View Full Version : meeting with boss tomorrow
I couldn't decide where to put this. I was tempted for humour, but not too sure!
title says it all really! I have meeting with boss tomorrow and the anx is rising as I write. I have gone from a bit jittery earlier today, to upset tum, to several trips to loo (TMI I know!) to sore chest etc etc. You all know the symptoms, I don't need to tell you!
However, my friends and family in their unending support and wisdom have been imparting bits of advice. This really is worth sharing!
Psychiatrist: Just think of the worst thing she can do
errrrrrrrrr, Fire me, refuse to let me cut hours, make me feel small, make me cry in my own house........
Therapist: Are you 'really' bothered if she is stroppy with you?
Has she not been listening for the past umpteen months??????????
Mum: Just be assertive!
LOL LOL LOL. ROFL!!!!! It is my inability to be so, that I am in this bleeding mess in the first place!
Friend: Imagine her naked
No way mate! Euch! I would be signed off for another few months after that trauma!
Hubby: If she is nippy, Just tell her to f**k off!
Mmmm, me thinks that would not go down too well!
Go on ,give me some more wisdom! the more obscure the better! If nothing else I will meet her tomorrow and laugh so much she will see that I am just not fit to return!!!!!
happyone
xx
Hello Happyone
Don't know if this will help but I guess you are trying to cut down your hours? Everyone has the right to request flexible working in law and there is a specified procedure the employer has to acknowledge in order to let you know if this is possible or not. They have to be able to objectively justify why you cannot work more flexibly or you can firstly appeal, if you lose, call in ACAS, or refer to Empl. Trib. If you lose on appeal, you are not allowed to apply to work flexibly for one year. Anyway, enuff of the law stuff.
Family and friends are trying to help but they often very much underestimate our predicaments!! Hope it all goes well. Let her do the talking and you do the listening. This will give you time to make a much more considered and un-emotional response. Management aren't hard to confuse!!
Good luck
Kay x
nomorepanic
02-04-07, 21:55
Why don't you ask if you can go back part-time and see how that goes for now?
Good luck with the appointment tomorrow mate, will be thinking of you :hugs:
Lisa x
Hubby: If she is nippy, Just tell her to f**k off!
I'm with hubby on this one - I actually did do this once for real and still don't know how I managed to keep the job. It was the talk of the building for days!!
You can't do it more than once a decade I've found, cos it loses its powers to be startling after that and you just become a foul mouthed :ohmy: :blush: :yesyes: agoraphobic instead!! :winks:
Anyway if she is 'nippy' with you then sod it, come and do something clever with rafia matting in the corner with me!:yesyes:
Piglet :flowers:
I'm with hubby on this one - I actually did do this once for real and still don't know how I managed to keep the job. It was the talk of the building for days!!
:ohmy: Good on you Piglet :winks:
Never done that myself - I have tried the imagining the boss naked one though - luckily that particular boss was a gorgeous hunk! :yesyes:
Lisa x
hi happyone,
you have my symapathies on this one...my boss came to my house when I was off sick too and I felt just like you. My boss was indeed the original 'nippy sweetie' lol. I was sick with nerves and standing up to her didnt come into it...she chewed people up and spat them out just for a laugh:wacko: ! I reverted to being a child just thinking about her (still do...and shes not my boss any more)
On the day itself she couldnt have been more charming and nauseatingly kind. I made sure I had hubby there as a witness and I was sure hed think I'd made all the nasty stuff up...but he saw right through her. You have a right to ask for reduced hours, particularly if its for the sake of your health. She will need to tread very carefully I think, or you would have grounds for grievance and if she knows anything she'll know this. And remember if shes coming to you shes on your territory, a guest in your house so you have the advantage right away.
Take deep breaths hun...this time tomorrow it'll be over. I'll be thinking of you.
Good luck :hugs:
Coni X
Thanks folks!
I know that there isa law that says you can apply for flexible working, but my understanding is that we are exempt from it on account of it being shift work. I know that flexible working can be varied in it's formats but the last time one of my coleagues tried to get this it caused such a hoo haa that I don't feel brave enough to attempt it. This is the infuriating part, as before all this, I would have been the one to say 'bring it on!'
Nicola, I do work part time, I just want to be 'more' part time:blush: I work shifts and I know it will play havoc with my mental health (I have also been advised that I should try to get out of shifts). I could ask for redeploymnet, but I get paid more for working shifts. So I can earn the same working two shifts as I would 3 days. I think I can manage two shifts, but not back to back ie a late then an early and this is what I think she will mostly be p'd off about, as my job involves me to sleep there. My meds mean I need at least 9 hours in bed, then at least another hour to come to. On a late early there is only 9 hours between one finishing and the next one starting. That is not taking into account wind down time, time to get up etc.
Originally Posted by happyone http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?p=206088#post206088)
Hubby: If she is nippy, Just tell her to f**k off!
I'm with hubby on this one - I actually did do this once for real and still don't know how I managed to keep the job. It was the talk of the building for days!! LOL piglet! The thing is, once upon a time I would have! I used to be very brave! I can still be brave but it causes such a bad effect afterwards for so many days that I now tend to shut up (then come on here and tell all of you instead!:blush: )
thanks for your replies! I had really just wanted to share what I felt was humouress advice from friens and family (go 50/50, ask the audience?)
happyone
xx
honeybee3939
03-04-07, 09:35
Good luck for today !
:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:
Hope it all goes well !
Love
Andrea
xxxx
Oh thank you andrea!
the count down is on, 35 mins......
I have a very upset tum and do you think your heart can survive 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000
beats per minute????
happyone
xx
Hi Happyone, the anticipation is undoubtedly worse than the event. When you get there you'll be fine (well that's what happens me). Good luck and let us know later how you've got on.
good luck x:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :yesyes:
How did it go then mate?
:hugs:
Lisa x
Ah well! I breathe a sigh of relief! My meeting is over!
Boss told me she does have to refer me to occupational health, which is what I wanted anyway.
I told her I wanted to reduce my hours. So she suggested instead of me doing 3 shifts and reducing to 2 , I spread my hours out over 5 days! Agh No! I was very proud of myself and said 'that would affect my work and life balance too much and cause me further sress. It is not so much my hours I want to reduce as the amount of days I work. I only want to work 16 hours, two shifts. she said that as a manager, she would much rather I was around for more than that but as an individual she can see where I am coming from. Also, as an individual who has been off sick long term, the department have an obligation to make reasonable adjustments, so the long and short of it is she will be willing to accomodate it. If I ever feel like going back to 3 days then fine, if not then fine too!
I did tell her if she couldn't accomodate it, I was looking for a redeployment so she obviously doesn't want me to go.
I also said that I couldn't do a late then an early shift as it interferes with my medication/recovery time. She understood this one completely and said she would accomodate this too.
SO!!!!! I can go to occupational health and say that I have discussed all of this and they will hopefully make the necessary recommendations!
thanks for support folks.
happyone
xxx
Hi mate,
Well that all sounds very positive :D . Well done :hugs: . Sounds like it's going to all work out in your favour now. Well done for being assertive and saying what you needed too :hugs: .
Lisa x
Hi Happyone
Well done with coping so well with the meeting and for getting the outcome you were looking for. Sounds like you were very assertive to me :winks:
It's good your boss is willing to listen and accommodate the changes where possible.
I think you've had a very positive and productive day :)
Karen xx
Well done you!!! You seem to have got what you want and that's a result.
WOW well done happyone!!! It's a surprise when these things turn out well isn't it!! We actually sound in quite similar positions, now both waiting for the Occupational Health report. Unfortunately I run out of full sick pay in 3 weeks which is a bit scary... How long have you been off?
I saw the OH last year and he didn't know what he was doing, which is perhaps why they have a new person doing it. It is so difficult to be assertive about your own health issues and needs because it means having to tell people how bad you feel when if you're like me you keep trying to sweep it all under the carpet. I have only a rug and a huge rock these days though lol!!!
You must be really good at your job and they obviously appreciate you because (I know you work for the Council) they certainly aren't always as accommodating, especially for shift workers, care workers etc.. so you did really well and should be very proud... and DO take on board that this went so well because they DO VALUE YOU!!!
Hoorah - hope the OH appointment goes as well as this (and for me too!).
Love n hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Oh that's good to hear hun - has that allayed some of the anxiety about returning now??
Fee - I do hope you can work something out too mate as I am sure that in itself is a stressor!
Love Piglet :flowers:
Under~The~Stars
03-04-07, 23:33
Just caught up with this thread hun! But your meeting sounds like it went extremely well considering, and well done for going, and putting your point across! What an achievement! Well done you! :yesyes:
I'm very proud of you!! :yesyes:
Definitely a step in the right direction :winks:
Lou xxx :hugs:
Thanks folks,
your unending support means so much as always!
Fee I have been off 6+ months. My full pay has run out, my ssp runs out soon. I think I will be returning end of April.
Without any false modesty here, I know I am good at my job. That is the reason I thought she might be nippy about it as they are running on agency staff just now and they can't get good consistent workers. However, I do feel good that she wants me to stay 2 days rather than ask for redeployment.
I so hope your OH meeting goes well. I have to hope they will back up my request to drop days as well. If I get the same person as last ime, I shall hopefully be ok as I took a panic with her the last time and she reckoned I would be off for a very long time.
Fee, make sure you tell OH everything. Do not sweep things away or be dismissive of them. They can only share with your employers what you agree.
The last time I went, I told them all. The psychs, the disappearing, the mad thoughts, everything. All the things I was ashamed about. I think the poor woman thought I was on my way to Bedlam!
Piglet, yes the anx is dissapating a bit. I am not worrying too much about the OH meeting, I can put that to one side and worry about that later! I think....wait for it....I might actually be looking forward to going back in a way!
Everyone else, thank you!
I love you all!
happyone
xx
Well done for all the positive thinking. OH will sort out the arrangements for your return and it's great that you're looking forward to it.
honeybee3939
04-04-07, 09:48
HI Happyone
Sounds like the meeting went well for you.:) Well done for coping so well, i hope now things can get sorted and you can move forward, fewer hours seems to be a good idea. i went back to work Part-Time and it did me the world of good, im sure it will for you too hun.:hugs:
WELL DONE !
Love
Andrea
xxxx
Hi mate,
You're sounding very positive about going back to work now, well done :hugs: . Hope you've had a good day :flowers:
Lisa x
Hi
Just read all the above posts and found it interesting. I work shifts as a caretaker at my local school for the council. Though i have panic/anxiety i have been able to work and started this new job in May last year. I have unfortunately been bullied by my boss and 2 other work collegues, also have hurt my back on 3 occions. So in December my CPN advised me that i go off sick and in the mean time i would be able to look for another job. I have to say i have never worked shifts before and i hate it. So far i have had no luck looking for another job and my full pay finishes in May. I have a meeting with HR on the 17th April and i just do not know what to do. I really do not want to work shifts, so i asked my Union if it was possible for me to go back working 9 to 5 but he says that's very unlikely that they will agree to that. I was thinking that is the only way i would go back to that job. Also you cannot change people and though one of the bullies retires in April and hopefully is not going to stay on at work. My boss and other worker will still be there and they made my life very miserable when i was at work. To the extent that when my shift had finished i was always sick as i was just so glab that i had got through another day. was also haveing nighmares about the job and haveing to return to it. As time has gone on i have got better but i suppose that is becasue i am away from the situation. Just the thought of meeting my boss again makes me ill.
I have to say the Union guy has been no help at all really and i was wondering if it would be best to have meeting at my house with just my CPN with me. At the moment the meeting is going to be held at the Union head quaters. Also i don't think they won't me back i think they were hopeing that i was not going to return. So was i lol but so far there is no hope of me finding another job.
Pauline
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