Convinced I have lymphoma.

[thomas1998]

18 year old male.

I've just given in again and googled lymphoma symptoms and now I'm 90% sure I have lymphoma and I'm terrified. I've googled doctor responses and the consensus is that lymph nodes should not be palpable - I have 3 palpable, one even feels particularly large. One has been there for 6 weeks, one for 2 weeks and the third I found recently.

Other symptoms I match with:

Fatigue - I've had fatigue for the last 3 months, particularly muscle fatigue in my legs, it's an almost constant feeling of sluggishness that I can't shake off, happens in my arms sometimes aswell.

Fever that comes and goes - I've had this aswell, random hot flashes all the time when I'm just sitting doing nothing and nobody else is particularly hot, my forehead is just roasting hot and I get weird chill/tingly feelings flushing through my body.

I've also been having a host of bowel/stomach issues for around 3 months aswell, my doctor put it down to "IBS".

I've even had light sweats at night but I pinned it to anxiety.

I'm booking an appointment tomorrow to get my lymph nodes evaluated by a doctor - I got her to feel about 1 month ago and she said it felt normal but I've since found 2 new ones and I'm freaking the hell out, I don't want to go through this, I almost feel like crying and I know that's pathetic but I just can't deal with this.

[Scaredlady]

First off, it's not "pathetic" at all - I promise you it is not pathetic to be afraid. There's no place more terrifying than in our own heads.

I don't know enough about Lymphoma to completely relieve your concerns but I do know that a lot of what you're describing can be anxiety and/or other common and NON LIFE THREATENING illnesses.

I feel fatigue, sluggish, have random bouts of tingling all over my body, weird internal sensations, sweating at night and hot flushes during the day but I do not have Lymphoma.

You're doing the right thing by booking an appointment to see your doctor but if you had any physical signs/changes she likely would have spotted it last month - Nevertheless see her again and hopefully she will be able to put your mind at rest.

I can relate to the google mistake - I had been doing well avoiding it for a week and then I gave into obsessive temptation and do you know what? It made me feel more terrified than I already was - google will never be a friend to anyone who has anxiety.

Have you tried some breathing exercises to stay calm? They don't work for me (But I don't think I'm doing it right) but others swear by the techniques, you could try some.

[thomas1998]

I know she should have felt them, I can't help but say to myself that she must have missed them, but to me they're so obviously enlarged, I even got my mum and sisters to feel them and they could and told me to get them checked, and that was 4 weeks ago now and they're still here, yet the doctor said she couldn't feel anything abnormal?! I'm going to ask for a different GP tomorrow.

Then again, I can also rationalise that she will have felt a thousand necks before and knows what's normal, me and my family do not - still though my anxiety is just through the roof worrying about having lymphoma, I tick most of the symptoms and they aren't going away.

[Scaredlady]

I know she should have felt them, I can't help but say to myself that she must have missed them, but to me they're so obviously enlarged, I even got my mum and sisters to feel them and they could and told me to get them checked, and that was 4 weeks ago now and they're still here, yet the doctor said she couldn't feel anything abnormal?! I'm going to ask for a different GP tomorrow.

Then again, I can also rationalise that she will have felt a thousand necks before and knows what's normal, me and my family do not - still though my anxiety is just through the roof worrying about having lymphoma, I tick most of the symptoms and they aren't going away.

Could it be goitre? Cysts? A deposit of fat cells? A common infection? There are loads of non cancerous alternatives.

Similar symptoms can be indicative of so many conditions and most are not fatal or life threatening in any way.

If you had a headache and Googled the symptoms, doctor Google would have you convinced it was a brain tumour, an aneurysm etc because that's how anxiety works, it latches on and magnifies the smallest thing until it convinces us to believe the most devastating outcome.

I'm like you about another illness- I obsess, worry, stress, check symptoms, freak out etc and I am convinced that I am sick but two doctors, a nurse, my family/friends and dozens of people on mental health forums have assured me repeatedly that I'm wrong; Do I believe them? Yes, yes I do but does my anxiety believe them? No and that's where the battle is.

It's hard, trust me I know how you're feeling and it is petrifying - Attend your doctor's appointment and disclose your anxieties to see what is suggested; Please don't keep it bottled up, I did that for a long time and my anxiety worsened.

Now (and only recently) I have sought help, I'm on medication and I am awaiting a referral to see someone who specialises in this field because I want to stop living in fear.

[thomas1998]

Soonest I could get for an appointment is Friday :(

[Scaredlady]

Soonest I could get for an appointment is Friday :(

Look at the positives - Friday is only five "sleeps" away and in the mean time you are alive.... And I am confident it will stay that way because it is unlikely that you have Lymphoma.

[thomas1998]

I just feel so off, sometimes I'm sitting and I feel fine and like nothing could be wrong, and then there's right now where my forehead is boiling hot for no reason, my arms and legs feel tired even though I don't, and I feel like something's definitely wrong.

I thought maybe it was to do with my thyroid, I got it tested, and then they said they wanted to repeat the test, and then they said it was "normal" but they want to do it again in 3 months? Which makes me think maybe something's off but they want to see if the levels persist? I just have no idea.

And I'm still so uncertain about my lymph nodes, I can definitely feel them, one is hard and fixated and the other is very moveable, but they don't protrude out of the skin on their own, I don't know what "swollen" means, but I've seen doctors online say that they shouldn't be palpable at all.

[Fishmanpa]

I don't know what "swollen" means


Swol·len
ˈswōlən/Submit

past participle of swell.
synonyms: distended, expanded, enlarged, bulging, inflated, dilated, bloated, puffed up, puffy, tumescent, tumid; inflamed, varicose

You don't have swollen nodes if you have to poke around to feel them. If you continue to poke and prod, they can and will swell and can become shotty.


I had Head and Neck cancer. I had swollen nodes. It's obvious! If you have to dig to feel them, they're NOT swollen.

Positive thoughts

[thomas1998]

When you check for lumps/lymph nodes, should you be keeping your head straight, or turn to the side and and stretch the skin? When I do that, I can feel them very easily without any "digging", however when I face straight ahead it's much harder to detect anything, and that's how the doctor evaluated my neck.

I'm so sorry of how obsessive I'm being and I really do appreciate your reassurance but my brain pounds these questions and anxiety at me thinking something has to be wrong.

[Fishmanpa]

When you check for lumps/lymph nodes, should you be keeping your head straight, or turn to the side and and stretch the skin?

You DON'T CHECK! Look... you're too deep in an anxiety spiral to hear any logic and reassurance won't work. I'll tell you "told you so" after you get the all clear from the doctor.

Positive thoughts

[thomas1998]

I know I shouldn't check, I just really can't help it, and I still don't understand - surely if I can feel them, then they are there, and I shouldn't be able to feel them, especially not for this long with new ones appearing.

[Fishmanpa]

Ok... last try....

There are over 600 lymph nodes in our bodies. They vary in size from a grain of rice to up to 2cm and that's normal! If you poke and prod enough you'll find some that you can feel. They're not "new", you just haven't felt them before. And again, one more time... If you continue to poke and prod them, they WILL become irritated and can swell. Do it enough and they can become shotty (permanently swollen).

So, go to your doctor appointment, get the all clear and then ask about your anxiety and getting treatment for that.

Good luck and as always

Positive thoughts

[thomas1998]

An earlier appointment opened up and I'm in tomorrow at 9:30, hopefully I get told there's nothing concerning.

Thank you again Fishmanpa and Scaredlady, I really do appreciate it.

[LouiseC1896]

Hi, I too have recently convinced myself I have lymphoma, I have discovered a pea sized lump in my forearm which is moveable but my hand wrist and arm are sore, I first thought it was sarcoma but more googling has led be to believe its lymphoma. I did not know you had lymph nodes in your forearm or that it could be a sign of lymphoma. I also have had itchy watery eyes for weeks and an eye infection. I am so scared, I don't want to go to the doctors as I've already been there this year convinced I had 5 different types of cancer.

[thomas1998]

I'm just out from my appointment and I don't know how to feel. He could feel the lumps and confirmed they were, albeit small, lymph nodes. He said if I'd had any sign of congestion or ear infection or even allergies then they can pop up from that and can remain swollen if you poke at them. I asked him if the size was concerning at all and he said they weren't, and that it's common to find them if you go poking for them, of course I know all of this already.

I told him I found them at end of September and he said to wait until the beginning of December and if they're still there then come back and to do bloods and I assume to see if they're any bigger.

On the one hand I'm relieved that the sizes of them did not seem concerning at all to him, he said generally he can tell just by pressing that something is wrong in there and he says it's not concerning. On the other hand the fact that he wants me to come back in 4 weeks if they're still there is worrying when they've already been there for 5 but I guess all I can do now is not touch them.

[LouiseC1896]

That's good he did not seemed concerned, have you had the cold recently, I had the cold on and off for about a months How many lumps do you have, I can feel a few but one sticks out more, its feels kind of hard but squishy and bumpy at the same time and I can move it around. I feel sick, I thought I had cervical cancer last week until my smear came back clear then I found a lump in my forearm. I'm constantly in a state of panic, its affecting my day to day life.

[thomas1998]

Yeah that's the main thing I'm taking away from it: the doctor felt them and said the size of them was not concerning at all (honestly I thought the ones in my neck were quite big but apparently not, it's hard to gauge size when you can't see them.)

As for your worries, you should know that pea-sized is quite normal and not suggestive of enlargement (if you are indeed feeling lymph nodes) but if going to the doctor would put your mind at ease then just book the appointment and go, don't worry about what the doctor might think with you going up so often, their job is to tell you if something is wrong (and in your case I very much doubt there is and just sounds more like an anxiety problem like me.)

[Fishmanpa]

"Told ya so!" I like being able to say that :D And the return visit? In non-medical terms it's called covering your a$$! Now... Stop poking and prodding and get help with your anxiety!

Positive thoughts

[laura95]

You sound so much like me a week ago, my anxiety had peaked then, I was a mess. I've found that reading this forum is so much more helpful than googling symptoms, because there are so many people on here who have gone through the same thing and are okay. It just shows you how many people have nodes that are palpable, maybe 1cm or bigger in all different locations, and it's all absolutely normal and natural. Humans are tall, short, big build, petite, brown eyes, blue eyes...and have small nodes and larger nodes! This mindset has helped me massively. Trust what the doctor said. It's a horrendous symptom of HA to not believe the professional opinion but you will feel so much better once you do.

May I ask what size you estimate your nodes to be? I feel like we are in exactly the same boat; I'd say the 2 nodes that led me here are around 1cm, but feel bigger because obviously you're feeling the layer of skin above too.

[Fishmanpa]

May I ask what size you estimate your nodes to be? I feel like we are in exactly the same boat; I'd say the 2 nodes that led me here are around 1cm, but feel bigger because obviously you're feeling the layer of skin above too.

It doesn't matter... we cannot tell by ourselves the size of a node and by asking that question, it's just feeding the beast. Please see my post about the 600+ nodes in our bodies. I had cancerous nodes. If there is a real issue, there's NO mistaking it! Best to not poke and prod and seek help with the irrational fear.

Positive thoughts

[thomas1998]

"Told ya so!" I like being able to say that :D And the return visit? In non-medical terms it's called covering your a$$! Now... Stop poking and prodding and get help with your anxiety!

Positive thoughts

Thank you very much x)

---------- Post added at 13:25 ---------- Previous post was at 13:17 ----------

All I can advise to everyone else's worries is that if you're really concerned, see a doctor to put your mind at rest, it's very likely nothing but there's no point Googling yourself in to a downward spiral.

[Mav]

Hi I'm 18, and a girl with the same exact concerns. Worried sick about lymphoma after finding one hard lump in my armpit.

This was 5 months ago, I had blood tests and check ups and they said everything was fine.

5 months later, guess what, I'm still fine!!!

I have to keep reminding myself off this, I know I'm fine and people before me will have found lumps and bumps in the same places to you and I, and they were fine too.

It's our anxiety driving us mad my friend, nothing more and nothing less. The chances of us harbouring any type of cancer at this age is little and if we should be so unlucky then that is our bad luck, but how many things happen out of bad luck anyway? Luck is a stupid measurement and has no rationality so lets try and be rational and stick to logic. :-)