fallingstar
31-10-16, 14:08
Is anyone else really affected by alcohol with their anxiety? What do you do to feel better?
I went out for a night out on Saturday with my nice next door neighbors - all 3 siblings and their father and met their extended family at a local Halloween party. The mom invited me out because I never leave my house. I literally have my daughter all week and sit indoors with Netflix on the weekend and may go to the food store or go take pictures on a hike on my own. So, she said I needed a fun night out with her kids. This family is so good to me - the mom watches my daughter when I attend classes at night and does my hair for me (for free), waters my plants, etc. Great family.
I haven't been out since I came home from staying with my boyfriend in England (I got back October 2nd). I also hadn't had a lot to drink since back in September when he and I flew back to England (we went out with the one daughter and the father to bowl and a friend before that). I've had a few beers here and there at home. Sometimes a few beers will make my anxiety soar. It didn't these past several times - so I thought I was safe having some drinks out the other night. As my boyfriend says, after a couple drinks, you start feeling better, which in turn can make you just have more. Exactly what happened - I started not feeling anxious and was having fun talking to the sisters I went out with and no sign of anxiety or shyness to be found.
I way over did it on the spirits prior to going out. When I was out I was drinking beers only but several of them. I got so sick that I puked at the 2nd place we were at that night. Apparently I puked all over my neighbor - and possibly all of them - but I'm not sure. They had to ship me home early and everyone stayed out after that and continued without me. My anxiety was so bad the next morning and I had the "I think I'm dying" symptoms and couldn't even get down water. I was so depressed and anxious all day - I wasted a whole Sunday - even though I wasn't going to go anywhere, with Sunday being my day off it is nice to feel okay and not awful on your day off. I've decided that I am not going to drink for a long time. If I do - it will be ONE beer to try a new one if I'm out. Even then, I think I just want to stick to lemonade. An event called Bacon Fest is coming up in my adjacent town, which I'm so excited to go to. However, I will not be drinking. The people I'll be going with, one won't drink (she's not a drinker/is the driver anyway) and the other will. So I'm going to join her side of not drinking. I'm so nervous of feeling like this again. I'm sitting at my work desk right now and having bad panic symptoms again. I think my body is in shock from the liquor. My stomach still aches so bad from all the vomiting. I just want to feel semi normal again.
I've been having a rough time of it lately. I'm going for full custody of my daughter (without a lawyer - filed all the papers on my own) - her father has a drinking problem he won't address. He also doesn't bath or feed her - his mom in another apartment of the same building does. He quit his job out of the blue two months ago which means child support could in theory stop at anytime - if it does this month I'm unprepared for that and things may be paid late this week for my bills (I'd be okay after this month and don't need his money - I'd rather just have my daughter full time) - he's a pathological liar - he keeps lying to me and is infuriated about the custody battle. He's not making it easy at all - lying about everything. I'm so nervous about going to court on my own - and hearing him lie lie lie in court - I also think he'll have gotten a lawyer - and I know it's completely irrational but I fear losing my daughter - I know that's irrational.... I have no records and am a good mom, with a good job and go to school. I'm not sure that they will honor my request of him having her every other weekend ONLY under his parent's supervision. Now his parents are backing him - well at least his mom.
My anxiety from the alcohol this weekend is making these feelings of nervousness even worse now. I feel like I've done myself a good job of feeling even worse now. I feel guilty for going out and drinking and trying to have a good time.... and I've come to the conclusion that I like sitting talking with a friend at their house vs. going out "partying" and that I enjoy my solo hikes and I enjoy my time at home watching Netflix relaxing. I wish I could go back to Saturday and drink way less or just have stayed home... the anxiety that follows drinking when you have anxiety is not worth it. It may take me days to feel normal again.
I went out for a night out on Saturday with my nice next door neighbors - all 3 siblings and their father and met their extended family at a local Halloween party. The mom invited me out because I never leave my house. I literally have my daughter all week and sit indoors with Netflix on the weekend and may go to the food store or go take pictures on a hike on my own. So, she said I needed a fun night out with her kids. This family is so good to me - the mom watches my daughter when I attend classes at night and does my hair for me (for free), waters my plants, etc. Great family.
I haven't been out since I came home from staying with my boyfriend in England (I got back October 2nd). I also hadn't had a lot to drink since back in September when he and I flew back to England (we went out with the one daughter and the father to bowl and a friend before that). I've had a few beers here and there at home. Sometimes a few beers will make my anxiety soar. It didn't these past several times - so I thought I was safe having some drinks out the other night. As my boyfriend says, after a couple drinks, you start feeling better, which in turn can make you just have more. Exactly what happened - I started not feeling anxious and was having fun talking to the sisters I went out with and no sign of anxiety or shyness to be found.
I way over did it on the spirits prior to going out. When I was out I was drinking beers only but several of them. I got so sick that I puked at the 2nd place we were at that night. Apparently I puked all over my neighbor - and possibly all of them - but I'm not sure. They had to ship me home early and everyone stayed out after that and continued without me. My anxiety was so bad the next morning and I had the "I think I'm dying" symptoms and couldn't even get down water. I was so depressed and anxious all day - I wasted a whole Sunday - even though I wasn't going to go anywhere, with Sunday being my day off it is nice to feel okay and not awful on your day off. I've decided that I am not going to drink for a long time. If I do - it will be ONE beer to try a new one if I'm out. Even then, I think I just want to stick to lemonade. An event called Bacon Fest is coming up in my adjacent town, which I'm so excited to go to. However, I will not be drinking. The people I'll be going with, one won't drink (she's not a drinker/is the driver anyway) and the other will. So I'm going to join her side of not drinking. I'm so nervous of feeling like this again. I'm sitting at my work desk right now and having bad panic symptoms again. I think my body is in shock from the liquor. My stomach still aches so bad from all the vomiting. I just want to feel semi normal again.
I've been having a rough time of it lately. I'm going for full custody of my daughter (without a lawyer - filed all the papers on my own) - her father has a drinking problem he won't address. He also doesn't bath or feed her - his mom in another apartment of the same building does. He quit his job out of the blue two months ago which means child support could in theory stop at anytime - if it does this month I'm unprepared for that and things may be paid late this week for my bills (I'd be okay after this month and don't need his money - I'd rather just have my daughter full time) - he's a pathological liar - he keeps lying to me and is infuriated about the custody battle. He's not making it easy at all - lying about everything. I'm so nervous about going to court on my own - and hearing him lie lie lie in court - I also think he'll have gotten a lawyer - and I know it's completely irrational but I fear losing my daughter - I know that's irrational.... I have no records and am a good mom, with a good job and go to school. I'm not sure that they will honor my request of him having her every other weekend ONLY under his parent's supervision. Now his parents are backing him - well at least his mom.
My anxiety from the alcohol this weekend is making these feelings of nervousness even worse now. I feel like I've done myself a good job of feeling even worse now. I feel guilty for going out and drinking and trying to have a good time.... and I've come to the conclusion that I like sitting talking with a friend at their house vs. going out "partying" and that I enjoy my solo hikes and I enjoy my time at home watching Netflix relaxing. I wish I could go back to Saturday and drink way less or just have stayed home... the anxiety that follows drinking when you have anxiety is not worth it. It may take me days to feel normal again.