View Full Version : Terrified of schizophrenia!!!! Please help
Ljthompson10
05-11-16, 19:35
Guys I need help. At the minute I am studying psychology at A level and we are learning about schizophrenia!
And I feel like since my health anxiety has been bad I am experiencing negative symptoms of it. E.g.
Loss of interest
Lack of motivation at times.
Stopped being so energetic
Stopped seeing mates as much
Not as intreguing in convosations.
It's terrifying me.
But the rational side makes me think If I had it I wouldn't be aware of it.
Please give help.
Mug needed!!
Ljthompson10
05-11-16, 21:14
With respect, if you think they're the symptoms of schizophrenia you're going to fail your exams.
But it says on google they are??
Are they not aha
Ljthompson10
05-11-16, 21:29
Ok. I'll stop.
But why does google say it?
It's so silly
there's another poster with very similar patterns to you and (strangely) the exact same health obsessions
You noticed that too... even the tingly arm :whistles:
Positive thoughts
rather than expecting us to play whack-a-mole with yet another illness you have no symptoms of.
"Wack-a-mole"
:roflmao:
:roflmao:
Reading through your posts there's something strikingly familiar about them. Same as one of two other new members.
Paranoia? Possibly.
Ljthompson10 you could before posting use the search to look for posts that are the same as yours, because 9/10 you will find the exact same thing asked and get all the reassurance you need there, what is it you're studying?
---------- Post added at 22:00 ---------- Previous post was at 21:58 ----------
Forget that question, psychology. Need my eyes testing! :blush:
Ljthompson10
05-11-16, 22:06
But it says on certain sites that they are symptoms of schizophrenia
But I didn't think that.
FlightlessFlamingo
05-11-16, 22:10
Google isn't telling you any of this, you're saying it to yourself.
I don't mean to hijack this thread but.. There should be a thread on the HA forum full of wonderful quotes. This should be in it. It's one of a few I've read recently that just strikes some sense back into me.
Ljthompson10
05-11-16, 23:39
Why does it say it on certain websites though?
---------- Post added at 23:39 ---------- Previous post was at 22:41 ----------
?????
That's the bit that freaks me out ahs
FlightlessFlamingo
05-11-16, 23:42
Those are symptoms of a LOT of different things, including anxiety and depression, which I'm guessing you definitely have if you are here?
They're also very vague and I would imagine most of the population has had them at one point or another. Most of the population is not schizophrenic.
Ljthompson10
05-11-16, 23:58
Yeah true.
Plus I've heard that you don't know if your schizophrenic as the changes in your personality become 'normal'
So if your worrying about it your fine.
Is this true yeah?
FlightlessFlamingo
06-11-16, 00:13
I would imagine so, yes.
I work with Schizophrenics of varying degrees on a daily basis.
If you had untreated Schizophrenia as of this moment, you wouldn't have the mental capacity to seek out an anxiety forum online with a list of broad, non specific symptoms worrying that you might be developing Schizophrenia. Believe me.
Drop this train of thought from your mind completely.
Schizophrenia has a good list of symptoms but to be diagnosed with Schizophrenia you MUST have delusions and or hallucinatinons. With my HA and OCD I spent 2 years worrying about Schizophrenia and trust me. You don't have it. You wouldn't know if you did! That's the key about insanity. To lose touch with reality you simply wouldn't know. I hope this gives you some reassurance.
Scaredlady
06-11-16, 17:19
Ljthompson;
Let me tell you something (It might be long but it may just help you in some way)....
Last year (around May) I was reading in bed one night and eventually decided to put the book down, turn off the light and go to sleep because it had got really late.
I must have fallen into a light sleep when I was woken up by what I thought was someone calling my name; I didn't think much of it at the time and went back to sleep.
The next morning I woke up and instantly felt alarmed but I didn't know why. I remember turning on the TV, being scared and feeling overwhelmed by the sound. I didn't know what was happening but I was terrified.
I tried to go about my normal routine that morning, the typical things like having a shower, putting on a wash etc but I couldn't - The sounds were overbearing, the sound of the running water, the sound of the washing machine, it was all too much. For some reason every time I heard something normal I was questioning it "Was that my name?" "Was that a voice?" My own breathing then became a source of worry, every wheeze, every time I inhaled/exhaled; I was questioning the sound.
This went on for a few weeks and every single moment of every single day I was scared; I couldn't sleep, I couldn't listen to music, I couldn't concentrate on anything, I found I was excessively monitoring sounds, looking for reassurance - daily life had become a source of terror because I thought it was schizophrenia.
I eventually spoke to a nurse, she assured me it was nothing more than anxiety, so I continued to get on with life but I could never escape the worry, my whole life had become consumed by the thought of hearing voices. I didn't believe that the nurse was right, I thought she had got it wrong!
I again went to speak to someone else about a month later when things just got too much to handle; My doctor and for a second time I was told it was anxiety. The doctor prescribed me medication but I didn't take it as I was petrified of dying, of the tablets triggering psychosis, a load of fears stopped me from taking what would have helped me and I thought the doctor was wrong!
Fast forward 15 months and my anxiety has deteriorated. It's been a living hell every day - Questioning sounds, battling unwanted thoughts, trouble sleeping, a racing mind, worrying about things that have not happened and all that has been achieved with this destructive pattern is increased anxiety.
I have forgotten how to relax, I can not sit and watch a film or read a book because my mind is constantly on over drive - "What if I hurt someone?", "Oh my God am I getting paranoid?" I can not stop thinking and all of those "What if" concerns have since descended into a battle between ininitally questioning and then saying it's definitely true, which then results in me having the need to correct the thoughts.... Over and over and over again; I worry without ever finding a conclusion.
It's exhausting and it's debilitating. I've had days where I haven't felt as bad but it's never lasted long because something would always set me off again.
I am over alert, far too aware of my surroundings, sensitive to noises that other people wouldn't acknowledge because they are not on "lookout", whereas I am forever listening. I zoom in on sounds and then I feel the need to go about trying to ascertain the source; If I can't work out where the sound came from I go into ultra panic mode.
Nights are when I am most frightened and it makes sleep highly difficult. I actively try to distract myself, to focus on something else but all too often my anxiety takes control and I'm in a state, expecting the worse.
I live each day with the expectation of doom, I genuinely anticipate that today will be the day that I have a psychotic episode, that today I will start to hear actual voices, today I will start to think I'm in real danger - This is how I live every single day and to be honest it's tiring, I'm wrecked, I'm drained and I'm fed up of it.
I recently went back to my doctor (My own doctor is actually on maternity leave so I ended up seeing a locum) but again this doctor told me I do not have schizophrenia - So in the time that this all began for me in May of last year up to this very point I have now been told by three medical professionals over the course of 18 months that I do not have schizophrenia and that I am not displaying any of the onset symptoms of schizophrenia.
My rational self believes that I am not schizophrenic but my fear has latched onto the anxiety fueled belief that I am. Even writing that I believe I don't have schizophrenia scares me because right now I'm thinking "What if I've tempted fate by saying I don't have it and I end up getting it now?"
It's hard work thinking like this, it consumes my time, my hopes, my energy, it takes everything and gives nothing good in return.
I started medication on Wednesday (Sertraline 50mg and Propranolol 80mg).... The first night was amazing, I was seriously relaxed and I was able to IGNORE my unwanted thoughts but although I could not sleep, I was not scared and I was having closed eye hallucinations - I have NEVER had hallucinations before and if I hadn't felt relaxed from the medication I would have been petrified.
Thursday night was similar, I couldn't sleep but I was on edge and frightened, having closed eye halluncinations. Friday night I was highly anxious and worried but I must have fallen asleep after a few hours. Last night I was awake most of the night but found distraction easier than it usually is.
I then started to worry that the medication would trigger a psychotic episode because of something I read on Google and this is a worry that I am currently working through.
Googling has ALWAYS made my anxiety more crippling; I have days of being able to resist the urge to Google and then days where I spend hours reading horror stories non stop.
In fact I think most of my worries about "schizophrenia signs" came from Google and/or the uneducated/ill informed opinions of people on the comments section under articles I have read on.... Google.
The reality is I don't suffer from the "flat effect", I haven't lost interest in life/hobbies, my relationship with family/friends hasn't deteriorated, I'm not in a catatonic state and I don't think I am suffering from delusions of any type.
However, I analyse things extensively and I'll give you examples of this -
It's Sunday today and I felt like having a lazy day but does that mean I'm neglecting my appearance because I didn't wash my hair or do my make up? Some people on Google would likely tell me it's a sign of schizophrenia.
Sometimes my siblings and I have arguments but all families do. Yet there are sources on Google that would suggest this could be a sign of schizophrenia.
I smoke cigarettes and a few weeks ago I read on Google that people with schizophrenia tend to be smokers. Well I went into a complete meltdown when I read that.
The above is just a small selection of examples of how I have previously allowed misinterpreted information to intensify my anxiety.
I've wished for cancer, for HIV, for anything physical even if life threatening because I'm not afraid of those things - Whereas the thought of being insane, spending a lifetime on medication and in hospitals is more than I could handle or more than I would want to handle.
I have thought about "when the time comes", if I am diagnosed with schizophrenia what will I do? I'd have to end things, I couldn't deal with the stigma, the implications.... And it is a horrible way to have to think.
I'm staying on my anxiety medication and waiting on a referral from the mental health team, in the hope that I can and do get better. I have doubts about the anxiety diagnoses but I hope those doubts are unfounded - I really hope it is "just" anxiety, in fact I hope it's anything but a severe psychotic illness, I hope it's anything but schizophrenia or similar extreme illnesses.
All I have at this point is hope and I don't want to lose that and I further hope that in time I can stop the feelings of trauma, of fear, of worry.
Good Luck to you Ljthompson, I don't think you have anything to be worried about though!
Ljthompson10
06-11-16, 17:42
I appreciate the reply. But how was that supposed to make me feel any better? :(
It's made me worse
Scaredlady
06-11-16, 17:57
I appreciate the reply. But how was that supposed to make me feel any better? :(
It's made me worse
Well I thought (obviously mistakenly) that knowing there were other people who obsess about schizophrenia (when doctors have repeatedly told them they don't have it) would reassure you that it's a common trend for people with anxiety/OCD to latch onto an exaggerated fear.
I really didn't intend to make you feel bad; It has given me comfort (at times) reading similar worries to my own on this forum, so I suppose I assumed it would help to some extent (even on a temporary basis) for you to know that people like me are battling the same erroneous thought process as you.
I'm sorry, I was trying to help.
Ljthompson10
06-11-16, 18:05
All i need is to be reassured that I don't have it.
Like the others have told mms and because of it I haven't worried today
ServerError
06-11-16, 18:16
All i need is to be reassured that I don't have it.
Like the others have told mms and because of it I haven't worried today
People will reply to you as they best see fit. We don't all know exactly what each individual poster needs. You come across as extremely ungrateful for a very long reply from somebody who can clearly relate to you.
You don't have schizophrenia. That's the end of the story. You have a three page thread full of reassurance. What more do you want anyone to say? There is no evidence presented here to suggest you have it. We don't get schizophrenics on this forum because they're too busy being treated for the illness they don't recognise they have.
Scaredlady
06-11-16, 18:20
All i need is to be reassured that I don't have it.
Like the others have told mms and because of it I haven't worried today
I did tell you that you don't have it; I said "I don't think you have anything to worry about" and "An erroneous thought process"......
I was pointing out the similarities between your fear and mine, and the inconsistencies of our combined worries in comparison with the actual real symptoms in an attempt to offer reassurance, I'm sorry that you have misinterpreted my well meaning intentions.
Anyway I'll not comment any further on this, good luck and I hope you're feeling better soon.
All i need is to be reassured that I don't have it.
That's not true. All you need is help with your anxiety.
Reassurance may make you feel better temporarily until the next worry comes along,
The sooner you realise you shouldn't be having these thoughts in the first place the better.
I don't know why I'm replying as I'm unsure about this whole thing..
Ljthompson10
06-11-16, 19:01
Sorry.
What do you mean by your unsure about this whole thing?
---------- Post added at 19:01 ---------- Previous post was at 18:59 ----------
That's not true. All you need is help with your anxiety.
Reassurance may make you feel better temporarily until the next worry comes along,
The sooner you realise you shouldn't be having these thoughts in the first place the better.
I don't know why I'm replying as I'm unsure about this whole thing..
What do you mean your unsure????
Anyway, I'm going to try and tackle my anxiety now
Positive thoughts
Sorry.
What do you mean by your unsure about this whole thing?
---------- Post added at 19:01 ---------- Previous post was at 18:59 ----------
What do you mean your unsure????
As in I'm unsure about your posts, being genuine.
Ljthompson10
06-11-16, 19:14
As in I'm unsure about your posts, being genuine.
So you think I'm lying
---------- Post added at 19:14 ---------- Previous post was at 19:13 ----------
As in I'm unsure about your posts, being genuine.
So you think I'm lying?
Hi! I'm 27 female and I thought I had this when I was in high school and my therapist told me I didn't and she would have known. Then last month I looked up symptoms that match some of mine (like irrational fears) and convinced myself I had it and googled my my symptoms crying on my floor again.. now a different psychologist I see told me that I don't have it and she would have even be able to see it if it was mild. since then I haven't even thought about it! Don't worry you don't have it. My first therapist told me I wouldn't be questioning if I had it because it would be my reality.
So you think I'm lying
---------- Post added at 19:14 ---------- Previous post was at 19:13 ----------
So you think I'm lying?
Possibly. Does that offend you?
I still gave you advice regardless of my doubts. Have you acknowledged that?
nomorepanic
06-11-16, 19:54
I believe that some members think this is a current member with a new account but I can assure you it is not the same person.
I believe that some members think this is a current member with a new account but I can assure you it is not the same person.
Genuine question. How can you tell?
MyNameIsTerry
07-11-16, 05:06
I believe that some members think this is a current member with a new account but I can assure you it is not the same person.
Thank you for the clarification, Nic. That's all anyone needs to know to move on. :yesyes:
MyNameIsTerry
07-11-16, 07:39
Admins will see IP addresses and it would be fairly easy to spot sock puppeting.
LJ clearly isn't Helen because he actually replies to people's posts! But he has an uncanny similarity in his fears and attitudes and we need to make sure we don't let him go down the same destructive path... I'd genuinely recommend he stops posting (at least so often) because it's not helping him and just making him dwell on his HA thoughts.
Amongst other negativity too.
Thank you for the clarification, Nic. That's all anyone needs to know to move on. :yesyes:
I did - I stopped answering ages ago. Ax has kindly answered my question for me though, learn something new every day!
MyNameIsTerry
07-11-16, 08:25
I did - I stopped answering ages ago. Ax has kindly answered my question for me though, learn something new every day!
Sorry Mercime, I meant that as in general, not to you as I can see you weren't commenting anyway.
I didn't answer on the IP, I left that for Nic to explain but I know they do it from time to time with some of the spammers who just sign back up as they can block the IP's too.
Scaredlady
07-11-16, 11:20
Admins will see IP addresses and it would be fairly easy to spot sock puppeting.
LJ clearly isn't Helen because he actually replies to people's posts! But he has an uncanny similarity in his fears and attitudes and we need to make sure we don't let him go down the same destructive path... I'd genuinely recommend he stops posting (at least so often) because it's not helping him and just making him dwell on his HA thoughts.
I have the same fear as Ljthompson (although mine very much revolves around the one illness, whereas he seems to bounce back and forth to a number of fears), however we are not one in the same person.
People with similar fears shouldn't face the accusation of being liars and frauds - My anxiety over Schizophrenia is highly debilitating and I don't need to exaggerate it.
I haven't seen the post(s) from the girl you refer to, Helen and my comments to Ljthompson were quickly dismissed by him as he felt I wasn't being helpful, nevertheless whilst I accept that perpetual reassurance isn't productive, sometimes (especially late at night) it's all that a person in a state of fear needs, for someone, anyone just to say "Hey it's OK".
Not everyone who avails of this forum is as far along in their recovery as others. I have sought a reassuring word at times on here but I have then actually worked towards getting to grips with my fears - I do daily self help worksheets, I do the breathing exercises (although I'm not confident of how effective they are), I have started keeping a journal, I am on medication as of last Wednesday and I am waiting on a referral from the MHT.
However, some days I might need some advice or to know that others were once struggling too; I think that's acceptable until I have fully learned how to embrace the techniques I need to be reliant on my own reassurance as opposed to the reassuring words of others.
I don't want to be made to feel bad by asking for help and I am sure no one else wants to either.
Ljthompson10
07-11-16, 11:23
This is exactly how I feel.
My fear are not as debilitating as yours and I skim over ilnnesses
But I fully agree!!!!!
MyNameIsTerry
07-11-16, 11:36
I have the same fear as Ljthompson (although mine very much revolves around the one illness, whereas he seems to bounce back and forth to a number of fears), however we are not one in the same person.
People with similar fears shouldn't face the accusation of being liars and frauds - My anxiety over Schizophrenia is highly debilitating and I don't need to exaggerate it.
I haven't seen the post(s) from the girl you refer to, Helen and my comments to Ljthompson were quickly dismissed by him as he felt I wasn't being helpful, nevertheless whilst I accept that perpetual reassurance isn't productive, sometimes (especially late at night) it's all that a person in a state of fear needs, for someone, anyone just to say "Hey it's OK".
Not everyone who avails of this forum is as far along in their recovery as others. I have sought a reassuring word at times on here but I have then actually worked towards getting to grips with my fears - I do daily self help worksheets, I do the breathing exercises (although I'm not confident of how effective they are), I have started keeping a journal, I am on medication as of last Wednesday and I am waiting on a referral from the MHT.
However, some days I might need some advice or to know that others were once struggling too; I think that's acceptable until I have fully learned how to embrace the techniques I need to be reliant on my own reassurance as opposed to the reassuring words of others.
I don't want to be made to feel bad by asking for help and I am sure no one else wants to either.
Very well said. :yesyes:
I think the OP should look at your posting too. I've been seeing you talk about schizophrenia since you've been here. I think he needs to re-read what you are saying to understand it rather than the reaction you had but at the time he was being questioned so it might have been an emotional reaction?
You are one of many on here that have, more of them are on the OCD board. The mental disorder worries are less covered on the HA board, in my opinion, so people may be less aware of them but on the OCD board they are just part of the norm, just another theme, to us.
OK so I've upset people with my comments and for that I do apologise. I tried to keep it in, honest!
I can't apogise for my thoughts but I apologise for sharing them and causing offence to people, that's not me, I like helping people.
MyNameIsTerry
08-11-16, 07:19
OK so I've upset people with my comments and for that I do apologise. I tried to keep it in, honest!
I can't apogise for my thoughts but I apologise for sharing them and causing offence to people, that's not me, I like helping people.
Don't worry, Katie, I'm sure we all know that about you. :flowers:
Don't worry, Katie, I'm sure we all know that about you. :flowers:
Thanks Terry
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