Taking over my life

[Scared-to-human]

Hey guys I'm new here.
I'm going through the worst time of my life currently. This is definitely rock bottom for me.
Ok, so for the past 3 years I've has this really odd feeling in my right ribcage. There isn't really any pain. It's more of a discomfort. It goes through a range of sensations but majoritively feels tight and uncomfortable. I keep pulling my skin away gently from my ribs because it almost feels like it relieves a bit of the tension. Sometimes I get a weird nerve feeling around if too. Hard to describe. This is literally taking over my life. I'm terrified. I've seen a doctor and they think it's an anxiety symptom.. But could it really be if it's this bad?
Teeny backstory.. I went on ciraltpram last year when it got really bad and that helped.
I've just gone back on it and desperate for it to help again.. But no let up yet.
Has anyone else ever experienced this? Or can anyone give me any reassurance? I've never felt so alone in my whole life. I've started cutting again which is embarrassing to admit because I just feel so desperate and alone.
Thank you for reading X

[ServerError]

Welcome to the forum. None of us wants to end up here, but it's a friendly place when we do.

I think your post displays some of the classic traits we often see around here, so I'm going to try and reassure you.

Firstly, your life feels like it's being taken over because of your thought process. It is the that is making you so miserable. When/if the citalopram starts to kick in, use the brighter feeling to begin working on your thinking patterns. However, I repeat, it is your thoughts that are making you miserable.

As for the symptom itself, if it's been there for three years and no harm has been done, it's almost certainly nothing to worry about. But if you keep prodding and poking at it, and if you keep focusing your mind on it, it's a sure way to make it stick around.

I can't tell you for certain what the sensation is. But I do know that sometimes our bodies do this kind of thing and there is no obvious explanation. They're amazing, but imperfect. That said, you have had medical advice that says it's nothing to worry about. This is all I need to know you're fine. As I often say round here, if you can't trust the doctor, who will you trust?

I hope this has been of some help. Good luck with the citalopram. Get yourself challenging those worrying thoughts because it is they that are causing you so much anguish.

[Scared-to-human]

Thank you so much for such an amazing response. I've read over it so many times! I'll do my best to try and change my thought processes.

Thank you so much again!

[ServerError]

Happy to help!

Just remember, changing thought processes and habits is hard. It won't change overnight, and whatever reassurance you've taken from my response probably won't instantly change your life.

I'll assume that you've been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, so things like worrying thoughts and compulsions to check physical symptoms and body parts are something you probably have some experience with. In which case, you'll already know that you can feel that you've overcome a worry, only for it to resurface. Or new ones can crop up. Anxiety is a treatable condition, but it rarely if ever goes away rapidly, and it requires that ongoing process to begin to change the thinking patterns that trigger it and make it worse. This is where therapy can be very helpful.

Also remember that challenging thought patterns does not mean suppressing thoughts. I'm no fan of thought suppression. I think it's more or less impossible. You've probably heard the concept of being told not to think of a pink elephant, and then all you can think of is a pink elephant. That's just how our brains work. So when you feel yourself worrying about a symptom, you're not supposed to get into a wrestling match with the thought in the hope you can fight it off. The thought is allowed to be there. But what you do is allow it to run its course without throwing a bunch of emotion at it or attaching meaning of truth to it. And you challenge simply by countering if. So if a "worst case scenario" thought crops up, you challenge it with the many many other totally benign possibilities

None of this is easy. Some find medication helps them with this, others manage to do it without. Therapy is recommended for everyone as it is the cornerstone of learning to take this approach. But regardless of who you are or how long you've suffered, this route back to a happier, less anxious life is open to you.