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groovygranny
02-04-07, 21:31
GG went shopping today. (big mistake):huh:

For holiday items. (even bigger mistake):ohmy:

At Tesco's. (monumental mistake!):mad:

GG had 7 items in her shopping basket......not 27, not 57 just 7 ..... so,...

Eldest daughter suggests we use the 'scan-it-yourself-and-checkout' to save time. GG nods heartily in agreement, even though she is a 'scan-it-yourself-and-checkout' virgin! :noangel::blush: Gonna be a doddle, yes? Er, no not quite...

Man in front of daughter - used it no problem.
Daughter - used it no problem.
GG - used it....................read on..........

GG presses 'start' on the touch screen. GG chuckles when a 3D 'virtual shopper' appears in order to guide guide her through the procedure (GG is easily entertained!):D

1.GG - scans first item.
Machine - 'item not recognised, please scan again' GG complies.
2.GG - scans second item.
Machine - 'item not recognised, please scan again' GG complies (because she's made that way):flowers:
Repeat the above 2 steps for the remaining 5 items.

Machine - 'item not recognised, please scan again'
GG (out loud) - " I have, 14 times!"
Daughter (even louder) - "mum, I can't believe you can't do this!" and re-scans items.
Machine - 'please place item in the packing area' (carrier bag to the uninitiated!)
GG (does quick mental maths) - "but what about the other 6?"
Machine - 'please press pay or finish scanning item' (3D 'virtual shopper' is going backwards and forwards like a 'virtual yo-yo!)

At this point GG leans over to press 'cancel' on the touch screen. Not good. Contents of voluminous (open) handbag fall out and land in carrier bag. This, of course, increases the registered weight of the bag........Come on keep up you lot, this is technology at its best!.....

Machine (sounding considerably louder?)- 'unexpected item in packing area'

Cue 12 pairs of eyes all fixed on GG:shades:...............the shoplifter!:nicked: (eldest daughter is police officer by the way!)

Machine - 'item not recognised.....' (yeah, yeah, we know!)
Eldest daughter taps touch screen with the speed of lightning.
Machine - 'pleases press pay, or finish scanning' (Yey, 'virtual shopper' has ceased yo-yo impersonation and is at 'The Checkout!')

GG - smugly inserts credit card .
Machine - 'please press pay or finish scanning items'
(GG has inserted said credit card upside down....of course she did.)
GG, by this time, is not particularly fussed whether she pays £17.99 or £1,799 she juss wants outta there!:money:

Eldest daughter re-inserts card, items are paid for and.........

Machine - 'transaction complete. Thank you for shopping at Tesco's '

GG (decibels off the scale) " YEAH, NO PROBLEM - I WON'T BE BACK!":lac:

Exit stage right GG (still mumblling and huffing) and red-faced incredibly embarrassed daughter. The whole procedure, or fiasco, had taken a little over 10mins! So much for saving time!

' Tesco - Every Little Helps' - YEAH RIGHT! :w00t2:

Sorry this was more of a novel than a post - but I had to have a rant and get it off me chest!:redcard:

Thanks for 'virtually' listening! :flowers:

nomorepanic
02-04-07, 21:51
GG

Sorry to laugh at you but that was so funny and made my day.:roflmao:

I used the self-checkout a few weeks ago and had got Alex some gin. Of course it has a security tag on it but I ignored that and wandered off after paying!

Mind you - paying was a nightmare cos I wanted to pay on the clubcard but every time I scanned it, it said clubcard accepted please insert payment card and I was trying to pay on the clubcard. In the end I had to pay on a different card!

Anyway - the woman stopped me before I got to the exit and all the buzzers went off and asked if I wanted the security tag removing from the Gin. :doh:

Glad you had fun though :blush:

honeybee
02-04-07, 22:13
that was so so so funny.. my belly's hurting... thanks.. still giggling...

honeybee3939
02-04-07, 22:28
GG Poor you !

Sounds like your trip to Tesco was a right Fiasco !:ohmy:

Made me laugh though !:) :)

Well done for coping so well ! Bet next time you will be using a proper checkout !lol

Love

Andrea
xxxx

Coni
02-04-07, 22:52
GG, that was hilarious...cheered me up no end!!

Coni X

Dave777
02-04-07, 22:57
G.G., you and technology just don't mix ! .... time to get those fluffy slippers, a cup of hot Horlicks, sit in ya rocking chair and watch the Magic Roundabout
:chairfall:



:doh: D.xxxx

mirry
03-04-07, 07:35
G.G, well done , at least you tried and I understand how you wanted out of there fast!!! Tescos makes me Ill.

--------------------------------------------
last week I went shopping with my friend and went to pay and the shop assistant said this isnt a £1 coin its from another country, well I was really annoyed cos I just got that £1 coin from Iceland, so I said to my friend " Im going back to iceland to buy a £1 large family pack of crisps
and then pay with the foriegn £1 coin".
So off to Iceland we go, I pick up the crisps whilst my friend picks up some desserts, I stand in line and pay my £1 coin and the lady took it !!!!
no problem (great), so when me and my friend get out side the shop my friend is laughing so much and explains that she got the foriegn £1 coin back in her change cos she stood behind me in the que. lol.
I think its important to associate good memories with shopping and not just panicking.

groovygranny
03-04-07, 10:21
Hahahaha! You lot makes I laff you do !!:D


Nic - OMG, you're a star I would have just died! hehe!

Dave - saucy b****r, I might have known ! Remind me to kick your shins:buttkick: if I bump into you in the queue for "fluffy slippers" mate, you aint gonna pension me off yet ! I've still got my 'list-of-things-to-do-before-I'm-sixty' remember !

Mirry - I'll be manically checking all my £1 coins from now on...just in case!

GG does seem to bungle her way like a pinball from calamity to calamity, (book comes out soon!) but I can see the funny side of it now, thanks all!

manmoor
03-04-07, 10:31
GG tat was so bloody funny hun thanks for making me giggle xxx :hugs:

JulieAs45
03-04-07, 10:45
GG that made me laugh so much hun!:roflmao:

I hate going to Tesco cos i always panic in there so have decided i am going with you next time as you would be a welcome distraction!

Please take me out on your next adventure :winks: !!!

Julie x

Dave777
03-04-07, 15:30
Hey G.G. why are you an "Intermediate Member" and I'm only a "Junior"!?
It just aint fair !
PS. is this a bit naughty or is it my mucky mind?:madness: xx

groovygranny
03-04-07, 20:22
'Cos I'm older than you, so stop sulking!:okay:

PS: :madness:6 of one and half a dozen of the other if you ask me !!

(I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that, but you said it first :shades: lol !!)

Piglet
03-04-07, 23:26
PMSL!!! :yesyes:

Piglet :flowers:

feege
04-04-07, 00:22
oh how wonderful - good to know I'm not alone!! I'm way too scared to try self-scanning! I have enough trouble with guided chip n pin lol! Thanks for making me laugh - and you Nic!!!

As for you Dave.... I can't stop laughing at that smiley now!
:madness: :oopsie: :emot-giggle: :emot-giggle: