Intrusive thoughts?

[Scaredlady]

I'm frightened.

My anxiety has been extremely crippling the last two days. I have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday and it can't come soon enough.

I'm terrified of these thoughts but I know they aren't real and I know they aren't a genuine reflection of me as a person but they have intensified recently.

My intrusive thoughts used to come and go but recently it's been a never ending cycle and no amount of distraction has helped. I'm thinking thoughts that I don't want to think - I found a spot earlier and my mind started to race with intrusive thoughts like "It's inside you, they're coming for you". I very quickly corrected that intrusive thought by telling myself that wasn't true and I didn't believe what the intrusive element was saying.

Before my thoughts were based on "What if...." such and such happens but now I seem to be experiencing the type of thoughts a schizophrenic would think - and my anxiety is based upon a fear of developing schizophrenia, so have my intrusive thoughts in essence shifted theme the more anxious I have become about the fear of schizophrenia or is this something new, is it more than an intrusive thought????

In the beginning I was worrying about "What if I start thinking the devil is talking to me?" etc and now recently my intrusive thoughts seem to have grabbed hold of that "What if" worry and is using it extensively and in the most mentally draining and painful way.

I can't stop thinking, my mind is racing 24 hours a day, my sleep is a joke, I'm on edge and I'm desperately battling to talk myself out of the intrusive thoughts.

I'm just really scared that at any moment I am going to lose the ability to rationalise - I spend my life waiting for it to happen, I am literally waiting on becoming schizophrenic and I don't know what to do.

Reading things online from doctors like "I've had some patients who actually identified their own schizophrenia shortly before becoming psychotic" really does convince me all the more. And also that stress can be a factor in developing schizophrenia concerns me greatly because obviously my mind is highly stressed.

My physical symptoms have increased also, excessive bouts of heartburn, chest pain, severe headaches, tinnitus (That in itself is frightening, hearing my heartbeat in my ears and at other times wind like sounds) - and these intrusive thoughts are a battle that I don't know if I can win.

[MyNameIsTerry]

What you are describing is something I've personally seen on this forum loads of times. If someone with OCD is worrying about schizophrenia, I bet you a million quid they will mention one or more of a few symptoms such as hallucinations and without a doubt they always mention paranoia because we all think schizophrenia is about the paranoid person BUT schizophrenia has about 8 forms and one of those is paranoid. This particular form is rarer than others AND if you read what medical professionals say, the kinds of events we read about in the media (like those who violently attack) are usually due to mixing drink & illegal drugs.

Why does no one seem to bother with the other types? Probably because they don't understand they exist and the only type we ever hear in the media (whether films, soaps, in books, etc) are always the violent paranoid schizophrenics because that's the story they want to portray.

Think of it like how most people think OCD is about washing your hands or checking locks. That's a small fraction of OCD and intrusive thoughts dominate OCD sufferers according to some research as opposed to the contamination stereotypes that were assumed to be the most prevalent.

Yes, some schizophrenics do identify that they are going to experience an episode. What you need to be careful with here though is that these people are mostly likely already diagnosed and so have been made ware of how to spot their warning signs so they can seek help. Otherwise it tends to be other people who are calling in the doctors.

[SLA]

Yes, intrusive thoughts are one of the biggest sources of stress, one of the lead causes of anxiety, and are SO COMMON.

YOU DON'T NEED TO TALK YOURSELF OUT OF INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS

They are not chosen by your conscious brain and are not YOUR thoughts.

There is an article in my signature on my experience of intrusive thoughts, and how I managed them and overcame them. Give it a read sometime.

I would type a fresh answer here, but I end up doing that several times a week, its such a common problem.

I'm hell bent on making sure no-one has to suffer with them again. They sent me into a huge depression, and took away a good chunk of my life!