View Full Version : schiz worries still - please help
I still cant escape the thiught i am or am becoming schiz. I am sensitive to anything i hear now, its straining my relationship and making me feel crap. My boyf has said that most things i have worried about hearing he hears too. I was/am worrying about what i think are mind pops (random unrelated words) and constant. Sometimes overlapping thoughts. Again Dan has said he gets these too. I was worried someone growled my name but my first thiught was that it was a squeaky chair/someone watching a video nearby (was in a tram station) but anxiety then made me question if it was a voice.
I gues i was worried about light flash i saw at night too. I'm scared of hearing or seeing things worse than what i assume i have already. Can ocd/anxiety develop into schiz? I worry because of my age.
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I actually feel sick with worry. Everyone tells me i am not. When distracted i am fine but when i worry about schiz i feel sick with nerves
MyNameIsTerry
01-11-16, 12:44
Mind Pops are triggered by subtle things. Think of how a smell can trigger a memory.
Mind Pops are experienced by everyone since they are how the subconscious mind works. Yes, schizophrenics do have them too but they are a concern for them as they form the beginning of hallucinations and you DO NOT have hallucinations.
Yes, focus on the anxiety and not your fear of being schizonphrenic.
The anxiety and thoughts are causing the problem. Once you manage that your fears will be greatly reduced.
Thanks guys. So when i thought i saw light shade move isnt an hallucination? Or when i thought isaw numbers moved. As i could explain the poster had bits flapping by it?
---------- Post added at 20:35 ---------- Previous post was at 20:35 ----------
Again, my boyfriend has said this is common.
Does any of what ive said indicate anything remotelyschizophrenic?
MyNameIsTerry
01-11-16, 23:01
There are schizophrenics with OCD. Science has yet to determine links. This leaves you with the question every other OCDer is faced with - do I spend my life worrying about this possibility or try to live? There area people on the OCD asking the same question who are too old to even be in the category for schizophrenia AND it's worth mentioning something NoPoet has said in here that most people recover fully from schizophrenic episodes.
You won't know how to spot schizophrenic hallucinations unless you've learnt to do so through being in those situations and even then many still won't spot their symptoms re emerging.
How likely do you think you could do when you don't know how they feel?
You need to use therapy tools to challenge your thoughts. Mind Pops are known, intrusive thoughts are known, Hypnagogia is known, etc. When you experience these, rather than negatively engage with them by questioning them or seeking reassurance, get out the Thought Records and work through them constructively.
---------- Post added at 23:01 ---------- Previous post was at 23:01 ----------
Helen... I'm wondering if you could help me.
My friend Paulette was diagnosed with breast cancer today.
If this was your friend, what would you do to support her, calm her, give her hope?
Sorry to hear your friend has been diagnosed, Nancy. :hugs:
Sorry to hear aboit yoir friend Nancy.
Terry, are you saying I don't have schiz? I remember you have a lot of knowledge on the subject.
Atoxol, i understand your frustrations and thank youfor your replies. I just have such a huge fear I have it.
ServerError
01-11-16, 23:57
You don't have schizophrenia. If you did, you wouldn't be questioning it. Your behaviour, demeanour, language etc would have alarmed those around you to the point they would seek treatment on your behalf and you'd be taken away. You'd probably struggle to see that you had the condition until you'd started taking antipsychotic medication and started receiving therapy. But you know all this.
The one condition you don't seem to worry about is OCD. Yet you clearly do have this, and need to get it treated.
I'd love to hear how you're getting on in South Korea. I hope you're managing to enjoy it.
As one of the people who generally starts out by having a go at you, I feel I must commend you first of all for spending a great deal less time on here. It's a start anyway.
It is disappointing to see you asking about this again, though. What you really need to understand is that this reassurance seeking is merely a part of this vicious circle. You allow your anxiety to continue because you keep feeding into the loop.
Whether it's googling symptoms, seeking reassurance online or in real life, constant self scanning, it's all just adding to the cycle and keeping it going.
You really must try to put a lot more effort into understanding your anxiety and putting into action ways in which you can break this cycle. We can spend all day telling you that you aren't schizophrenic or that you don't have a brain tumour. You know as well as I do that we're wasting our time.
Please realise that you have an illness, but it is anxiety. Why not put some time into researching that and seeing just how much your "symptoms" can be explained by it?
MyNameIsTerry
02-11-16, 00:13
There are people on here who have experience of others who have experienced hallucinations, psychosis, etc and mainly outside of schizophrenia. What they describe is a million miles away from what you do.
What I am saying is that for a schizophrenic to learn to catch their relapse symptoms is hard and they have had professional help in monitoring for that. Even then it mostly comes from the people around them noticing the symptoms or worse they are sectioned because they have progressed into full episodes.
That's not you, Reb. I've not seen anyone on here to date who has had symptoms anywhere near true delusion or hallucination. Your behaviour patterns are in line with your earlier diagnosis of OCD. You've jumped themes on several occasions and the impact to your posting has been the same each time.
The problem in your anxiety is your hyper awareness to symptoms. Then your mind is hinting at your fears and you react with fear which only strengthens them. Until you work on this, this will likely be your life - chasing reassurance and giving into anxiety.
You saw a doctor. They are trained to spot people who's behaviours are indicative of more serious mental illness. You asked about a brain tumour so that doctor knew to look at your behaviour and this would pick up schizophrenia signs too.
Schizophrenics don't come on here. They wouldn't get the correct support they need outside of their episodes anyway. The people that come here are ask all the same questions, portray classic behavioural traits seen in anxiety/panic/depression, and don't talk like someone with those kinds of Thought Disorders, which stick out a mile when reading what they say. It's not just about the symptoms you talk about, doctors know to look for speech problems, odd thinking (nothing like our irrational thinking), etc.
Nancy, support is all you can give her. Someone to talk and listen to.
Gary, thanm you. Despite still posting on here i am trying to use logic. But now for instance I'm freaking iur because i had a hypnagogic few days backof me saying ihad a brain tumor and then last night i woke up to the word tumor in my thoughts. Anxiety is making me worry I have one and its my subconscious.
Nancy, support is all you can give her. Someone to talk and listen to.
Gary, thanm you. Despite still posting on here i am trying to use logic. But now for instance I'm freaking iur because i had a hypnagogic few days backof me saying ihad a brain tumor and then last night i woke up to the word tumor in my thoughts. Anxiety is making me worry I have one and its my subconscious.
So if you know it's anxiety, why not look more into ways of combatting it? You've clearly got the ability to google health issues, so why not do some research into anxiety?
As Server said, you don't seem at all interested in speaking about illnesses you clearly do have. You constantly sway the conversation away from that and back to these fantasy illnesses.
You must start trying to help yourself.
I've said before that I think health anxiety and OCD overlap to a large degree.
Your brain is highly stressed Helen, making you feel vulnerable, and in constant "threat detection" mode.
You are having these hypnagogic sensations, because it is the PRIMARY focus of your existence at the moment.
The main route out is to start giving your brain periods of rest. No matter how short.
When your brain feels less vulnerable, you'll be able to start rationalizing things more.
Right now, you are still on a downwards spiral.
MyNameIsTerry
02-11-16, 12:15
I've asked this before and you've ignored me, but have you ever thought to visit the OCD forum, rather than just posting in Heath Anxiety? A quick glance in there shows there are several posters obsessing about irrational schizophrenia fear, and talking to people going through a similar thing may be more use to you than having people in this subforum give barely-received reassurances for another 170 threads.
Quite simply - the OCD forum is largely dead on here. People pursuing reassurance like this just won't get it. There are many threads on the HA board by people with OCD. They get more responses because this website is mostly HA people. On the OCD forum you will find a handful of us regulars. The OCD board is virtually all about the Pure O end, most of my OCD rarely comes up.
So, that and fact the forum is set up with a HA board causes a big skew. HA is a non existent medical term after all that ends up overlapping into various disorders, some of which can have no HA elements depending on the sufferer. I think HA people know where they will get the most attention, the HA board and that's why there are so many posts on here with nothing to do with HA that Admin struggle to move.
But using that forum to see that your symptoms & worries are known and to take the advice of others, is definitely worth it.
I could easily pull up threads by people I've come across about Hypnagogic hallucinations, Mind Pops, auditory hallucinations, paranoia over being watched, hidden signs from the TV, etc. All people worried about schizophrenia, they always are. There's obviously a reason this is do well known in OCD circles.
But it's all to easy & convenient to get info from others rather than seek it out. Many people are just like that, it was something that annoyed people at my last workplace as we were forever repeating ourselves.
So i am just being hyper sensitive? Last night there were flashing lights on my curtains like they were outside and i heard noise from my living room/outside. I put it down to mh catschirping at each other because they do this, i hust dont want to become delusional when i could be hearing and seeing things. Am i being irrational?
Terry i looked at the thinking patterns and i dont familarise with any of them.
One thing that has really become apparent on here is the need for external reassurance.
To recover from HA, at some point, your reassurance has to come from within.
In fact, to succeed in life, I think it all has to come from within.
Motivation
Accountability
Validation
Satisfaction
I don't do any of these yet. :D
When i sit down and logically ask myself if i have the above the answer is no. When i ask if i worry i have or will get it the answer is yes. I've lost the support of my family and my boy and i worry i'll be a case of cry wolf. I am using logic to counteract my worry. I heard a phone ringing out, paniced for 0.2 seconds then heard my flatmate on a call. It is tiring to be so jumpy.
It will be tiring. Don't feel guilty for feeling tired. You have a mental health issue.
You need to give your brain a break. Even if you just spend 20 minutes acting like you don't have a problem. Put it aside, and doing something else and just forget about all the BS you are putting yourself through.
Put it this way, it would be easier to actually be schizophrenic and accept it, than to worry and stress that you do have it when you don't.
You have the opportunity to not worry about it, because you don't have it. So take it.
You know deep-down its all illogical.
Start giving yourself permission to no longer care about it.
Thank you. Its almost like i make myself worry. For instance i spent all today with my boyfriend and hes out for the evening so my brain is like 'worry time!' most the time i am pushing it aside andenjoying my job but ill hear a noise and itll put me on edge. My boy has gotten used to my worry face so he will jnow when snd what im worried about. Sometimes before i even ask him he'll say 'yes, i do see/hear/smell that'
The problem with seeking reassurance from other people is that everyones experience is different. So if you sense something that someone else doesn't that would be a problem to you. But its perfectly normal, and happens every day.
So everytime you do hear a phone, and it is a phone, punch the air and start trusting your senses.
I mishear stuff all the time. Its not a sign of a problem.
It's simply the brain trying to recognize a familiar sound. Sometimes it gets it wrong.
In particular when i was at my boyfriends apartment (currently living seperatly due to work) i asked if he could hear a car horn and he couldn't so this triggered me. Logically he lives near a main road AND it was early morning.
See, that is a good example. You heard the horn, he didn't. It triggered you.
Everyone's ability to hear is SO wildly different.
Start asking people less. Even if its only a few times a day, just get out of the habit.
Make not asking fun. Just say... "f**k it who cares if they heard it or not, it doesnt matter anyway."
I think i saw a person out of my peripheral vision but it was barrell. I just had mini freak out thinking i am hallucinating and losing my mind.
brucealmighty
03-11-16, 18:51
how's the teaching going? tell us about south Korea it'll take your mind off things.
Is that an hallucination? I was walking through a field and wondered if i had saw a dog but i hadn't.
Teaching is going great thank you.
brucealmighty
03-11-16, 19:34
glad to hear that. what time is it over there? do you have to travel far to get to the school or is it quite close?
How on earth can you focus on teaching when your mind is so channelled into these fears, Helen? I wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything let alone a new job in a new country
Is that an hallucination? I was walking through a field and wondered if i had saw a dog but i hadn't.
Teaching is going great thank you.
Stop making things up.
You don't have schizophrenia. If you did, you wouldn't be questioning it. Your behaviour, demeanour, language etc would have alarmed those around you to the point they would seek treatment on your behalf and you'd be taken away. You'd probably struggle to see that you had the condition until you'd started taking antipsychotic medication and started receiving therapy. But you know all this.
The one condition you don't seem to worry about is OCD. Yet you clearly do have this, and need to get it treated.
I'd love to hear how you're getting on in South Korea. I hope you're managing to enjoy it.
Its true if you had schizophrenia you wouldn't think you had it.
Well it park, anything with grass to me isa field. And im not working tomorrow dont worry :)
I just worried i heard voices next door. My boyfriend bad said it most definitely is my neighbour's. It sounded like it was next door.
What are you worried about?
I have been struggling to sleep lately tbh. I AM in S.Korea ffs
Well it park, anything with grass to me isa field. And im not working tomorrow dont worry :)
I just worried i heard voices next door. My boyfriend bad said it most definitely is my neighbour's. It sounded like it was next door.
Why do you need your boyfriend to tell you that? Can't you figure that out on your own?
To be honest Helen I wouldn't be surprised if you were ill considering you've just done a massive move to South Korea and started a new job, that's stressful on its own, but you are posting on here at all hours, telling us about these 'thoughts' you're having all day.. doesn't leave much time for anything relaxing
Does your boyfriend have a job over there too?
You don't go into detail about anything, which is unusual to most people, as most would probably discuss the move, the job and new life, but that's completely your prerogative. Just don't be surprised that people find this situation quite peculiar.
What are you insinuating Katie? Ill in what sense?
This isnt a social media site. What do you wnt to know about my life here? Ask away.
---------- Post added at 20:28 ---------- Previous post was at 20:24 ----------
And yes he's working here too as a teacher in another school. It was he who decided the move since we both are tefl qualified. I am able to keep my professional head on
brucealmighty
03-11-16, 20:29
thats exactly why I was asking about south korea too, it`s a massive trip and change and hand on heart I struggled a couple of months back to go on a course with work which was only to cheltenham and 2 nights in a strange hotel.
so it`s not trying to catch you out helen, we have given you all sorts of help and support over the months and it would be nice, or polite at least, to fill us in on the trip and the arrangements.
you`re in a new job in a strange country, still having all your old worries, your boyfriend isn`t living in the same apartment as you which must be hard for both of you, and you haven`t mentioned health care in south korea which is likely to be necessary soon if your worries ramp up.
you don`t have to give huge levels of detail and this honestly isn`t any kind of test or trap but would you tell us about the trip, what the plane journey was like, sights, smells, how the kids have taken to you etc? It will be a good exercise in distraction for you and make us all feel involved in a small way.
I have just re-read your comment, sorry for the defensice attitude. Already been informed that members dont believe im hre.
What are you insinuating Katie? Ill in what sense?
This isnt a social media site. What do you wnt to know about my life here? Ask away.
Don't play the drama queen card, Helen. Clearly I meant Ill through stress you don't need that explaining.
I don't want to know anything about your life personally.
Again, don't act surprised when people find your situation peculiar. 99% of people would discuss their new situation openly.
You expect replies of people who you aren't honest and open with, that's my opinion. You will forever be questioned on here because it's just all very bizarre.
How are you managing with the language barrier, are you taking classes or self learning?
I don't know what it is you're looking for, truly I dont. Are you going to try to learn about ways to combat your anxiety or are you just going to keep up this ridiculous charade?
I have just re-read your comment, sorry for the defensice attitude. Already been informed that members dont believe im hre.
Apology not needed but accepted none the less.
Fair enough.
Well i was afriad of flying until had to endure turbelance! The compant im with are great and very accomodating to international workers, feel very blessed to be here. Just wish i wasnt (or worried about) being schiz.
---------- Post added at 20:38 ---------- Previous post was at 20:36 ----------
Language is hard! I am surving off five basic phrase but we get lessons bi-weekly
ServerError
03-11-16, 20:55
What are you doing to tackle your mental health problem?
MyNameIsTerry
03-11-16, 22:47
Terry i looked at the thinking patterns and i dont familarise with any of them.
Sorry, I'm not sure what you mean. Can you explain please?
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