FlightlessFlamingo
31-10-16, 23:22
Hello,
I've been lurking for a while and reading a lot of old threads during panic attacks. It seems to be one of the only things at the moment which will calm me down, so it made sense to take the next step and join up (although for some reason it is taking me a lot to post here).
I have a long history with anxiety and other mental health problems, since I was around 9/10yrs old, but for the last year, after being pretty much anxiety/depression free for about 3 years, I've developed quite intense Health Anxiety.
I'm in limbo at the moment about whether to tell my doctor about this. I've come to the conclusion that I cannot deal with it alone (I usually deal with panic/anxiety by diving head first into whatever I'm afraid of, but it just doesn't work like that with health anxiety, like what am I supposed to do, just go out and try and get cancer!?), but I am TERRIFIED that once my doctor knows about this then no health professional will ever take me seriously again, and then I will definitely die.
Logically I know this is rediculous and I should do the thing I'm afraid of (telling the dr about HA) but when I'm in that place where I'm so convinced that will result in my death, I just can't do it.
No one in my life has any idea about this. I'm completely on my own. My partner may have some inkling, but it's more like the joking "oh you're such a hypochondriac!" rather than "this is ruining your life, you need serious help now". I hide massive panic attacks very well and always incognito mode my googling. I'm becoming a secretive liar and I hate that. I hate that I can't even self harm anymore to help me cope because there will be no way to hide it from her and I've wasted hours thinking of ways to hide it. Instead I think I'm relapsing into another mental health problem (which forum rules say cannot be discussed, am I allowed to name it even?) which could kill me anyway.
Sorry about the essay.. Hi everyone! :yesyes:
I've been lurking for a while and reading a lot of old threads during panic attacks. It seems to be one of the only things at the moment which will calm me down, so it made sense to take the next step and join up (although for some reason it is taking me a lot to post here).
I have a long history with anxiety and other mental health problems, since I was around 9/10yrs old, but for the last year, after being pretty much anxiety/depression free for about 3 years, I've developed quite intense Health Anxiety.
I'm in limbo at the moment about whether to tell my doctor about this. I've come to the conclusion that I cannot deal with it alone (I usually deal with panic/anxiety by diving head first into whatever I'm afraid of, but it just doesn't work like that with health anxiety, like what am I supposed to do, just go out and try and get cancer!?), but I am TERRIFIED that once my doctor knows about this then no health professional will ever take me seriously again, and then I will definitely die.
Logically I know this is rediculous and I should do the thing I'm afraid of (telling the dr about HA) but when I'm in that place where I'm so convinced that will result in my death, I just can't do it.
No one in my life has any idea about this. I'm completely on my own. My partner may have some inkling, but it's more like the joking "oh you're such a hypochondriac!" rather than "this is ruining your life, you need serious help now". I hide massive panic attacks very well and always incognito mode my googling. I'm becoming a secretive liar and I hate that. I hate that I can't even self harm anymore to help me cope because there will be no way to hide it from her and I've wasted hours thinking of ways to hide it. Instead I think I'm relapsing into another mental health problem (which forum rules say cannot be discussed, am I allowed to name it even?) which could kill me anyway.
Sorry about the essay.. Hi everyone! :yesyes: