how strong I was. During these times I would argue with myself in my head all day, things like 'not helpful', 'dont go there', etc everything I was having a negative thought.
Eventually I don't need to argue anymore, my mind does it automatically as soon as I think something negative so there is no longer a spiral of scary thoughts.
Stressful situations like holidays, social events etc would often be a trigger for 'self-sabotage' for me.
Xx